Tuesday Morning Funny Quotes & Sayings

You were perfect. — Maya Banks

You know, I looked at my face in the mirror this morning, and I like being old. My face has more content and when I train in the gym now, I am not training to be strong or handsome - just better than I was yesterday. These days the race is just against myself. — Jean-Claude Van Damme

I'm a short woman with a pretty good body and large breasts - that's not what I think of as sexy. — Adrienne Barbeau

Just thought you should know," she said, winking. "Can I tell them to piss off?"
"Oh sure," Jeth said, not nearly as amused by the situation as she was. "Just be polite about it."
Lizzie grinned and said into the comm, "This is the Montrose. The captain says piss off. Politely. — Mindee Arnett

My grandfather was a duck trapper
He could do it with just dragnets and ropes
My grandmother could sew new dresses out of old cloth
I don't know if they had any dreams or hopes
I had 'em once though, I suppose, to go along
With all the ring-dancin' Christmas carols on all of the Christmas eves
I left all my dreams and hopes
Buried under tobacco leaves — Bob Dylan

Sounds come/ to the ear,// transformed. — Ronald Johnson

I enjoy being surprised. — Aldis Hodge

Strangely enough I like the kind to which I belong: people. — Heinrich Boll

Wanting her mind off the one subject that held the potential to destroy the bond between them. If she ran, he hoped she would do as he'd asked and make sure she didn't leave him alive. Because without Sahara, the world would learn what a child became when his trainer wove nightmares into his mind - of knives slicing into flesh, of women begging for their lives - then put the blade into his hand. — Nalini Singh

I feel for you man. Put a ring on it and bam, the legs slam shut. — Sylvia Day

I know no place at which an Englishman may drop down suddenly among a pleasanter circle of acquaintance, or find himself with a more clever set of men, than he can do at Boston. — Anthony Trollope

When my girlfriend cooks dinner, I'm happy to do the dishes. Because I make her wash dishes when I take her to a restaurant. — Anthony Jeselnik