Twelve Chairs Ostap Bender Quotes & Sayings

What an unfair advantage the dead had over the living, for there could be no rebuttal, no denial, nothing but the accusing silence of the grave. — Sharon Kay Penman

Let God have you, and let God love you - and don't be surprised if your heart begins to hear music you've never heard and your feet learn to dance as never before. — Max Lucado

Whereas Jeremy is just the opposite: always moving because he's never really thinking of anything and the kind of guy you'd worry inviting to a dinner party because he says what he thinks. He can be insulting at times but doesn't mean to be. — Jason Schwartzman

There are varieties of life unknown to you.
Their whole identity is: you can't find out. — Dan Chiasson

Not too many people can afford for the wife to stay home and raise the kids. — Eric Braeden

Betrayal is an ironic thing. He or she betrays you then you betray yourself. You think you're showing strength with your anger, but in reality you're showing how much you still care. — Shannon L. Alder

Life is so short. Forgetting is so long — Pablo Neruda

When you get a hankering to talk or complain about what you gave up for Lent, replace that hankering by speaking the word of God. For all the times you would have done the activity that you gave up for Lent, replace it by reading the word of God. Christians should always be drawing closer to God. — Monica Johnson

There are two more turds, smaller ones, and when he has eaten these, residual shit to lick out of her anus. He prays that she'll let him drop the cape over himself, to be allowed, in the silk-lined darkness, to stay a while longer with his submissive tongue straining upward into her asshole. But she moves away. The fur evaporates from his hands. She orders him to masturbate for her. She has watched Captain Blicero with Gottfried, and has learned the proper style. — Thomas Pynchon

Jesus Christ, it's like living with Stevie bloody Nicks,' I said, 'only without the cocaine, which would be more fun. — Emily Perkins