Tyrion's Quotes & Sayings

Tyrion stared up at his father's hard green eyes with their flecks of cold bright gold. "Guilty," he said, "so guilty. Is that what you want to hear?"
Lord Tywin said nothing. Mace Tyrell nodded. Prince Oberyn looked mildly disappointed. "You admit you poisoned the king?"
"Nothing of the sort," said Tyrion. "Of Joffrey's death I am innocent. I am guilty of a more monstrous crime." He took a step toward his father. "I was born. I lived. I am guilty of being a dwarf, I confess it. And no matter how many times my good father forgave me, I have persisted in my infamy. — George R R Martin

There were four of them, Catelyn saw. An old man in the black of the Night's Watch, two servants ... and Tyrion Lannister, standing there small and bold as life. "My men will sleep in your stable, and as for myself, well, I do not require a large room, as you can plainly see." He flashed a mocking grin. "So long as the fire's warm and the straw reasonably free of fleas, I am a happy man. — George R R Martin

You are your mother's trueborn son of Lannister."
"Am I?" the dwarf replied, sardonic. "Do tell my lord father. My mother died birthing me, and he's never been sure."
"I don't even know who my mother was," Jon said.
"Some woman, no doubt. Most of them are." He favored Jon with a rueful grin. "Remember this, boy. All dwarfs may be bastards, yet not all bastards need be dwarfs."
And with that he turned and sauntered back into the feast, whistling a tune.
When he opened the door, the light from within threw his shadow clear across the yard, and for just a moment Tyrion Lannister stood tall as a king. — George R R Martin

No". Tyrion's voice was hoarse. "Sansa is no longer yours to torment. Understand that, monster."
Joffrey sneered. "You're the monster, Uncle"
"Am I?" Tyrion cocked his head. "Perhaps you should speak more softly to me, then. Monsters are dangerous beasts, and just now kinds seem to be dying like flies. — George R R Martin

And what lesson can we draw from Volantene history?"
"If you want to conquer the world, you best have dragons. — George R R Martin

He says that it is good luck to rub the head of a dwarf," Haldon said after an exchange with the guard in his own tongue.
Tyrion forced himself to smile at the man. "Tell him that it is even better luck to suck on a dwarf's cock. — George R R Martin

More wine?" Tyrion asked him. "I should not object," Lord Janos said, holding out his cup. He was built like a keg, and had a similar capacity. — George R R Martin

Warn you, Lannister, you'll find no inns at the Wall," he had said, looking down on him. "No doubt you'll find some place to put me," Tyrion had replied. "As you might have noticed, I'm small. — George R R Martin

Perhaps that is the secret. It is not what we do, so much as why we do it. — George R R Martin

Those are brave men," he told Ser Balon in admiration. "Let's go kill them. — George R R Martin

Little redcape," he snarled, "when next you bare steel on Shagga son of Dolf, I will chop off your manhood and roast it in the fire."
"What, no goats?" Tyrion said, taking a bite of his cheese. — George R R Martin

I made no threats, that was a promise. — George R R Martin

One of those was occupied by a dwarf. Clean-shaved and pink-cheeked, with a mop of chestnut hair, a heavy brow, and a squashed nose, he perched on a high stool with a wooden spoon in hand, contemplating a bowl of purplish gruel with red-rimmed eyes. Ugly little bastard, Tyrion thought. The — George R R Martin

As I was saying before we were so rudely interrupted," Tyrion began, "there is a serious flaw in Littlefinger's fable. Whatever you may believe of me, Lady Stark, I promise you this - I never bet against my family. — George R R Martin

Do you think it will truly come to battle between them? If they should come to some accord - "
"They won't," Tyrion said. "They are too different and yet too much alike, and neither could ever stomach the other. — George R R Martin

A fool more foolish than most had once jested that even Lord Tywin's shit was flecked with gold. Some said the man was still alive, deep in the bowels of Casterly Rock. — George R R Martin

Why would you take so much bloody interest in where I put my cock? - Tyrion Lannister — George R R Martin

The dwarf has risen from the dead, Tyrion thought. And look, he's uglier than ever, run tell your friends. — George R R Martin

The city?" Tyrion was lost. "What city would that be?"
"King's Landing. I am sending you to court."
It was the last thing Tyrion Lannister would ever have anticipated. He reached for his wine, considered for a moment as he sipped. "And what am I to do there?"
"Rule," his father said curtly. — George R R Martin

You were small, but far-famed. We were in Oldtown at your birth, and all the city talked of was the monster that had been born to the King's Hand, and what such an omen might foretell for the realm."
"Famine, plague, and war, no doubt." Tyrion gave a sour smile. "It's always famine, plague, and war. Oh, and winter, and the long night that never ends."
"All that," said Prince Oberyn, "and your father's fall as well. Lord Tywin had made himself greater than King Aerys, I heard one begging brother preach, but only a god is meant to stand above a king. You were his curse, a punishment sent by the gods to teach him that he was no better than any other man."
"I try, but he refuses to learn." Tyrion gave a sigh. "But do go on, I pray you. I love a good tale."
"And well you might, since you were said to have one, a stiff curly tail like a swine's. — George R R Martin

Tyrion Lannister: Someone should tell the cooks that turnips isn't a meat. — George R R Martin

Shall I prick my prick as well? — George R R Martin

You are done with whores. The next one I find in your bed, I'll hang." - Tywin Lannister — George R R Martin

Jaime," she said, tugging on his ear, "sweetling, I have known you since you were a babe at Joanna's breast. You smile like Gerion and fight like Tyg, and there's some of Kevan in you, else you would not wear that cloak ... but Tyrion is Tywin's son, not you. — George R R Martin

This is folly, Tyrion,' declared Lord Tywin. 'Speak to the matter at hand. You are not on trial for being a dwarf.
'That is where you err, my lord. I have been on trial for being a dwarf my entire life. — George R R Martin

Tyrion was exceedingly courteous; he offered his sister the choice portions of every dish, and made certain he ate only what she did. Not that he truly thought she'd poison him, but it never hurt to be careful. — George R R Martin

You promised him vengeance as well.' 'I promised him justice.' 'Call it what you will. It still comes down to blood. - Tywin & Tyrion — George R R Martin

Your brother Jaime keeps losing battles. He gave Sansa an angry look, as if it were her fault. He's been taken by the Starks and we've lost Riverrun and now her stupid brother is calling himself a king.
The dwarf smiled crookedly. All sorts of people are calling themselves kings these days. — George R R Martin

Once a man has seen a dragon in flight, let him stay home and tend his garden in content, someone had written once, for this wide world has no greater wonder. Tyrion scratched at his scar and tried to recall the author's name. — George R R Martin

Every touch a lie. I have paid her so much false coin that she half thinks she's rich. — George R R Martin

The Gods give with one hand and take with the other. — George R R Martin

All his life Tyrion had prided himself on his cunning, the only gift the gods had seen fit to give him, and yet this seven-times-damned she-wolf Catelyn Stark had outwitted him at every turn. The — George R R Martin

Tyrion Lannister knew the maps as well as anyone, but a fortnight on the wild track that passed for the kingsroad up here — George R R Martin

Tyrion smiled. "Lord Stannis has sailed from Dragonstone." Cersei bolted to her feet. "And yet you sit there grinning like a harvest-day pumpkin? — George R R Martin

Give me priests who are fat and corrupt and cynical,( ... ) the sort who like to sit on soft satin cushions, nibble sweetmeats, and diddle little boys. It's the ones who believe in gods who make the trouble. (Tyrion) — George R R Martin

I arrived here a King's Hand, riding through the gates at the head of my own sworn men, Tyrion reflected, and I leave like a rat scuttling through the dark, holding hands with a spider. — George R R Martin

Remind me to tell the High Septon," said Tyrion. "If I could pray with my cock, I'd be much more religious." He — George R R Martin

Have you ever considered that too many answers are the same as no answers at all? - Tyrion — George R R Martin

It is real, all of it, he thought, the wars, the intrigues, the great bloody game, and me in the center of it ... me, the dwarf, the monster, the one they scorned and laughed at, but now i hold it all, the power, the city, the girl. this was what i was made for, and gods forgive me, but i do love it ... and her. and her. (tyrion lannister) — George R R Martin

I'm short, not blind," Tyrion said. — George R R Martin

Jaime, sweetling, I have known you since you were a babe at Joanna's breast. You smile like Gerion and fight like Tyg and there's some of Kevan in you, else you would not wear that cloak ... but Tyrion is Tywin's son, not you. I said so once to your father's face, and he would not speak to me for half a year. — George R R Martin

Clegane would grunt from time to time, and once Tyrion heard him mutter a curse, but otherwise he fought in a sullen silence.
Not Oberyn Martell. "You raped her," he called, feinting. "You murdered her," he said, dodging a looping cut from Gregor's greatsword. "You killed her children," he shouted, slamming the spearpoint into the giant's throat, only to have it glance off the thick steel gorget with a screech. — George R R Martin

Tyrion let the eunuch help him mount. "Lord Varys," he said from the saddle, "sometimes I feel as though you are the best friend I have in King's Landing and sometimes I feel you are my worst enemy."
"How odd. I think quite the same of you. — George R R Martin

Drowning was bad enough. But drowning sad and sober, that's too cruel. — George R R Martin

The walls would have shamed any proper castle, and the ornamental iron spikes along the top looked strangely naked without heads to adorn them. Tyrion pictured how his sister's head might look up there, with tar in her golden hair and flies buzzing in and out of her mouth. Yes, and Jaime must have the spike beside her, he decided. No one must ever come between my brother and my sister. — George R R Martin

He dipped the quill into the inkpot, leaned over the first parchment, paused, looked up. "Would you prefer me to sing Yollo or Hugor Hill?"

Brown Ben crinkled up his eyes. "Would you prefer to be returned to Yezzan's heirs or just beheaded?"

The dwarf laughed and signed the parchment, Tyrion of House Lannister. — George R R Martin

I don't have much of an attention span for TV - I nod off during the basketball playoffs - but when I watch 'Game of Thrones' on On Demand, I'm glued to the set. It's mystical and addictive. Tyrion Lannister, that's my man. — Steve Harvey

Tyrion looked pointedly at his right hand. "Why, I have steel in my hand, Ser Allister, although it appears to be a crab fork. Shall we duel?" He hopped up on his chair and began poking at Thorne's chest with the tiny fork. Roars of laughter filled the tower room. Bits of crab flew from the Lord Commander's mouth as he began to gasp and choke. Even his raven joined in, cawing loudly from above the window. "Duel! Duel! Duel! — George R R Martin

That's one way we differ, Jaime and I. He's taller as well, you may have noticed. — George R R Martin

Tyrion, Jon, Dany, Stannis and Melisandre, Davos Seaworth, and all the rest of the characters you love or love to hate will be along next year (I devoutly hope) in A Dance with Dragons, which will focus on events along the Wall and across the sea, just as the present book focused on King's Landing. - George R. R. Martin June 2005 — George R R Martin

Ser Alliser stood up, his mouth a tight line. "Come and make your japes with steel in your hand."
Tyrion looked pointedly at his right hand. "Why, I have steel in my hand, Ser Alliser, although it appears to be a crab fork. Shall we duel?" He hopped up on his chair and began poking at Thorne's chest with a tiny fork. — George R R Martin

How would you like to die, Tyrion son of Tywin?"
"In my own bed, with a belly full of wine and a maiden's mouth around my cock, at the age of eighty," he replied. — George R R Martin

He found Podrick Payne asleep in a chair outside the door of the solar, and shook him by the shoulder. "Summon Bronn, and then tun down to the stables and have two horses saddled." (Tyrion).
The squire's eyes were cloudy with sleep. "Horses". (squire)
"Those big brown animals that love apples, I'm sure you've seen them. Four legs and a tail. But Bronn first." (Tyrion) — George R R Martin

Obviously the highest pressure scene, I guess it might've been a tie - what was the bigger death, Tyrion with Shae, Tyrion wth Twyin, and then Joffrey were all scenes where I wanted to deliver what was in the script married to what fans will be expecting, and it was a lot of pressure and I'm really glad it's over. — Alex Graves

Let me give you some counsel, bastard," Lannister said. "Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armor yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you."
Jon was in no mood for anyone's counsel. "What do you know about being a bastard?"
"All dwarfs are bastards in their father's eyes. — George R R Martin

MEANWHILE, BACK ON THE WALL ... Hey, wait a minute!" some of you may be saying about now. "Wait a minute, wait a minute! Where's Dany and the dragons? Where's Tyrion? We hardly saw Jon Snow. That can't be all of it. ... " Well, no. There's more to come. — George R R Martin

Watch over my brother, you bloody bastard, he's one of yours.
Tyrion praying to the Warrior — George R R Martin

Why is it that when one man builds a wall, the next man immediately needs to know what's on the other side? — George R R Martin

Tyrion Lannister sniggered. That was when Catelyn knew he was hers. "This man came a guest into my house, and there conspired to murder my son, a boy of seven," she proclaimed to the room at large, pointing. Ser Rodrik moved to her side, his sword in hand. "In the name of King Robert and the good lords you serve, I call upon you to seize him and help me return him to Winterfell to await the king's justice."
She did not know what was more satisfying: the sound of a dozen swords drawn as one or the look on Tyrion Lannister's face. — George R R Martin

How could I not love him, after that? That is not to say that I approved of all he did, or much enjoyed the company of the man that he became ... but every little girl needs a big brother to protect her. Tywin was big even when he was little." She gave a sigh. "Who will protect us now?"
Jaime kissed her cheek. "He left a son."
"Aye, he did. That is what I fear the most, in truth."
That was a queer remark. "Why should you fear?"
"Jaime," she said, tugging on his ear, "sweetling, I have known you since you were a babe at Joanna's breast. You smile like Gerion and fight like Tyg, and there's some of Kevan in you, else you would not wear that cloak ... but Tyrion is Tywin's son, not you. I said so once to your father's face, and he would not speak to me for half a year. Men are such thundering great fools. Even the sort who come along once in a thousand years. — George R R Martin

Bronn himself, who'd only smiled that insolent dark smile of his and afterward said, "They'll kill for that knighthood, but don't ever think they'll die for it."
Tyrion had no such delusion. — George R R Martin

... When you've know me longer, you'll learn that I mean everything I say."
"Even the lies?"
"Especially the lies. Lord Petyr ... — George R R Martin

I'm short not blind — George R R Martin

It was bitingly cold up here,and the wind pulled at his clothes like an insistent lover. — George R R Martin

She has the blood of a wolf," said Joffrey. "And you have the wits of a goose," said Tyrion. — George R R Martin

As you say," Tyrion grinned. "If I were Volantene, and free, and had the blood, you'd have my vote for triarch, my lady."
"I am no lady," the widow replied, "just Vogarro's whore. You want to be gone from here before the tigers come. Should you reach your queen, give her a message from the slaves of Old Volantis." She touched the faded scar upon her wrinkled cheek, where her tears had been cut away. "Tell her we are waiting. Tell her to come soon. — George R R Martin

At night Tyrion would oft hear her praying. A waste of words. If there are gods to listen, they are monstrous gods who torment us for their sport. Who else would make a world like this, so full of bondage, blood, and pain? — George R R Martin

You look very elegant today, my lord."
"I'm wounded. I strive to look elegant every day." - Tyrion & Littlefinger — George R R Martin

Joffrey received loving kisses from the bride's father and his two new brothers, Loras and Garlan. No one seemed in any great rush to kiss Tyrion. When the king and queen had taken their seats, the High Septon rose to lead a prayer. — George R R Martin

No man threatens His Grace in the presence of the Kingsguard."
Tyrion Lannister raised an eyebrow. "I am not threatening the king, ser, I am educating my nephew. Bronn, Timett, the next time Ser Boros opens his mouth, kill him." The dwarf smiled.
"Now that was a threat, ser. See the difference? — George R R Martin

Tyrion seated himself and took a sip of wine. If a man paints a target on his chest, he should expect that sooner or later someone will loose an arrow at him. I have seen dead men with more humor than your Ser Alliser. — George R R Martin

Ofttimes a very small man can cast a very large shadow.
Tyrion smiled. Lord Varys, I am growing strangely fond of you. I may kill you yet, but I think I'd feel sad about it.
I will take that as high praise. — George R R Martin

If I am ever Hand again, the first thing I'll do is hang all the singers, said Tyrion, too loudly. — George R R Martin

I spent a lot of time [between takes] apologising to Peter Dinklage [Dance's on-screen son, Tyrion Lannister] because I treat him appallingly. — Charles Dance

Tyrion: Careful now, Shagga, you've cut him.
Shagga: Dolf fathered warriors, not barbers. — George R R Martin

Varys appeared not long after Lord Jacelyn had left. "Men are such faithless creatures," he said by way of greeting. Tyrion sighed. "Who's the traitor today?" The eunuch handed him a scroll. "So much villainy, it sings a sad song for our age. Did honor die with your fathers? — George R R Martin

Learn to use yours ears more and your mouth less, or your reign will be shorter than I am. — George R R Martin

How I have yearned for the sound of your sweet voice," Tyrion sighed to her. "How I have yearned to have that eunuch's tongue pulled out with hot pincers," Cersei replied. — George R R Martin

None taken, Ser Jaremy. My father is very fond of spiked heads, especially those of people who have annoyed him in some fashion. And a face as noble as yours, well, no doubt he saw you decorating the city wall above King's Gate. I think you would have looked very striking up there. — George R R Martin

Remember this, boy. All dwarfs may be bastards, yet not all bastards need be dwarfs — George R R Martin

I am loyal to my beloved Joffrey. (Sansa)
No doubt. As loyal as a deer surrounded by wolves. (Tyrion)
Lions, she whispered without thinking. — George R R Martin

His companion was older, clean-shaved, with a lined ascetic face. His hair had been pulled back and tied in a knot behind his head. "Small men oft feel a need to prove their courage with unseemly boasts," he declared. "I doubt if he could kill a duck." Tyrion shrugged. "Fetch the duck." "If you insist." The rider glanced at his companion. The brawny man unsheathed a bastard sword. "I'm Duck, you mouthy little pisspot." Oh, gods be good. "I had a smaller duck in mind." The big man roared with laughter. "Did you hear, Haldon? He wants a smaller Duck! — George R R Martin

I am a knight - " "So I've noted. Tell me - did Cersei have you knighted before or after she took you into her bed?" The flicker in Lancel's green eyes was all the admission Tyrion needed. So Varys told it true. Well, no one can ever claim that my sister does not love her family. — George R R Martin

I loved a maid fair as summer, with sunlight in her hair. — George R R Martin

One of your northmen hit me with a morningstar during the battle on the Green Fork. I escaped him by falling off my horse. (Tyrion) — George R R Martin

I have a tender spot in my heart for cripples, bastards and broken things. — George R R Martin

The dwarf has played her like a set of pipes, and she is too deaf to hear the tune. — George R R Martin

The gold of a lowland lord is as worthless as a half man's promises' Gunthor said.
'Half a man I may be' Tyrion said. 'Yet I have the courage to face my enemies. What do the Stone Crows do, but hide behind rocks and shiver with fear as the knights of the Vale ride by? — George R R Martin

The battle fever. He had never thought to experience it himself, though Jamie had told him of it often enough. How time seemed to blur and slow and evenstop, how the past and the future vanished until there was nothing but the instant, how fear fled, and thought fled, and even you body. "You don't feel your wounds then, or the ache in your back from the weight of the armor, or the sweat running down into your eyes. You stop feeling you stop thinking, you stop being you, there is only the fight , the foe, this man and then the next and the next and the next, and you know they are afraid and tired but you're not, you're alive, and death is all around you but their swords move so slowly, you can dance through them laughing." Battle fever. I am half a man and drunk with slaughter, let them kill me if they can! — George R R Martin

Some say knowledge is power. Some tell us that all power comes from the gods. Others say it derives from law. Yet that day on the steps of Baelor's Sept, our godly High Septon and the lawful Queen Regent and your ever-so-knowledgeable servant were as powerless as any cobbler or cooper in the crowd. Who truly killed Eddard Stark, do you think? Joffrey, who gave the command? Ser Ilyn Payne, who swung the sword? Or ... another?"
Tyrion cocked his head sideways. "Did you mean to answer your damned riddle, or only to make my head ache worse?"
Varys smiled. "Here, then. Power resides where men believe it resides. No more and no less."
"So power is a mummer's trick?"
"A shadow on the wall," Varys murmured, "yet shadows can kill. And ofttimes a very small man can cast a very large shadow."
Tyrion smiled. "Lord Varyls, I am growing strangely fond of you. I may kill you yet, but I think I'd feel sad about it. — George R R Martin

Less reliable tales also reached his ears, of a dwarf witch who haunted a hill in the riverlands, and a dwarf whore in King's Landing renowned for coupling with dogs. His own sweet sister had told him of the last, even offering to find him a bitch in heat if he cared to try it out. When he asked politely if she were referring to herself, Cersei had thrown a cup of wine in his face. — George R R Martin

My brother has his sword, King Robert has his warhammer and I have my mind ... and a mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone if it is to keep its edge. That's why I read so much Jon Snow. — George R R Martin

A wise man did not pour wildfire on a brazier. Instead he poured a fresh cup of wine. — George R R Martin

If I could pray with my cock, I'd be much more religious — George R R Martin

Oh, I think that Lord Tyrion is quite a large man," Maester Aemon said from the far end of the table. He spoke softly, yet the high officers of the Night's Watch all fell quiet, the better to hear what the ancient had to say. "I think he is a giant come among us, here at the end of the world." Tyrion answered gently, "I've been called many things, my lord, but giant is seldom one of them." "Nonetheless," Maester Aemon said as his clouded, milk-white eyes moved to Tyrion's face, "I think it is true." For once, Tyrion Lannister found himself at a loss for words. He could only bow his head politely and say, "You are too kind, Maester Aemon." The blind man smiled. He was a tiny thing, wrinkled and hairless, shrunken beneath the weight of a hundred years so his maester's collar with its links of many metals hung loose about his throat. "I have been called many things, my lord," he said, "but kind is seldom one of them." This time Tyrion himself led the laughter. — George R R Martin

Don't call me Lord Snow."
The dwarf lifted an eyebrow. "Would you rather be called the Imp? Let them see that their words can cut you and you'll never be free of the mockery. If they want to give you a name take it make it your own. Then they can't hurt you with it anymore. — George R R Martin

Noseless and Handless, the Lannister Boys. — George R R Martin

Tyrion felt a pang of rage. "You fucking son of a pox-ridden ass," he spat. "I hope you die of a bloody flux. — George R R Martin

The Lord of Winterfell would always be a Stark — George R R Martin

Shaga: How would you like to die, little man?
Tyrion: In my bed, at the age of eighty with a belly full of wine and a woman's mouth around my cock. — George R R Martin