Trying To Control Others Quotes & Sayings

Whoever relies on the Tao in governing men doesn't try to force issues or defeat enemies by force of arms. For every force there is a counterforce. Violence, even well intentioned, always rebounds upon oneself. The Master does his job and then stops. He understands that the universe is forever out of control, and that trying to dominate events goes against the current of the Tao. Because he believes in himself, he doesn't try to convince others. Because he is content with himself, he doesn't need others' approval. Because he accepts himself, the whole world accepts him. — Laozi

In trying to make a broader historical point about the range of atrocities the Germans committed against many people, I made a clumsy association about the Holocaust, for which I am sorry and I regret Jews obviously do not control media or any other industry. The fact that the Holocaust is still a very important, vivid and current matter today is, in fact, a great credit to the very hard work of a broad coalition of people committed to the remembrance of this atrocity - and it was an atrocity. — Oliver Stone

They were trying to orchestrate a revolution, which almost by definition generated a sense of collective trauma that defied any semblance of coherence and control. If we wish to rediscover the psychological context of the major players in Philadelphia, we need to abandon our hindsight omniscience and capture their mentality as they negotiated the unknown. — Joseph J. Ellis

Shut up," Thoth and I said at the same time. He looked at me with surprise. "So, Sadie ... you are trying to stay in control. It won't last. You may be blood of the pharaohs, but Isis is a deceptive, power-hungry - " "I can contain her," I said, — Rick Riordan

Remember that, in any encounter, the only thing you can control is your own actions and reactions. You cannot dictate the actions of the other person, or in this case, the horse, but you can often send the right signals to get what you want. If you are often baffled by the reactions others have to you, it is probably because you are unaware of the silent signals you send through your posture, your facial gestures, your tone of voice, the amount of personal space you maintain, and so forth. Ever wondered why people don't listen when you try to assert yourself, or why people back away when you're trying to be friendly, or why you're never the one people seek out in a crowded room? Body language. Silent signals. Mixed signals. The trick is to focus outward, not inward. — Lisa Wingate

If there is no honesty, there is no relationship. The only degree to which there is a relationship is the degree to which you are honest. Expressing your clear desires does not make you a dictator and you telling what you think, feel, and what you want or don't want, is just called being honest. It doesn't control him at all.
You're trying to control others by withholding information by not getting involved and by not being honest. Withholding information is a form of manipulation. It is dishonest and it's destructive to a relationship. — Stefan Molyneux

We need to tell people not to be helpful. Trying to be helpful and giving advise are really ways to control others ... Advice, recommendations, and obvious actions are exactly what increase the likelihood that tomorrow will be just like yesterday. — Peter Block

This is the new year the new you. You can pass through another year, coasting on cruise control. Or you can step out of your comfort zone, trying things you have never done before, & make 2012 as the year that you elevate from where you are & soar high. Make it happen! — Pablo

No carelessness in your actions. No confusion in your words. No imprecision in your thoughts. No retreating into your own soul, or trying to escape it. No overactivity. They kill you, cut you with knives, shower you with curses. And that somehow cuts your mind off from clearness, and sanity, and self-control, and justice? A man standing by a spring of clear, sweet water and cursing it. While the fresh water keeps on bubbling up. He can shovel mud into it, or dung, and the stream will carry it away, wash itself clean, remain unstained. To have that. Not a cistern but a perpetual spring. How? By working to win your freedom. Hour by hour. Through patience, honesty, humility. — Marcus Aurelius

I'm not trying to achieve perfection. I don't like this forced control people have over work. — Billy Childish

When work relationships are reciprocal, ethical leadership emerges for both the executive and the participant unless the executive is trying to control the participant. — Peter J. Dean

You're punishing him over and over for things that are out of his control. Now, I'm not saying you shouldn't have a fully loaded weapon next to you round the clock. But I think it's time you flipped this little scenario in your head. If you'd been taken by the Capitol, and hijacked, and then tried to kill Peeta, is this the way he would be treating you? demands Haymitch.
I fall silent. It isn't. It isn't how he would be treating me at all. He would be trying to get me back at any cost. Not shutting me out, abandoning me, greeting me with hostility at every turn. — Suzanne Collins

For each of us, there comes a time to let go. You will know when that time has come. When you have done all that you can do, it is time to detach. Deal with your feelings. Face your fears about losing control. Gain control of yourself and your responsibilities. Free others to be who they are. In so doing, you will set yourself free. ACTIVITY Is there an event or person in your life that you are trying to control? Why? Write a few paragraphs about it. — Melody Beattie

You acquire more influence with young people when you give up using your power to control them ... and the more you use your power to try to control people the less influence you'll have on their lives. — Thomas Gordon

You should never try to be better than someone else, you should always be learning from others. But you should never cease trying to be the best you could be because that's under your control and the other isn't. — John Wooden

I feel like people focus too much on what other people think of their lives and trying to appear like they have it all together rather than focusing on just being happy. You can't control the perception of others no matter how hard you try. Do things that promote personal growth and health. Genuine happiness is hard to miss. — Melanie Iglesias

All the time. A few months ago I came really close to losing it, I was getting really paranoid. And then I started a new job, things fixed themselves. I can't turn my back on the situation and ignore it. If tomorrow I say: "Okay, I've had enough, we're stopping everything" it won't change anything. Might as well try to accept it and stay zen as I have no control over it. — Robert Pattinson

As Charles Lamb says, there is nothing so nice as doing good by stealth and being found out by accident, so I now say it is even nicer to make heroic decisions and to be prevented by 'circumstances beyond your control' from ever trying to execute them. — William James

But a lot of our thinking is caught up in dwelling on the past, trying to control the future, generating misperceptions, and worrying about what others are thinking. — Thich Nhat Hanh

You know you're surrendered to God when you rely on God to work things out instead of trying to manipulate others, force your agenda, and control the situation. You let go and let God work. You don't have to always be "in charge." The Bible says, "Surrender yourself to the Lord, and wait patiently for him. — Rick Warren

You were right when you said I was holding onto April's apron strings even though she was trying to cut them. I've spent so long relying on her that it's sort of become a habit. It's time I relied on myself for a bit and took control of my life. — Nicola Sinclair

You cannot control the market, you cannot control the players, you cannot control the clubs. You can try - but we have done our best. — Rafael Benitez

My level of intervention in the press, trying to control stories, is zero. Subzero. — Benjamin Netanyahu

Evil is something you need to fight until it ceases trying to control you. — Janvier Chouteu-Chando

An insane person is, basically, someone that isn't true to himself and lives between the reality he understands and the distorted perspective of it that he's trying to control. And the bigger this gap is, the more you can be sure to be in front of a neurotic or psychotic individual. — Daniel Marques

Is this ... I mean ... have you ever been kissed before?"
My head shakes frantically. I can't control it.
His face lights up.
I don't know why he's happy that he's trying to make out with a pajama wearing, frozen, virgin kisser. That doesn't sound like happy times at all.
"So I'm your first?"
I nod again. The same speed as before. That's it - I've lost control of all bodily function.
"I like that," he says, his mouth slowly descending. He presses his lips softly against mine. — Jay McLean

It's impossible to monitor every thought we have. Researchers tell us that we have about sixty thousand thoughts a day. Can you imagine how exhausted you'd feel trying to control all sixty thousand of those thoughts? Fortunately there's an easier way and it's our feelings. Our feelings let us know what we're thinking. — Marci Shimoff

The point is that we have no control. The point is that there are no guarantees, that we never know what's going to happen in life, but we can't give up. The point is that, fallible as we all are, we have to keep trying, we have to keep reaching out to others. — Joy Fielding

How long is this going to take, Finnikin? Ask him if they have food. You promised me roast pork." Finnikin rolled his eyes as Moss swung from side to side, trying to dislodge him from his back. "Woman, I'm trying to fight here! Or has that escaped your attention?" Moss reached over his shoulder, grabbed Finnikin by his jerkin, and swung him over his head. But then he stopped suddenly, sliding Finnikin back onto the ground, staring at him. "Finnikin? Did she say Finnikin?" Finnikin felt dizzy, the world spinning out of control. "Finn?" Moss asked again, and then something else seemed to occur to him. "Did you tell her to go get your . . ." He swung around to where the others stood. "Blessed day," he murmured. "Oh, blessed day. — Melina Marchetta

There is only one passion that can help us control the many other passions that plague us; that is the passion to know and obey God. When we get out of touch with Christ, we begin touching the things of the world, trying to fill the void that human flesh craves. — Billy Graham

I wanted to lose 30 pounds healthfully and still be able to enjoy my college experience. Having succeeded in doing just that, I wanted to share my experiences with others who could benefit from my direct knowledge of the difficulty of trying to balance college life with being healthy. It became a journey about healthy lifestyle choices, including tips and tricks for creating a new relationship with food where I was in control and could learn to love food healthfully again. — Daphne Oz

I am freeing myself from security, sensation and power addictions that make me try to forcefully control situations in my life and thus destroy my serenity and keeps me from loving myself and others. — Ken Keyes Jr.

Maturity: knowing where you're crazy, trying to warn others of the fact and striving to keep yourself under control. — Alain De Botton

But how do you and I become supernatural? We have to begin to do what's unnatural - that is, to give in the midst of crisis, when everyone is feeling lack and poverty; to love when everyone is angry and judging others; to demonstrate courage and peace when everyone else is in fear; to show kindness when others are displaying hostility and aggression; to surrender to possibility when the rest of the world is aggressively pushing to be first, trying to control outcomes, and fiercely competing in an endless drive to get to the top; to knowingly smile in the face of adversity; and to cultivate the feeling of wholeness when we're diagnosed as sick. It — Joe Dispenza

Our main problem is deciding how to spend this one and only precious life that we have been gifted...
Shall we spend it trying to look good - trying to create the illusion of being better, stronger or smarter than others, or of having power and control over people and life's circumstances?
Or shall we let go and humble ourselves - so we can truly taste life, enjoy it, share it, own it and fully appreciate it?
Its a very personal choice. Let's choose wisely! — Jose N. Harris

Aron and a team of scientists have also found that when sensitive people see faces of people experiencing strong feelings, they have more activation than others do in areas of the brain associated with empathy and with trying to control strong emotions. It's as if, like Eleanor Roosevelt, they can't help but feel what others feel. — Susan Cain

Empowered Women 101: Only an insecure woman with control issues will look outside her relationship and say other people are to blame for her husband's lack of focus, love and respect. A real woman knows that the problem isn't other people; it is her man. If he truly loved you he wouldn't have ever made you an option and went looking for what he felt you didn't have. Don't waste your time trying to convince someone to see your worth by destroying others. There will always be someone prettier, smarter, more spiritual and more accomplished than you to distract this person. A real woman knows her worth and will never have to train anyone to recognize it. — Shannon L. Alder

Governments are especially adept at using propaganda to induce fear among citizens to control their behavior. When people are frightened enough, they turn to governments for protection. Because we all fear the judgement of others to some degree, governments also use propaganda to manipulate our perception of the expectations of others. If propaganda creates the impression that all the other citizens expect us to be obedient, our default position will be obedience, and that can only be overcome with careful, rational analysis. Any time someone trying to control us can fill our heads with emotions, they can keep us from thinking clearly and lead us to believe in whatever bad ideas advance their agenda. — Adam Kokesh

Our whole life is wasted in trying to change others. For a change, try to change yourself! It is easier and at least under your control. — Sanchita Pandey

Doing things for others can make the 'giver' happy, but trying to change or control another will drive you crazy, because it cannot be sustained. One must give without expectation(s) and allow others, even your offspring, the opportunity of self-determination
even when you "perceive" danger on the road ahead; each spiritual journey has a right to its own fulfillment. We must learn how to stay in our lane. — T.F. Hodge

The man who is bigger than his job keeps cool. He does not lose his head, he refuses to become rattled, to fly off in a temper. The man who would control others must be able to control himself. There is something admirable, something inspiring, something soul-stirring about a man who displays coolness and courage under extremely trying circumstances. A good temper is not only a business asset. It is the secret of health. The longer you live, the more you will learn that a disordered temper breeds a disordered body. — B.C. Forbes

Because of our belief in being separate, we fall into all kinds of harmful actions and deeds that create more problems for us. Competitiveness is a big one - trying to get ahead of others, stepping on each other. We become frustrated and angry with each other. We try to control others; we condemn them. All of these things stem from one false belief, I am apart, separate from everything else. — Dennis Merzel

If we really knew the God of Jesus, we would stop trying to control and manipulate others "for their own good," knowing full well that this is not how God works among His people. - The Signature of Jesus — Brennan Manning

It (trying to keep the law) grants you the power to judge others and feel superior to them. You believe you are living to a higher standard than those you judge. Enforcing rules, especially in its more subtle expressions like responsibility and expectation, is a vain attempt to create certainly out of uncertainty. And contrary to what you might think, I have a great fondness for uncertainty. Rules cannot bring freedom; they only have the power to accuse. — Wm. Paul Young

There's a right time for everything. Not all will come to you, because there's a solid plan. You just have to have faith, you have to believe that there's a greater plan for us, in case it doesn't pan out the way we thought it would. The only thing you can control is your attitude towards this things. You have to accept it and try to make the most of what is given to you. — Shamcey Supsup

We are all just actors trying to control and manage our public image, we act based on how others might see us. — Erving Goffman

You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind. That's the only thing you should be trying to control. — Elizabeth Gilbert

Most weight loss diets center around portion control, which is just trying to eat smaller amounts of the same addictive foods. This approach inevitably fails. — Joel Fuhrman

The only ship you can truly steer in this ocean is the one you're sailing. Quit trying to alter the winds; harness them. — Richelle E. Goodrich

The harder you try to control your girlfriend the further you'll drive her away, so stop acting like a dumbbell. — Jeanne Phillips

Everyone is trying to control their own unhappiness. — Paulo Coelho

I'm very patient and always willing to try things but I have some resistance as well because I have my own vision. I have resistance sometimes because I see a director who's freaking out and wants to have control and they sometimes anticipate about what I'm going to be doing or not. — Juliette Binoche

His eyes widened and he sucked in a small portion of his bottom lip as if trying to control his temper which she had no doubt was brutally savage. He didn't back off, only let out a short puff of air.
"Oh, I'm good with brats. I've broken dozens of them. — Madison Thorne Grey

We mothers can testify that it is impossible to completely control a child. It's like trying to steer a cat. Toni sorenson — Toni Sorenson

You guys will write what you want to write, people will say what they want to say. I can't control any of that. All I can control is how I play. I'm trying to be the best player I can be. — Jason Spezza

So there's that, and then there's always things you can do with the tips. Except for this, what they call the arrow tips, they'll all be non-lethal cause again we're not trying kill anybody, just sort of take control of the situation. They'll probably throw in a lot of gimmicks with the tips and trick arrows, and things like that. And ya the new, cool ... — Jeremy Renner

When I was teaching basketball, I urged my players to try their hardest to improve on that very day, to make that practice a masterpiece.
Too often we get distracted by what is outside our control. You can't do anything about yesterday. The door to the past has been shut and the key thrown away. You can do nothing about tomorrow. It is yet to come. However, tomorrow is in large part determined by what you do today. So make today a masterpiece. You have control over that.
This rule is even more important in life than basketball. You have to apply yourself each day to become a little better. By applying yourself to the task of becoming a little better each and every day over a period of time, you will become a lot better. Only then will you will be able to approach being the best you can be. It begins by trying to make each day count and knowing you can never make up for a lost day. — John Wooden

Well, again, a gun sale database is just trying to get the Department of Justice to keep track of the guns that they're purchasing and supplying to drug dealers and murderers. I mean, wow. Come on, let's get the government under control before we start restricting the rights of - innocent citizens. — John Mica

I think I just learned that God has a plan for all of us, and I work hard and do all the things I can, but at the same time, His will is perfect; and me trying to control it, it's not going to work. — Matt Holliday

Society tried to teach me that children are by nature selfish, out-of-control, and demanding, that their goal is power and that they are always trying to see how much they can get away with, that you can't let children manipulate you or become too dependant, and that disobedience equals disrespect. As a mother, I have come to believe strongly that my child's primary goals are having his needs met, feeling connected to others, and feeling self-worth. His misbehavior is an attempt to get a need met or to feel significance and connection, done in an appropriate way ... my job as a parent is to help my child identify and meet those needs in appropriate ways. - Lisa S. — Hilary Flower

When the Americans were trying to conquer the Navajos, they felt this need to capture Canyon de Chelly like it was the Navajo capital. It was a meeting place and a sanctuary of last refuge. To control Canyon de Chelly was to control the Navajo people. — Hampton Sides

I want people to understand, that you are responsible for your life. Weather you are transexual, weather you are a divorcee, weather you are terminally ill, weather you are posessed by the devil or trying to get the devil out of you. You have control over your life, and it is only when you recognize that, and is willing to be responsible for your life that you can truely soar, and I believe that it's possible in our lifetime to fly if you want to. — Oprah Winfrey

I used to worry about every little thing, trying to figure out every problem. Well, I realize now how foolish that was. I was no more in control of my life than the man on the moon. — Joyce Meyer

You either fainted or you wanted a much closer look at the cracks in the tile. Either way, you hit hard."
"Seriously?"
He nodded. "Maybe you shouldn't have been trying to make out with him," he suggested.
How did he know that? "I was kissing him good-bye."
He snorted and exchanged glances with the nurse. "That's not what it looked like to me."
Probably not. But what happened? Could Reyes Farrow take control over me even from a freaking coma? I was doomed. — Darynda Jones

While Diana finds the monarchy as presently organized a crumbling institution, she has a deep respect for the manner in which the Queen has conducted herself for the last forty years. Indeed, much as she would like to leave her husband, Diana has emphasized to her: "I will never let you down." Before she attended a garden party on a stifling July afternoon last year, a friend offered Diana a fan to take with her. She refused saying: "I can't do that. My mother-in-law is going to be standing there with her handbag, gloves, stockings and shoes." It was a sentiment expressed in admiring tones for the Sovereign's complete self-control in every circumstance, however trying. — Andrew Morton

Our culture attaches too much importance to feelings, he says it's out of control, it's not computers that are making everything virtual, it's mental health. Everyone's trying to correct their thoughts and improve their feelings and work on their relationships and parenting skills instead of just getting married and raising children like they used to, — Jonathan Franzen

In theater and dance, I was trying to win someone's approval, trying to get in, trying to be good. It felt out of my control, whereas music suddenly felt like this free expression. It was fun. — Susanna Hoffs

Brands no longer own their message. They can try to control it, but they do not own it. Today, consumers own the message. What they say about a brand carries more weight than what the brand says about itself. — Kim Garst

If you submit to the ocean, you drown. If you try to control the ocean, then you're deluded. You learn how to live with the ocean. You learn how to float, to swim, to be a part of it, to be with it. That is the nature of the Pagan's relationship with nature. — Emma Restall Orr

A lot of people think that in order to be attractive, you need to appear cool, together or confident. But REAL confidence comes from accepting yourself as you are, and sharing the real you. When you share you do so simply in the interest of being transparent and not trying to get a certain favorable response. Letting go of trying to control other peoples' responses to you is one of the greatest confidence-builders I know of. And from my own experience, I have come to the conclusion that I am most lovable when I am most transparent. — Susan Campbell

What was she trying to do to him? Was this what being in love was supposed to feel like? Was it supposed to make him feel out of control? Was it supposed to rip him apart, pulling him in two opposite directions? Was it supposed to make him want to tear his hair out in frustration? If it was, he didn't need it. — Monica McCarty

People are more motivated and confident when they believe they have more control over their environment. "People with low-power mindsets do less than they otherwise could," said one motivation researcher (Rigoglioso, 2008). Inviting students to have a voice in classroom decisions - where they sit, what day a test takes place, in what order units are studied, or even where a plant should be placed in the classroom - can help them develop that greater sense of control. An added benefit to this strategy could be fewer discipline issues. William Glasser suggests that power is a key need of students, and that 95% of classroom management problems happen because students are trying to fulfill that need (Ryan & Cooper, 2008, p. 85). — Larry Ferlazzo

Fear is about things that you can't control. The future or the dark, or someone trying to kill you. You don't get scared of yourself because you always know what you're going to do. — Dan Wells

We are in control, they are in a state of hysteria. Losers, they think that by killing civilians and trying to distort the feelings of the people they will win. I think they will not win, those bastards. — Mohammed Saeed Al-Sahaf

After 1656 the Dutch, who had gained control over the Moluccas, chose the islands that could be most easily defended. They then burned all the nutmeg trees on the other islands to make sure no one else could profit from the trees. Anyone caught trying to smuggle nutmeg out of the Moluccas was put to death. The Dutch also dipped all their nutmegs in lime (a caustic substance) to stop the seed from sprouting and to prevent people from planting their own trees. Pigeons, however, defied these Dutch precautions. Birds could eat nutmeg fruits, fly to another island and leave the seeds behind in their droppings. — Meredith Sayles Hughes

I should just stop trying to control what's coming out of my mouth. I'm always going to keep what's important to me in mind and I completely understand considering that we're playing characters that are so coveted by so many people so I get why they want to know more about us. I just sort of have to not think about it. — Kristen Stewart

This can't last. This misery can't last. I must remember that and try to control myself. Nothing lasts really. Neither happiness nor despair. Not even life lasts very long — Celia Johnson

Penny rolled over, got to her feet, trying to get control of her scattered mind, but Quinn was behind her now and had his powerful arm around her neck.
"I will snap your neck, Penny. I swear to God, I will snap your neck. Nothing you can do will stop me."
Penny went limp. "You think the king will let you get away with this, Quinn?" she hissed.
"Anyone messes with me, Penny, you or anyone else, and I go on strike. See how well you enjoy life without me and my crews. Without food. — Michael Grant

You enjoy things less when you are always trying to control things instead of just living. — Kaza Kingsley

There's a lot of fear connected with the inner journey because it penetrates our illusions. Taking the inner journey will lead you into some very shadowy places. You're going to learn things about yourself that you'll wish you didn't know. There are monsters in there-monsters you can't control-but trying to keep them hidden will only give them greater power. — Parker J. Palmer

Things you never thought were going to turn into something end up being the most important things in your life. You have to learn to not try to control it. — Michael Ian Black

When you believe without knowing you believe that you are damaged at your core, you also believe that you need to hide that damage for anyone to love you. You walk around ashamed of being yourself. You try hard to make up for the way you look, walk, feel. Decisions are agonizing because if you, the person who makes the decision, is damaged, then how can you trust what you decide? You doubt your own impulses so you become masterful at looking outside yourself for comfort. You become an expert at finding experts and programs, at striving and trying hard and then harder to change yourself, but this process only reaffirms what you already believe about yourself
that your needs and choices cannot be trusted, and left to your own devices you are out of control (p.82-83) — Geneen Roth

Trying to control construction costs is like trying to control the cost of a hospital stay. You may not realize that when you sneeze and the nurse hands you a box of tissues, it generates a $5 charge on your bill. But you still have to pay. — Margo Kaufman

Each atom is trying to fly off from its centre. In the internal world, each thought is trying to go beyond control. Again each particle in the external world is checked by another force, the centripetal, and drawn towards the centre. Similarly in the thought - world the controlling power is checking all these outgoing desires. — Swami Vivekananda