Uncomedic Quotes & Sayings

Meat is an inefficient way to eat. An acre of land can yield 20,000 pounds of potatoes, but that same acre would only graze enough cows to get 165 pounds of meat. — Alexandra Paul

If neurotic is wanting two mutually exclusive things at one and the same time, then I'm neurotic as hell. I'll be flying back and forth between one mutually exclusive thing and another for the rest of my days. — Sylvia Plath

There are many times where a woman would gladly drop her husband if she did not feel morally certain that some other woman would come right along and pick him up. — Helen Rowland

My favorite artists from comics were early ones like Jack Kirby or Steve Ditko who had a real heavy ink style. Captain America, co created by Jack Kirby, was a favorite of mine and I sometimes use an altered version of his costume on some of my characters. — Marcel Dzama

The audiences are what keep me enthusiastic. — David Copperfield

Sage shifted beneath me. I put one of my hands back into his thick hair and left it there, pretending I needed to hold him. It took all my willpower not to start playing with it.
"I guess you don't do this very often," I told him, my voice cracking slightly.
I couldn't see his face but I could feel him smile. "No. Usually my head's turned the other way around. — Karina Halle

How do you file a restraining order against sadness? — Alex Adams

I'm thinking of a God very different from the God of the Christian and far and away from the God of Islam, because both are depicted as omnipotent Oriental despots, cosmic Saddam Husseins, — Antony Flew

Art - my slats! Guts! Guts! Life! Life! I can paint with a shoe-string dipped in pitch and lard. — George Luks

Hegel seems to me to be always wanting to say that things which look different are really the same. Whereas my interest is in showing that things which look the same are really different. I was thinking of using as a motto for my book a quotation from King Lear: 'I'll teach you differences'.
...
'You'd be surprised' wouldn't be a bad motto either. — Ludwig Wittgenstein

He had let Aunt Peg live in his house and married her, so clearly he had a thing for flaky American types who liked to sneak off in the dead of night. That was, as Ginny remembered it, how America won the Revolution in the first place. The English walked around in bright red coats in straight lines and took breaks for tea, and the Americans snuck around dressed in rags and hid in trees and stole their horses. Or something. Whatever. She had to do this-it was her birthright. It was what George Washington would have wanted. — Maureen Johnson

When students write from experience, they can breathe those specifics into their writing- dialect, odd smells, precise names of plants- that can animate even the most tired and tedious text. — Ralph Fletcher

At bottom, I mean profoundly at bottom, the FBI has nothing to do with Communism, it has nothing to do with catching criminals, it has nothing to do with the Mafia, the syndicate, it has nothing to do with trust-busting, it has nothing to do with interstate commerce, it has nothing to do with anything but serving as a church for the mediocre. A high church for the true mediocre. — Norman Mailer

He looked the boy up and down as if he had never seen a child before and wasn't quite sure what he was supposed to do with one: eat it, ignore it or kick it down the stairs. — John Boyne

The ultimate philosophy of life is not found in words, but it is found in the ways of living life. — Debasish Mridha