Unintentionally Hilarious Quotes & Sayings

[E]ighty percent of success is just showing up. — Stephen King

Because it's his bad luck to be the best. — Thomas Harris

There are some guys you date who are so bad that when you tell the story about them, it reflects just as badly on you as it does on them. — Liz Tuccillo

I know something now I didn't know a year ago," said Quoyle. "Petal wasn't any good. And I think maybe that is why I loved her."
"Yes," said Wavey. "Same with Herold. It's like you feel to yourself that's all you deserve. And the worse it gets the more it seems true, that you got it coming to you or it wouldn't be that way. You know what I mean? — Annie Proulx

You have a great destiny before you. This is your moment! I truly believe that one virtuous young woman, led by the Spirit, can change the world. — Elaine S. Dalton

The Bible consistently and directly indicates that when we give generously, we're serving, honoring, and glorifying God. After all, generosity is fundamental to God's nature. — Craig Groeschel

Opportunity: A favorable occasion for grasping a disappointment. — Ambrose Bierce

Calvaryites are sometimes a little too heavily oriented to the written Word. — John Wimber

I can't get rid of the sadness," Laronne said.
"Well," David said, "then we'll just keep it company. — Heidi Durrow

Unintentional foreshadowing is unintentionally hilarious. — Sarah Wendell

I know how to create and make people feel something. Honestly, if I didn't do this, I would just have some minimum-wage job in New Mexico, and I would go out on the weekends and make just enough money to pay my insurance and pay for a couple beers, and that would be it. — Freddie Prinze Jr.

I have no interest in making music that's built for an antique shop. — James Vincent McMorrow

The difference between the poet and the mathematician is that the poet tries to get his head into the heavens while the mathematician tries to get the heavens into his head. — G.K. Chesterton

No one should be adored, it's fundamentally immoral. — Kate Millett