Undertaker Death Quotes & Sayings

Hairwoman is torturing us with essays. Do English teachers spend their vacations dreaming up these things? — Laurie Halse Anderson

Do your best when no one is looking. If you do that, then you can be successful in anything that you put your mind to. — Bob Cousy

The fear of death is far greater than the death itself. But the fear of the unknown is the greatest fear of all! — The Undertaker

The falseness of the seventeenth century became a large measure of the truth by the nineteenth. Money made the man, or at least went a long way toward doing so; and death became the occasion for a final accounting, a stocktaking of worldly success. Of course, there were other metrics: virtue, martyrdom, political standing, fraternal ties. But it took money to publicize them. The funeral became more and more a standardized commodity whose cost could be matched with exquisite precision to the class and degree of 'respectability' of the deceased. When one bought a funeral, one bought a more or less splendid parade, each additional bauble, each horse, each feather or set of nails adding to the base price. Bit by bit, finery accumulated, and by looking at the account books of an undertaker who specialized in pauper funerals, we can begin to see the bounds of decency in death. — Thomas W. Laqueur

Probably the undertaker thinks less of death than almost any other man. He is so accustomed to it that his mind must involuntarily turn from its horror to a contemplation of how much he makes out of the burial. — Clarence Darrow

Gilgamesh said to him, to Utnapishtim the remote,
What can I do, Utnapishtim? Where can I go?
A thief has stolen my flesh.
Death lives in the house where my bed is,
and wherever I set my feet, there Death is. — John Gardner

As for Gussie Finknottle, many an experienced undertaker would have been deceived by his appearance and started embalming on sight. — P.G. Wodehouse

Nobody really wants to be your friend when they discover that you work with dead people. — Rebecca McNutt

Directing a funeral isn't about death at all. Funerals are for the living, not the dead. — Rebecca McNutt

Funeral: a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief by an expenditure that deepens our groans and doubles our tears. — Ambrose Bierce

He loved her, of course, but better than that, he chose her, day after day. Choice: that was the thing. — Sherman Alexie

When forgiveness is necessary, don't wait too long. We must begin to forgive, because without forgiving, we choke off our own joy; we kill our own soul. People carrying hate and resentment can invest themselves so deeply in that resentment that they gradually define themselves in terms of it. — Lewis B. Smedes

What distinguishes art from such undertaker's business is that life's closeness to death is its theme, not its addiction. — W.G. Sebald

Who embalms the Undertaker when he dies? — Alison Bechdel