Tsa Quotes & Sayings

TSA serves as the operator, administrator and regulator for the nation's transportation security. But in fact, the TSA bureaucracy does all it can to thwart any conversion to a system with more private-sector operations and strong federal oversight and standards. This agency cannot, and should not, do it all. — John Mica

It would be unwise to say the least, irresponsible of us at the TSA, at the Homeland Security Department not to evolve our technology to match the changing threat environment that we inhabit. — Janet Napolitano

The TSA's airport body scanners have been shown to be so ineffective, the Homeland Security chairman suggested using traditional metal detectors. While LaGuardia will continue to just have a scarecrow dressed as a cop. — Jimmy Fallon

I did learn something interesting [while at the Atlanta airport]. You have to be a member of the TSA in order to legally perform a cavity search. My apologies to the staff of Cinnabon, but you guys should really keep that extra frosting where the customers can find it. — Stephen Colbert

What is your preference?" She felt nearly sick asking this question.
"My preference is to pack you in my suitcase,but those TSA people are so picky,and there's some kind of stupid regulation about human trafficing and-"
"Justin. This is serious. — Jessica Park

Domestic airplanes are basically designed to keep people seated, settled, and sedated for the duration of flight. If they could, they would install catheters in the seats and strap the people down from takeoff until landing. International flights are a little different, due to the part where sometimes people's veins explode if they sit still in a pressurized cabin for too long. (This may be a small exaggeration - emphasis on "small," not "exaggeration." Deep vein thrombosis is the silent killer of the long-haul flight.) To combat this, international carriers often encourage people to get up, move around, and keep their blood circulating normally. Sure, it means the aisles get a little crowded from time to time, and it makes the TSA nervous, but better that than a bunch of dead passengers. — Seanan McGuire

Zane heard Ty whuff from within the bathroom, and by the time he looked back, Ty had shoved Julian's face against the shower wall and was holding him there by the back of his head.
"Watch the elbows."
"Watch your fingers," Julian snapped.
"Welcome to TSA training, bitch."
"Want the other set of cuffs?" Zane asked, hoping to appease his cranky partner. "You could spread his arms out."
"Will someone please tell me the safe word?" Julian asked. — Abigail Roux

The Department of Homeland Security is a strategic feel good measure. It's going to be the Department of Agriculture for the 21st century. TSA - thousands standing around. — Thomas P.M. Barnett

Getting frisked by the TSA guy would have been more fun if he'd looked like Charlie Hunnam, but then again, everything would be more fun with Charlie. — Kristen Proby

Bridget adds, "Did Anyone bring a weapon?"
"Confiscated," Zach admits for both of us.
Vesper holds up her metal fingernail file. "They didn't take this."
We're dealing with the forces of evil," I point out. "Not the TSA. — Cynthia Leitich Smith

I want to improve TSA's counterterrorism focus through intelligence and cutting edge technology, support the TSA workforce, and strengthen the agency's relationships with stakeholders and the traveling public. All of these priorities are interconnected and are vital to TSA's mission - and I would say, all of our collective mission. — John Pistole

We're not trying to harass the average American. We need to convert this now to a risk-based system, with TSA concentrating and focusing on intelligence, on security, setting up again the parameters of which we do this. — John Mica

Under the Obama administration, TSA has been operating without an administrator for a year and a half. After the president's first two choices failed to meet expectations, a new administrator, John Pistole, was finally approved on Friday. Unfortunately, it will be the fifth administrator in eight years. — John Mica

They swore at airport management, at the TSA, at the airlines, at their useless phones, furious because fury was the last defense against understanding what the news stations were reporting. — Emily St. John Mandel

Believe in yourself, Zoey Redbird. I have Marked you as my own. You will be my first true U-we-tsi a-ge-hu-tsa v-hna-i Sv-no-yi . . . Daughter of Night . . . in this age. You are special. Accept that about yourself, and you will begin to understand there is true power in your uniqueness. Within you is combined the magic blood of ancient Wise Women and Elders, as well as insight into and understanding of the modern world. The — P.C. Cast

The TSA tears through your bags at the airport and the NSA watches what books you buy and what you say over the telephone and online. It doesn't feel like anything is private anymore. — Sandra Cisneros

We've done it in intelligence sharing and certain elements of security. There were parts of the department, in fact, that worked very well in Katrina, like the Coast Guard and TSA. — Michael Chertoff

Other countries, such as Israel, successfully employ behavior detection techniques at their airports, but the bloated, ineffective bureaucracy of TSA has produced another security failure for U.S. transportation systems. — John Mica

Or the woman in front of me in the security line who asked if they would put her cat, Dave, through the luggage X-ray machine because she wanted to see if he'd eaten a necklace. — Jenny Lawson

What we're going to do is try to get TSA out of the human resources and personnel business and into the security business to connect the dots. — John Mica

I saw a fellow in a Don't Tread on Me T-shirt the other day. He was at LaGuardia and he was being trod all over, by the obergropinfuhrers of the TSA, who had decided to subject him to one of their enhanced pat-downs. There are few sights more dismal than that of a law-abiding citizen having his genitalia pawed by state commissars, but having them pawed while wearing a Don't Tread on Me T-shirt is certainly one of them. — Mark Steyn

Every time I travel, government TSA officials seem to recognize that I'm a Muslim and 'randomly' pull me aside for 'special treatment'. My sincere hope and prayer is that, on the Day of Judgment, my Lord's angels also recognize me as a Muslim and pull me aside for special treatment — Abu Ammaar Yasir Qadhi

The TSA holds its screener work force to the highest standards of security and professionalism, .. and will continue to focus on these principles as critical elements in the ongoing effort to provide the traveling public with world-class security and world-class customer service. — Robert Johnson

skin tone, the TSA might give him a hard time. It — Nicole Dweck

As I examine the exhibits of intercepted letters in files that never reached people, I try to decide if it is better or worse, the way Americans are spied on now. I remember the film The Lives of Others, about the Stasi agent who falls in love with the woman he's eavesdropping on, and recast it into the present, inside the American TSA complex. My fictional TSA agent reading his beloved's emails, listening to phone calls. — Anonymous

When the TSA was established, it was never envisioned that it would become a huge, unwieldy bureaucracy which was soon to grow to 67,000 employees. As TSA has grown larger, more impersonal, and administratively top-heavy, I believe it is important that airports across the country consider utilizing the opt-out provision provided by law. — John Mica

Everything TSA does is reactionary - first they ban the box cutters, then of course you have to take your shoes off, then you have to take the liquids out, now we have to be patted down in our private areas because of the diaper bomber. — John Mica

Over the last several years, I've passed defunding Planned Parenthood, the sonogram bill, voter ID. I passed the TSA anti-groping bill, sanctuary cities, loser pay, border security, and the toughest Jessica's law in the entire nation against sexual predators. — David Dewhurst

I want to take TSA to the next level. — John Pistole

I love trains. It's the only way to travel anymore where it doesn't involve a TSA agent slowly tracing the curve of my inner thigh. — Bill Maher

I just heard about a woman in Germany who just gave birth to a baby boy named "Jihad." Or as the TSA put it, "Hope you like Amtrak! — Jimmy Fallon

Her head practically swiveled, and her laser-beam stare honed in on Ryan, thoroughly scrutinizing him. He'd felt less violated after a TSA strip search. — Tracy Brogan

How did the American people ever reach this point where they believe that US aggression in the Middle East will make us safe when it does the opposite? How did the American people ever reach the point where they believe that fighting unconstitutional wars is required to protect our freedoms and our Constitution? Why do we allow the NSA, CIA, FBI, TSA, etc. to destroy our liberty at home, as part of the Global War on Terror, with a pretext that they are preserving our liberty? Why are the lying politicians reelected and allowed to bankrupt our country, destroy our money, and enter wars without the proper consent? Why do the American people suffer in silence and not scream "Enough is enough!"? We've had enough of the "humanitarian do-gooders" and the proponents of "American exceptionalism" who give us nothing but war, economic suffering, and less freedom. This can and must be stopped. — Ron Paul

The TSA must think we're mushrooms. You know, the way they are trying to keep us in the dark, and the way they keep feeding us a fertilizing agent that comes from the south end of a north-bound cow. — Douglas Wilson

TSA needs to be totally changed. I would like them to be privatized. — Paul Broun

A smile can save a life. Did you know that there's scientific evidence that smiling can boost your immune system and help you live a longer and happier life, not to mention that it makes the people around you happier too because smiling is contagious? There was a time I was going through security at an airport and out of nowhere a TSA agent smiled at me, and it changed my entire day. When you make someone else's day brighter, it makes your day better too. Goal: Smile often - you never know whose day you will brighten. You never know the impact one smile will have on someone's life. — Demi Lovato

We have got to protect privacy rights. We have got to protect our God-given, constitutionally protected civil liberties, and we are not doing that in the federal government. The Department of Homeland Security, as well as the TSA, is a great culprit in being a Gestapo-type organization. — Paul Broun

The police state We now have well over 100,000 domestic federal law enforcement agents armed and ready to enforce the laws to "make everyone safe and secure." We also have our TSA "friends" at the airports protecting us with an army of over 50,000 bureaucrats. The Department of Homeland Security has more than 240,000 employees. The FBI has about 35,000 employees. Around 90,000 IRS employees enforce draconian tax laws that limit self-sufficiency, put people in fear, and are used as a political tool to help suppress dissenters to the empire. There are many thousands of others "making sure we're safe and secure from our foreign enemies" while our domestic enemies, including politicians, bureaucrats, and government profiteers, are ignored. — Ron Paul

The TSA gets all upset about things like razor blades and pocket knives. They're narrow minded that way. — Rex Cutty

I'm a little disappointed I didn't get fiddled with by a TSA agent at the airport. I feel unwanted. Maybe next time. — William Regal

Seurity!" I yelled. "I'm being harassed!"

Security officers swarm around me and one orders me to step inside the small office area.

"What's the problem here?" the man behind the desk asks the TSA officer.

"She's harassing me, and I feel that I'm being discriminated against because of my intelligence level," I say.

The man looks at me. "What?"

"This woman attempted to engage me in idiotic conversation and I'm psychologically incapable of reacting in a positive way to such foolishness and we had an altercation after she threatened to throw away my ChapStick. — Stephanie McAfee

It's not an Israeli model, it's a TSA, screwed-up model. It should actually be the person who's looking at the ticket and talking to the individual. Instead, they've hired people to stand around and observe, which is a bastardization of what should be done. — John Mica

Increased and better screening for explosives is necessary - and Congress should fund it and TSA should implement it as quickly as possible - however that screening doesn't reduce the risk posed by a trained terrorist with an unconventional weapon. — Dave Reichert

Go to any airport in this country and you'll see how well our government is dealing with the terrible danger you're in. TSA staffers are wanding 90-year-old ladies in wheelchairs, and burrowing through their suitcases. Toddlers are on the no-fly list. Lipsticks are confiscated. And it's all done with the highest seriousness. It's a show of protection and it stirs the fear pot, giving us over and over an image of being in grave personal peril, needing Big Brother to make sure we're safe. — Ann Medlock

I've got a lot of folks who want to get rid of TSA, a bunch of them. — Mike Rogers

Why is it that we all - myself included - believe these stories? Why are we so quick to assume that the TSA is a bunch of jack-booted thugs, officious and arbitrary and drunk with power? It's because everything seems so arbitrary, because there's no accountability or transparency in the DHS. — Bruce Schneier