Quotes & Sayings About Unicorns

What's wrong with unicorns?" she demanded from behind him, her chalk sounding as it scraped the ground. "They're a noble and - "
"They're a noble and incredibly girly animal," Joel said. "I've got my masculine reputation to think of."
"Oh hush, you," she said. "You'll deal with unicorns - maybe some flower people and a pegasus or two - and you'll like it. Otherwise, you can just go draw your own circle, thank you very much. — Brandon Sanderson

It would have been nice to have had unicorns. — Tom Stoppard

She did not look anything like a horned horse, as unicorns are often pictured, being smaller and cloven-hoofed, and possessing that oldest, wildest grace that horses have never had, that deer have only in a shy, thin imitation and goats in dancing mockery. — Peter S. Beagle

And made Nina see rainbows and stars and stupid-assed unicorns. — Dakota Cassidy

I found the hum of his computer rather soothing, but it was the complete lack of unicorn carcasses that really pulled the room together. — Diana Peterfreund

But as those who do hold Trump to the standards of any other person have found out on Twitter and other social media outlets these Trump followers are a nasty fascistic lot. Dowd is lucky he didn't get death threats like Kurt Eichenwald. Or maybe he did and refuses to acknowledge them. If you voted for Trump and continue to support him and you think you are better than these bigoted virulent trolls, you're not. Your silence enables them just as it did in the racist campaign that Trump and Bannon ran. In fact, hiding behind a civilized veneer in your support of fascism I consider more dangerous. We're past describing you as collaborators at this point. That lets you off the hook. You're Russo-American oligarchical theocratic fascists. — Kevin Sessums

Gabe twirls across the floor with his arms spread wide. Unicorns might shoot out of his fingertips, he's so pleased with himself. — Michelle Warren

We were born in the '70s, back when twins were rare, a bit magical: cousins of the unicorn, siblings of the elves. — Gillian Flynn

I had choosen the path of the black sheep rather than that of the unicorns and puppies. — Magenta Periwinkle

I felt bad for the girls in my school, who flocked to prom like it was the second coming of Christ, complete with double-rainbows and unicorns. — G.G. Silverman

Eventually, I spent so much time in the friend zone
that I grew to think of it as some kind
of magical home away from home, some lush forest
filled with unicorns and elves and puppies
none of whom were getting laid. — Dylan Garity

In ten years I'd never had an interesting teacher. I was beginning to think they were myths, like unicorns and comfortable high heels.

Eve, Jaymin (2014-01-15). First World (A Walker Saga Book 1) (p. 19). . Kindle Edition. — Jaymin Eve

Through gypsy camps and swirling Arab fair, and moonlit woods where unicorns run free. — Shel Silverstein

Why did they go away, do you think? If there ever were such things."
"Who knows? Times change. Would you call this age a good one for unicorns?"
"No, but I wonder if any man before us ever thought his time a good time for unicorns. — Peter S. Beagle

Rainbows only look good next to Unicorns. — Shawnee Small

Unicorns are real and emo is imaginary. — Mikey Way

If Jesus, Jesse James, and a herd of pink robot unicorns strolled in walking on water, this bunch wouldn't even look up. — Richard Kadrey

Unicorns know naught of shame, or need, or doubt, or debt;
But mortals, as you may have noticed, take what they can get. — Peter S. Beagle

If your child comes home with a stable staff of nurses that remains stable for years without interruption, you might be a family of unicorns — Charisse Montgomery

Unicorns are not real, though we still dream about them! DREAM ON! — Lindsey Johnson

He held out his elbow in a disingenuously gentlymanly gesture.
"How about we go and have some real fun?"
"What,shattering my one remaining fantasy wasn't enough?" Faeries didn't have wings and bordered on evil; pixies were dirty,feral, and tended to bite' and mermaids had neither glorious hair nor seashell bras. Now this about unicorns. Sometimes reality sucked.
"You can always chase the unicorn, if you want.Take it for a ride."
I shuddered at the thought and sat down, leaning my back against the tree and unzipping my coat. "No,thanks. — Kiersten White

Holly: Seriously, you don't like unicorns? What kind person doesn't like unicorns?
Justine: What kind of a person doesn't like zombies? What have zombies ever done to you?
Holly: Zombies shamble. I disapprove of shambling. And they have bits that fall off. You never see a unicorn behaving that way.
Justine: I shamble. Bits fall off me all the time: hair, skin cells. Are you saying you disapprove of me? — Holly Black

In a funny way, acting, to me, is all make-believe, even if the film has unicorns in it or is a normal movie that can be set in real-life time. I'm still imagining that I'm a different character, so it's all, in a funny way, like fantasy. — Elle Fanning

I didn't love stickers and unicorns and stuff, but just if I were to ride on the back of a beast to work, I want it to be a frickin' unicorn. — Laura Benanti

Sovegna vos.
Here are the years that walk between, bearing
Away the fiddles and the flutes, restoring
One who moves in the time between sleep and waking, wearing
White light folded, sheathed about her, folded.
The new years walk, restoring
Through a bright cloud of tears, the years, restoring
With a new verse the ancient rhyme. Redeem
The time. Redeem
The unread vision in the higher dream
While jewelled unicorns draw by the gilded hearse. — T. S. Eliot

Sara: Tegan just recently discovered that unicorns don't exist.
Tegan: I just thought they were extinct. — Tegan Quin

Mystics were about as common as two-headed unicorns. The few who existed lived apart from the world of men, remaining untainted by influence and corruption. Having a wolf as her best friend demonstrated the sort of wisdom he appreciated. — Michael J. Sullivan

Some will say that searching for your dreams is like looking for unicorns in an emerald forest. — Fennel Hudson

I don't believe it!Are you telling me that these ugly creepers have left the Land of Maradonia? And ... they are now in their old world?"
King Apollyon, ruler of the Underworld, stood with his two sons, Abbadon and Plouton, in the empty cave of the unicorns and anger aroused within him.
Prince Abbadon shivered fearfully. His red rimmed eyes gaped wide. He looked so frightful, so pitiful and gestured wildly with both hands. Then he took a deep shuddering breath when he said: "Yes, but we know where they might be. We have information from our outposts telling us that Maya and Joey have reached their world in a region which is called Oceanside. Yes, Father, the discouraging truth is that the teenagers disappeared and it is very difficult to pinpoint them again, because they slipped into a different world. — Gloria Tesch

He wanted...something else. Something new. And maybe that put his heart at risk, but when Fitch looked at him like that, it made him think unicorns were real and they pooped rainbows. He — Elizabeth Varlet

Listen, twenty years ago, it wasn't so cool to have a calculator watch, right? And spending all day inside playing with your calculator watch sent a clear message that you weren't doing so well socially. And judgments like 'like' and 'dislike' and 'smiles' and 'frowns' were limited to junior high. Someone would write a note and it would say, 'Do you like unicorns and stickers?' and you'd say, 'Yeah, I like unicorns and stickers! Smile!' That kind of thing. But now it's not just junior high kids who do it, it's everyone, and it seems to me sometimes I've entered some inverted zone, some mirror world where the dorkiest shit in the world is completely dominant. The world has dorkified itself. — Dave Eggers

It isn't only the Utopians who become a little more immortal with every blade they take away. It isn't only they who delight in seeing unicorns and wingrays in the street, who gaze through Griffincloth into enchanting nowheres, and ride the shuttles to the brave, bare Moon, which their efforts make a little less bare every day. We all enjoy these wonders, all of us, all Hives, all Hiveless. Reader, you should not have barred Apollo Mojave from the Pantheon. — Ada Palmer

I believe in magic. Writing is my magic wand, and through my magic I create my own secret world, away from all these worries and responsibilities. Love, honesty and humanity is essential to enter this beautiful world of magic. I dwell among White magical peacocks, glowing unicorns, fire breathing turquoise dragons, talking trees, flying horses, talking wise jackals and wolves, crystal water falls, secret pathways hidden in urban gardens and books with doorways to secret worlds. You need to believe in magic to experience it. — Ama H. Vanniarachchy

:I am Topaz,: the unicorn on the hill haughtily announced, :and this is my vale.:
:I was not aware unicorns could own vales,: Wareska linked.
The unicorn stiffened, and even from this distance, Wareska could see her bright, golden eyes narrow dangerously. :Now you know,: she said with quiet menace. — Ash Gray

To live in a realm wracked with chaos is to live with pain, anguishing memories, and trolls. But it is also means living with unicorns. — C. Gockel

Jack laughed at my attempts to avoid being felt up by a mythical beast. "Apparently you're a virgin."
"Shut up!Like that's any of your business!"
He shrugged,the motion less effective upside down."Unicorns love maidens. Haven't you done any research at all?"
"What,you have?"
He flipped off the branch,startling the unicorn so badly it bolted from the meadow. Thank heavens. — Kiersten White

I had My Little Ponies. I was obsessed with the idea of a creature that was born with something magical that sort of made them the misfit in the world of the stallion. I'm actually quite obsessed with unicorns. They are in essence a mythical creature. The unicorn is born magical and it's not the unicorn's fault and it doesn't make it any more or less special or any less unique but it can't help that it was born with that magic. — Lady Gaga

Wherever they may have come from, and wherever they may have gone,
unicorns live inside the true believer's heart.
Which means as long as we can dream, there will be unicorns. — Bruce Coville

In a novel you always knew the moment when something Happened, when someone Changed. But real life was full of gradual, piecemeal, continuous transformation. It was full of accidents and undefineables, and things that just happened on their own. The only certainty was 'It's complicated,' whether or not unicorns tolerated your touch. — Scott Westerfeld

I think that the Bible as literature should be a compulsory part of the national curriculum.. you can't understand English literature and culture without it. But insofar as theology studies the nature of the divine, it will earn the right to be taken seriously when it provides the slightest, smallest smidgen of a reason for believing in the existence of the divine. Meanwhile, we should devote as much time to studying serious theology as we devote to studying serious fairies and serious unicorns. — Richard Dawkins

Bob," I say, "a man who is no longer interested in the genetics of inbred hillbilly water unicorns is a man who is no longer interested in life. I am afraid for your priorities, son." — T. Kingfisher

What better way to learn about life in the ocean
and how we are changing it
than through stories of blind zombie worms, immortal jellyfish, and unicorns of the sea? The Extreme Life of the Sea is an insightful book that inspires awe and wonder about our ocean, and brilliantly shows us the immense possibilities of life on Earth. — Enric Sala

Ula thought that unicorns might sleep in grassy glades with ferns for covering. In summer they might lie on a lawn. We walked round quietly on hands and feet, shaking imaginary horns. Ula pawed the air looking solemn; she made little humming sounds. Being fond of moonlight it was probable that they sang at night. They would eat rose petals with jam, and a little fruit in the summer months. — Ursula Holden

I know exactly how you feel," Schmendrick said eagerly. The unicorn looked at him out of dark, endless eyes, and he smiled nervously and looked at his hands. "It's a rare man who is taken for what he truly is," he said. "There is much misjudgment in the world. Now I knew you for a unicorn when I first saw you, and I know that I am your friend. Yet you take me for a clown, or a clod, or a betrayer, and so must I be if you see me so. The magic on you is only magic and will vanish as soon as you are free, but the enchantment of error that you put on me I must wear forever in your eyes. We are not always what we seem, and hardly ever what we dream. Still I have read, or heard it sung, that unicorns when time was young, could tell the difference 'twixt the two - the false shining and the true, the lips' laugh and the heart's rue. — Peter S. Beagle

Michelle: Phone. That had to be my phone waking me up. My hand swept across the nightstand until it found the vibrating hunk of silicone. "Hello."
"Michelle, It's Gordon from the Cobb County Sheriff's Office. We need you to deal with some illegally bred magical creatures."
The sound of barking and shouting followed his voice.
"What are they?"
"We don't know. I can tell you what they look like. Henri was one of the responding and he's never heard of these things. I think they're new."
Blech. I rolled out of bed to start getting dressed. Henri was an old vampire. I'm not sure how old. But old enough to take his word on something like this.
"Gordon, tell me what these things look like."
"I'd say someone found the stupidest chihuahua in the city and then did something to give it wings and magic."
"Great! How do I get there?" I wrote down the address and a few directions. "That's the mayor's place, isn't it?
"Yep and he's not happy. — N.E. Conneely

Hey, I like unicorns. Unicorns are just weaponized ponies. — Damon Suede

My mother's idea of natural childbirth was giving birth without makeup. She was hyper-positive - the world is a wonderful place, rainbows and unicorns. If you said anything contrary to her, you were basically exiled. — Robin Williams

Toads are to dragons what carrots are to unicorns. — Ness Kingsley

I'm not the world's greatest expert, but I would have thought that the wizards, witches, trolls, unicorns, ... broomsticks and spells would have given her a clue?' - when J.K. Rowling insisted she wasn't writing fantasy. — Terry Pratchett

Orange Nya Nya Style ...
Orange Nya Nya Style ...
I am an orange,
people think that I'm annoying
Say what you want
'cuz I'm certainly not boring
I hang out in the stables
with a bunch of unicorns
and i ride them into outspace -
honking unihorns!
I hangout with pear
In the kitchen every
we really like it here
We do?
We're having fun times
even squash is here
...
Marshmallow is really happy with his teddy bear -
his evil teddy bear — Annoying Orange

Some people have family crests, lions, tigers, unicorns, elephants - a whole menagerie - and if my family had a crest, you know what would be on it? A blintze. I mean it. All the good things in my life are measured in blintzes because by us it's not a party if there isn't a blintze ... — Gertrude Berg

there's nothing better after a gruelling day of work than to have multiple orgasms. Now, as we all know, most guys aren't capable of giving us MOs and, just quietly, they really should fucking teach that shit in high school Sex Ed. But," she sighed, disappointedly, "they don't, and because it's a skill possessed by the unicorns of the world, we need to have with us - at all times - a BOB. So please, for me, pack your fucking vibrator. — K.M. Golland

Leave it to Bright Side to haunt me from the grave - and instead of it being creepy, it's sunshine and rainbows and fucking unicorns. — Kim Holden

The true secret in being a hero lies in knowing the order of things. The swineherd cannot already be wed to the princess when he embarks on his adventures, nor can the boy knock on the witch's door when she is already away on vacation. The wicked uncle cannot be found out and foiled before he does something wicked. Things must happen when it is time for them to happen. Quests may not simply be abandoned; prophecies may not be left to rot like unpicked fruit; unicorns may go unrescued for a very long time, but not forever. The happy ending cannot come in the middle of the story. — Peter S. Beagle

Eat dirt evil doer! — A.R. Von

You know what you call a herd of unicorns? A blessing. True. — Matthew Quick

He snorted into his radicchio, which I admired because it was a pretty purple. The radicchio was purple, not his snort. Just in case you got confused there. I don't think it's possible for people to snort colors. We're not unicorns, after all. — T.J. Klune

All around Molly there flowed and flowered a light as impossible as snow set afire, while thousands of cloven hooves sang by like cymbals. She stood very still, neither weeping nor laughing, for her joy was too great for her body to understand. — Peter S. Beagle

It was like watching two unicorns fucking," he told her. "All glitter and jizz. — Erin McCarthy

Love doesn't magically turn the bars of their cell into rainbow beams and float them out to freedom on a cloud of unicorns and puppies. — Agatha Bird

You're searching for unicorns among mules. — Sanjay Nigam

A big glowing red dude with the head of a wolf guarded a herd of ... Were those unicorns? — Rick Riordan

Four months ago you refused to believe a place like Croak even existed, and now look at you. All jazzed up and concocting crackpot theories that probably involve a hidden flock of unicorns."
"Or dinosaurs," Lex said with a grin. "Let's not prematurely dismiss a Jurassic Park scenario. — Gina Damico

Of course. I died today, and now I'm going to fight aliens with a light saber. Maybe after that we can look for mermaids. Or unicorns."
"No," he says. "Just aliens."
Was that the barest hint of humour in his tone? — Eve Silver

Lieutenant-Colonel Yorke told me you Torchwood people always take the extreme view. We have a saying in basic training: "If you hear hoof-beats, you look for horses, and not zebras".'

'You don't know the half of it,' Gwen said. 'In my job, if I hear hoof-beats, I expect to see unicorns. — Peter Anghelides

Unicorns are for those who aren't content with the wonders this world holds...not that I've seen any of it. — Jonathan Dunne

Things are different in the fantasy world
Towels are different in the fantasy world
Shows are different in the fantasy world
Dancing's different in the fantasy world
Unicorns No, they're the same
Everything's different in the fantasy world — Noel Fielding

The minute that you bring a unicorn into a story, you know that it's a fairy tale or a fable, because unicorns don't exist as animals. They exist as fantasy creatures. — Gloria Vanderbilt

The creative folks intuitively design what's best for the user, while data folks provide great insights. The true unicorns are those who can go end-to-end designing, building, measuring, analyzing, and iterating with a combination of user intuition and deep analytics. — Matthew Humphreys

In Juan Aldama, Zacatecas, no one had ever seen a "real" Jew before. Certainly not a living one! They were thought to be mythical like unicorns or gremlins or... La Llorona! Kids would poke and curse me. They would feel the top of my head... to see if I was sprouting horns... like Satan... like the Devil. Didn't they know? I was the new Jesus! — Jose N. Harris

My eyes widened in disbelief," Wow,I never took you as a one night stand, player type of guy, Reece."
"No, idiot."Reece snapped. "I mean, I've never even been with a girl. Ever."
And with that, I died and went to happy land, with rainbow unicorns and -
Wait. Hold up.
"But that means that your first kiss..."
I trailed, not being able to believe this.

"Was with you." Reece finished, looking away, shy all of a sudden — Hasti Williams

Children know perfectly well that unicorns aren't real, but they also know that books about unicorns, if they are good books, are true books. — Ursula K. Le Guin

My brain begins to work stuff out, but then kinda half way through, it starts wandering off and it's like ahh, unicorns. — Dougie Poynter

The list of things about which we strictly have to be agnostic doesn't stop at tooth fairies and celestial teapots. It is infinite. If you want to believe in a particular one of them - teapots, unicorns, or tooth fairies, Thor or Yahweh - the onus is on you to say why you believe in it. The onus is not on the rest of us to say why we do not. We who are atheists are also a-fairyists, a-teapotists, and a-unicornists, but we don't have to bother saying so. — Richard Dawkins

Advising the average person to not concern herself with calories but instead to pay attention to hunger triggers and eating foods rick in nutrients
well, it's a wonderful concept. I also love the thought of unicorns jumping over cotton candy rainbows. I'm even considering taking up basketball to see if it makes me taller. Come on already! Suggesting that someone who struggles with his weight does not need to think about calories is as risky as suggesting you not look at price tags the next time you're in the market for a car. — Chalene Johnson

It's kind of strange ... All these so-called myths and fables. Everyone seems to have the same ones. They cross cultures and continents. Everyone has their own versions of unicorns, witches, even the Fates. Now we know why. Because they're real. — Maurissa Guibord

Unicorns, dragons, witches may be creatures conjured up in dreams, but on the page their needs, joys, anguishes, and redemptions should be just as true as those of Madame Bovary or Martin Chuzzlewit. — Alberto Manguel

It's got you thinking - you've never really known anyone who's died of natural causes, have you? Parents and grandparents, plus friends and neighbors and casual lovers, they've all left you too early, and in such ghastly ways. Cancers and violence, accidents and congenital defects, aneurysms of the brain and psyche. You've heard of people who've slipped peacefully away in their sleep, or in their favorite easy chairs, after ripe octogenarian lives, but suspect they must be mythical, in the company of unicorns and mermaids. If you didn't know better, you'd think there was a deliberate methodology behind it all, a gradual pattern of calamity spiraling inward until, at last, you're the only one left to be dealt with. You could be expected to think that, but don't, because you still keep your wits about you, thank god - So to speak. — Brian Hodge

So we spend a few months on the road, looking for the Alcani. And say we find them. Either the Dragon Solstice happens, and we save the world, or it doesn't happen, and we've still found a lost people, and all it cost us was a few months on the road. Besides, we've seen the scars all over Tenjia and Duskland. The burned forests and fields of ash. There aren't enough faeries to bring back the land, not at the rate the dragons are scorching it. I think it makes sense that the unicorns are supposed to be here, protecting the land, somehow. Only an idiot would ignore a disaster she could see with her own eyes, stick her head in the sand, and hope it all works out just fine on its own. — Joseph Robert Lewis

So you're a real person! I always thought you were a legendary figure, like unicorns or Giuseppe Verdi. — Lemony Snicket

For years The National has been labeled as a gloomy kind of rock bandI think mostly because of Matt's deep baritone voice, which even if he is singing about unicorns and butterflies, he just sounds sad most of the time. — Bryce Dessner

He knew what she wanted, and he wanted it, too; he was ready, but not, despite her gorgeousness, with Tiglah. Tiglah was not worth losing his ability to touch a unicorn. — Madeleine L'Engle

I want love without drama, romance without pain. I want intimacy without vulnerability. I want a guarantee. I want something that doesnt exist. Maybe we all do. Maybe we're all chasing unicorns. — Josh James Riebock

But it isn't a rough draft either. The one I turned in several months ago was rough. There were some bad plot holes, some logical inconsistencies, pacing problems, and not nearly enough lesbian unicorns. — Patrick Rothfuss

All of my answers were drawings of armored unicorns. — Laurie Halse Anderson

Every poem is a coat of arms. It must be deciphered. How much blood, how many tears in exchange for these axes, these muzzles, these unicorns, these torches, these towers, these martlets, these seedlings of stars and these fields of blue! — Jean Cocteau

What do men know? Because they have seen no unicorns for a while does not mean we have all vanished. — Peter S. Beagle

How can it be?" she wondered. "I suppose I could understand it if men had simply forgotten unicorns ( ... ) But not to see them at all, to look at them and see something else - what do they look to one another, then? What do trees look like to them, or houses, or real horses, or their own children? — Peter S. Beagle

The bridge will only take you halfway there, to those mysterious lands you long to see. Through gypsy camps and swirling Arab fair, and moonlit woods where unicorns run free. So come and walk awhile with me and share the twisting trails and wondrous worlds I've known. But this bridge will only take you halfway there. The last few steps you have to take alone. — Shel Silverstein

From this it does not of course follow that there are no natural or human rights; it only follows that no one could have known that there were. And this at least raises certain questions. But we do not need to be distracted into answering them, for the truth is plain: there are no such rights, and belief in them is one with belief in witches and in unicorns. — Alasdair MacIntyre

I'm getting pretty tired of unicorns. Could we try to get a regular horse around here for once? — Margaret Stohl

Why hasn't anyone ever told me the prostate was some kind of magical pleasure zone? Are there unicorns and orgasm fairies dancing around in there? — Sarina Bowen

The thing about fantasy - there are certain things you just don't do in fantasy. You don't have sex near unicorns. It's an ironclad rule. It's tacky. — J.K. Rowling

There's no unicorns that pop out the ceiling and no glitter that pops out of my pocket. It's just regular people in the studio doing what we do. — B.J. The Chicago Kid

Ruin, weariness, death, perpetually death, stand grimly to confront the other presence of Elizabethan drama which is life: life compact of frigates, fir trees and ivory, of dolphins and the juice of July flowers, of the milk of unicorns and panthers' breath, of ropes of pearl, brains of peacocks and Cretan wine. — Virginia Woolf

I briefly considered giving the Myerson kids the same lecture I'd given the other first graders on the playground:
Unicorns are man-eating monsters. They don't have wings, they aren't lavender or sparkly, and you could never catch one to ride without its goring you through the sternum. And even if it somehow managed to miss your major arteries - and it never missed - you'd still die from the deadly poison in its horn. But don't worry. My great-great-great-great-great-great-aunt Clothilde killed the last one a hundred and fifty years ago.
Except now I guessed it would be more like a hundred and sixty. How time doth fly in a unicorn-free world. — Diana Peterfreund

Unicorns and rainbows exist because we want them to. — Truth Devour

Grazing around a perfect little stream ahead of them, to their amazement, was a herd of unicorns. They were beautiful: white with silver horns, silver hooves, and silver manes. Conner's — Chris Colfer

And holy. Fucking, Hell.
Charlie was hung.
He had a good ten inches of long, hard cock. It was like learning unicorns were real. — Laura Kaye

A person of faith who shares conservative values and who says very clearly that climate change is real - and here's why we have to care about it - I think that we "unicorns" do pose a threat to people who want to muddy the waters and keep others in the dark. — Katharine Hayhoe