Unintended Funny Quotes & Sayings

The story," the intruder said, settling back in the chair. "Once upon a time, over the gravity well and far away, there was a magical land where they had no kings, no laws, no money and no property, but where everybody lived like a prince, was very well-behaved and lacked for nothing. And these people lived in peace, but they were bored, because paradise can get that way after a time, and so they started to carry out missions of good works; charitable visits upon the less well-off, you might say; and they always tried to bring with them the thing that they saw as the most precious gift of all; knowledge; information; and as wide a spread of that information as possible, because these people were strange in that they despised rank, and hated kings ... and all things hierarchic — Iain M. Banks

An aphorism that does not score is just one more sentence. — Mason Cooley

I've had a long line of failed television programs, pilots that were never picked up, series that didn't go very long. I've learned that there's really nothing you can do. If it's not in my control, I try not to worry about it. — Nathan Fillion

I suppose if the relationship is between two people who are keeping score, then you are right - there will be a winner and a loser. However, if no one is keeping score, then no one loses. — Penny Reid

You've got to get as literal as you can get to convince people sometimes that you can do something. — Gillian Jacobs

Any good person who is motivated to attain awareness of the whole truth should follow the Universal Way to calm his mind and harmonize it with all aspects of life. — Lao-Tzu

I refuse to behave fraudulently, as if I was anything else but African. — Gloria D. Gonsalves

You're not allowed to give yourself a nickname. This holds true in life as well as in poker. — Richard Roeper

We're all going to die, Johnny. Hit the iron bell like it's dinnertime. — Cheryl Strayed

No one ever found wisdom without also being a fool. Writers, alas, have to be fools in public, while the rest of the human race can cover its tracks. — Erica Jong

Prayer should be short, without giving God Almighty reasons why he should grant this, or that; he knows best what is good for us. — John Selden