Twain Congress Quotes & Sayings

And now the minister prayed. A good, generous prayer it was, and went into details: it pleaded for the church, and the little children of the church; for the other churches of the village; for the village itself; for the county; for the State; for the State officers; for the United States; for the churches of the United States; for Congress; for the President; for the officers of the Government; for poor sailors, tossed by stormy seas; for the oppressed millions groaning under the heel of European monarchies and Oriental despotisms; for such as have the light and the good tidings, and yet have not eyes to see nor ears to hear withal; for the heathen in the far islands of the sea; and closed with a supplication that the words he was about to speak might find grace and favor, and be as seed sown in fertile ground, yielding in time a grateful harvest of good. Amen. — Mark Twain

Congressman is the trivialist distinction for a full grown man. — Mark Twain

When congress is in session no American is safe. — Mark Twain

There is no distinctly native American criminal class save Congress. — Mark Twain

I could be an idiot, or I can serve in Congress, but I repeat myself. — Mark Twain

Suppose ... burglars had made entry into this ... [library]. Picture them seated here on this floor, pouring the light of their dark-lanterns over some books they found, and thus absorbing moral truths and getting moral uplift. The whole course of their lives would have been changed. As it was, they kept straight on in their immoral way and were sent to jail. For all I know, they may next be sent to Congress. — Mark Twain

Congress: America's only true criminal class. — Mark Twain

Why do I keep performing at my age? What else am I going to do? Play golf? I tried that years ago and all I did was cuss. I can do that without the walk, cuss at Congress and let [Mark]Twain do it. "Imagine that you were an idiot. And then imagine that you were a member of Congress. Wait - I've repeated myself." — Hal Holbrook

It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress. — Mark Twain

[Mark] Twain called Congress "the only distinctly native criminal class in America. We've lately sent a United States Senator to the penitentiary." That was a fact. — Hal Holbrook

Our lives, our liberty, and our property are never in greater danger than when Congress is in session. — Mark Twain

Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself. — Mark Twain

Congress - that great, benevolent asylum for the helpless — Mark Twain