Twin Humor Quotes & Sayings

It was a good thing to be an African. There were terrible things that happened in Africa, things that brought shame and despair when one thought about them, but that was not all there was in Africa. However great the suffering of the people of Africa, however harrowing the cruelty and chaos brought about by soldiers - small boys with guns, really - there was still so much in Africa from which one could take real pride. There was the kindness, for example, and the ability to smile, and the art and the music. — Alexander McCall Smith

What is good? All that heightens the feeling of power, the will to power, power itself. What is bad? All that is born of weakness. What is happiness? The feeling that power is growing, that resistance is overcome. — Friedrich Nietzsche

Falling in love is different for everyone. — Michael R. French

I make the modest proposal that psychiatric care should be as easy to get as bullets at Wal-Mart. — Andy Borowitz

A man says to his mate: "My wife is a twin." His mate says, "How do you tell them apart?" The man says: "Her brother has a beard." — Frank Carson

Phillip has enough to worry about. He doesn't have time to have his heart broken by my man-eating twin," Piper teased.
Reese faked a hurt look as she said, "Hey, I make sure they're satisfied before I feed! — Toni Aleo

His rapier was at his belt, glittering as he swung. He reached down, ripped the sword clear.
I jumped over a slashing frond of plasm, spun round with the water bottle in my hand. I hurled it across to Lockwood.
George threw his rapier to me.
Watch this now. Sword and bottle, sailing through the air, twin trajectories, arching beautifully through the mass of swirling tendrils towards Lockwood and me. Lockwood held out his hand. I held out mine.
Remember I said there was that moment of sweet precision when we gelled perfectly as a team?
Yeah, well. This wasn't it.
The rapier shot past, missing me by miles. It skidded halfway across the floor. The bottle struck Lockwood plumb in the centre of his forehead, knocking him through the window.
There was a moment's pause.
'Is he dead?' the skulls voice said 'Yay! Oh. No, he's hanging onto the shutters. Shame. Still, this is defiantly the funniest thing I've ever seen. You three really are incompetence on a stick — Jonathan Stroud

Can't stay long, Mother," he said. "I'm up front, the prefects have got two compartments to themselves-"
"Oh, are you a prefect, Percy?" said one of the twins, with an air of great surprise. "You should have said something, we had no idea."
"Hang on, I think I remember him saying something about it," said the other twin. "Once-"
"Or twice-"
"A minute-"
"All summer-"
"Oh, shut up," said Percy the Prefect. — J.K. Rowling

Of course he was afraid of war. Only fools are not. Anaxantis was no fool. He was fully prepared to fight, but only as a last resort. — Andrew Ashling

They headed back into the maze of gardens. The shrubberies seemed to crawl. Victoria ignored them, pushing past thorns and brambles and suspiciously roachlike leaves, concentrating not on them but on the pinching grip of Lawrence's fingers. Hmm, she thought. I suppose this is actually somewhat useful. She didn't so much mind holding his hand from that moment on. — Claire Legrand

Ghetto humor is the social twin of fantasy; together they sustain the powerless, who accomplish miracles through illusion. — Sheila Ballantyne

When something terrible happens, how you react determines who you are from then on. — Lisa Kleypas

Reincarnation is a process in which a finite being will go through a series of transmutations and will perceive different things. There will be a continuity of perception. — Frederick Lenz

I have a Siamese twin cat. It's got 2 heads and 18 lives. — M.J. McGuire

When I was a boy, I laid in my twin-sized bed and wondered where my brother was. — Mitch Hedberg

Marcus: Cherry?
Jillian: My ten-year-old niece.
Marcus: She's named after a piece of fruit?
Jillian nodded.
Jillian: So is her twin sister, Apple.
Marcus: You're kidding me.
Jillian: Unfortunately, I'm serious. Their father is fond of fruit pies and thought it would be cute.
Marcus: And their mother didn't protest?
Jillian: She thinks Steven's cute, so she gives him whatever he wants. — Gena Showalter

There is not a single true chess-player in the world whose heart does not beat faster at the mere sound of such long beloved and familiar words as 'gambit games'. — David Bronstein

Aelin's hand wavered slightly over his wound. "What's your shield made of, then?"
Fenrys tried and failed to shrug. But Gavriel muttered from where he worked on the still-whimpering pirate, "Arrogance."
Aelin snorted, but didn't dare take her eyes off Fenrys's injury as she said, "So you do have sense of humor, Gavriel."
The Lion of Doranelle gave a wary smile over his shoulder. The rare-sighted, restrained twin to Aedion's own flashing grins. Aelin had called him Uncle Kitty-Cat all of one time before Aedion had snarled viciously enough to make her think carefully before using the term again. Gavriel, to his credit, had merely given Aelin a long-suffereing sigh that seemed to be used only when she or Fenrys were around.
"That sense of humor only appears about once every century," Fenrys rasped, "so you'd better hope you Settle, or else that's the last time you'll see it. — Sarah J. Maas

It is impossible to have a Jewish, democratic state and at the same time to control all of Eretz Israel. If we insist on fulfilling the dream in its entirety, we are liable to lose it all. Everything. That is where the extremist path takes us. — Ariel Sharon

I didn't study acting. — Ray Walston

Well,' I said. 'I could strip off my clothes and reveal to you that under my jeans and sweatshirt I'm actually wearing a tank top and short-shorts, much like Lara Croft from Tomb Raider ... only mine are flame-retardant and covered in glow-in-the-dark dinosaur stickers.'
No one stirred. Not even Christopher, who actually has a thing for Lara Croft.
'I know what you're thinking,' I went on. 'Glow-in-the-dark dinosaur stickers are so last year. But I think they add a certain je ne sais quoi to the whole ensemble. It's true, short-shorts are uncomfortable under jeans and hard to get off in the ladies' room, but they make the twin thigh-holsters in which I hold my high-caliber pistols so easy to get to ... '
The oven timer dinged.
'Thank you, Em,' Mr. Greer said, yawning. 'That was very persuasive. — Meg Cabot

Bradley shook his head in amusement, For twins, you and your brother are nothing alike. I used to wonder what it would be like to have a twin, but now ... No offense, but I'm rather glad I came by myself. — Nicole Sager

What about human beings? said the animals. Do you
think we need human beings?
Why not? said the Twins. And as quick as they could the
right-handed Twin created women, and the left-handed
Twin created men.
They don't look too bright, said the animals. We hope
they won't be a problem.
Don't worry, said the Twins, you guys are going to get
along just fine. — Thomas King

Arthur and Fred - "
"I'm George," said the twin at whom Moody was pointing. "Can't you even tell us apart when we're Harry?"
"Sorry, George - "
"I'm only yanking your wand, I'm Fred really - — J.K. Rowling

No one has ever loved anyone the way everyone wants to be loved. — Mignon McLaughlin

I am a child of God, and therefore I do not inherit sickness. — Myrtle Fillmore

I called my mother immediately to inform her that she was a bad parent. "I can't believe you let us watch this. We ate dinner in front of this."
"Everyone watched Twin Peaks," was her response.
"So, if everyone jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge, would you do it, too?"
"Don't be silly," she laughed, "of course I would, honey. There'd be no one left on the planet. It would be a very lonely place. — Sloane Crosley

There's never a beginning for eternity. — Toba Beta

But I gotta tell yeh, I thought you two'd value yer friend more'n broomsticks or rats. Tha's all. — J.K. Rowling