Twin Humour Quotes & Sayings

Parent-Teacher Conference
At the parent-teacher conference,
my father made a scene.
He scared my fifth-grade teacher,
with his mask from Halloween.
She showed him all my science grades
and said she was concerned,
but he just stuck his tongue out
when my teacher's back was turned.
He drew a monster on the board
and claimed it was her twin.
He even shook her soda,
which expolded on her chin.
My angry teacher crossed her arms
and said, This meeting's done!
I now see where he gets it from
you act just like your son! — Darren Sardelli

His rapier was at his belt, glittering as he swung. He reached down, ripped the sword clear.
I jumped over a slashing frond of plasm, spun round with the water bottle in my hand. I hurled it across to Lockwood.
George threw his rapier to me.
Watch this now. Sword and bottle, sailing through the air, twin trajectories, arching beautifully through the mass of swirling tendrils towards Lockwood and me. Lockwood held out his hand. I held out mine.
Remember I said there was that moment of sweet precision when we gelled perfectly as a team?
Yeah, well. This wasn't it.
The rapier shot past, missing me by miles. It skidded halfway across the floor. The bottle struck Lockwood plumb in the centre of his forehead, knocking him through the window.
There was a moment's pause.
'Is he dead?' the skulls voice said 'Yay! Oh. No, he's hanging onto the shutters. Shame. Still, this is defiantly the funniest thing I've ever seen. You three really are incompetence on a stick — Jonathan Stroud

So," I (Percy) said glumly. "We're going to get a ride from your brother, huh?"
Artemis's silver eyes gleamed. "Yes, boy. You see, Bianca di Angelo is not the only one with
an annoying brother. It's time for you to meet my irresponsible twin, Apollo. — Rick Riordan

On the British Royal Divorce (Charles and Dianna). She is such a sad soul. It is good that it is over. Nobody was happy anyhow. I know I should preach family love and unity, but in their case ... — Mother Teresa

But sometimes shame is a more powerful engine than rage. Like rage, it burns hot; and like rage it tends to consume its own furnace. — Jonathan Maberry

Never put anyone out of your heart ... — Neem Karoli Baba

It's the fear of the unknown that we're both wrapped up in. — Colleen Hoover

Political realism believes that politics, like society in general, is governed by objective laws that have their roots in human nature. In order to improve society it is first necessary to understand the laws by which society lives. The operation of these laws being impervious to our preferences, men will challenge them only at the risk of failure.
Realism, believing as it does in the objectivity of the laws of politics, must also believe in the possibility of developing a rational theory that reflects, however imperfectly and one-sidedly, these objective laws. It believes also, then, in the possibility of distinguishing in politics between truth and opinion - between what is true objectively and rationally, supported by evidence and illuminated by reason, and what is only a subjective judgment, divorced from the facts as they are and informed by prejudice and wishful thinking. — Hans J. Morgenthau

Humor is probably species specific — Anna C. Salter