Quotes & Sayings About Trying To Change Yourself

So, whenever you find yourself putting forth great effort without success, you're trying to force something that won't fit under the circumstances. That's a destructive waste of time. And if that isn't enough to keep in mind, your techniques must always be allowed to evolve and change, in relationships, in life, in science, in society. Otherwise you stagnate, and you won't get anywhere in the long run ... You know what the philosopher Aldous Huxley said? He said 'Consistency is contrary to nature, contrary to life. The only completely consistent people are the dead. — Tony Vigorito

When it comes to breaking old habits and starting new ones, remember to be patient with yourself. If you've spent twenty, thirty, or forty years or more repeating the behaviors you're now trying to change, you've got to expect it's going to take time and effort before you see lasting results. — Darren Hardy

To resist change, to try to cling to life, is therefore like holding your breath: if you persist you kill yourself. — Alan Watts

Being a good person, or a better person, or whatever it is you're worried about and trying to fix? It shouldn't change who you are. It means you become more like yourself. — Stephanie Perkins

When you do a fault analysis, there's no point in assigning fault to a part of the system you can't change afterward, it's like stepping off a cliff and blaming gravity. Gravity isn't going to change next time. There's no point in trying to allocate responsibility to people who aren't going to alter their actions. Once you look at it from that perspective, you realize that allocating blame never helps anything unless you blame yourself, because you're the only one whose actions you can change by putting blame there. — Eliezer Yudkowsky

The function of education, then, is to help you from childhood not to imitate anybody, but to be yourself all the time. And this is a most difficult thing to do: whether you are ugly or beautiful, whether you are envious or jealous, always to be what you are, but understand it. To be yourself is very difficult, because you think that what you are is ignoble, and that if you could only change what you are into something noble it would be marvellous; but that never happens. Whereas, if you look at what you actually are and understand it, then in that very understanding there is a transformation. So freedom lies, not in trying to become something different, nor in doing whatever you happen to feel like doing, nor in following the authority of tradition, of your parents, of your guru, but in understanding what you are from moment to moment. — Jiddu Krishnamurti

I mean, I tried to change, I did, everybody tries to change, Michael. Not just the queerboys. You look in the mirror and all you see is what's wrong, I'm not _this_ enough or I'm not _that_ enough, and you spend your whole life trying to fix yourself, because you just want to be okay inside your head, you know?

I know you know this, Michael, that's why you're here. You're looking for the fix. Yeah, that's why they call it a fix. Because you think you're broken. Only you're not--that broken feeling? That's normal. That's how you know you're normal. If you're not feeling it, you really are broken, that's the joke — David Gerrold

I was thinking, and realised how simple my goal has been - just to be me! I didn't want to be a good person and change the world; I just wanted to be me! Against all odds, I wanted to make sure that I turned out as myself and not into my family, my society, my religion ... I wanted to make sure that I turned into me! But then after that first realisation, I made a second realisation; and that is, that becoming yourself against all odds is probably the highest attainment you could ever dream of or hope for! After all, the minute we are born, we are born into a world that isn't interested in making us who we are; but rather, is interested in making us who they think we are supposed to be! It is a most courageous act to become yourself, no matter what! And you can move mountains and change the world without trying to! As long as you fight for you! — C. JoyBell C.

Because counseling isn't about changing someone else. It's about trying to change yourself. — Nicholas Sparks

Trying to think more outside the box is like taking a picture with a camera, the more you do it, the more you learn about different positions and angles. The more you take pictures, the more you learn that you can change the camera distance range or change the speeds, and different amounts of light let in. Likewise, the camera speed is the same as allowing yourself time for outside ideas and thoughts to flow. — Wes Adamson

the only person you can ever change is yourself; after you have done that and you are the best you that you can be, let go. There is always another job, another woman, another best friend. Each day that you persist in a situation where you are miserable is a day wasted on the path that would lead you to happiness.' He looks at me and says, 'So you are saying I should take the easy way out?' And I say, 'No, I want you to know the difference between trying and holding on.' Monday — Twinkle Khanna

Yeah. It's impossible. Giving up just like that before you even started. Not even trying to change, to you it's impossible to change. Are you going to forever beat yourself down? — Kayoru

Do you know someone you would like to change and regulate and improve? Good! That is fine. I am all in favor of it, But why not begin on yourself? From a purely selfish standpoint, that is a lot more profitable than trying to improve others - yes, and a lot less dangerous. — Dale Carnegie

Change happens not by trying to make yourself change, but by becoming conscious of what's not working. — Shakti Gawain

I try always to intimate with the world ... with everything I can, to feel love for it, or interest in it. To be intimate you have to open yourself, to be fearless, to trust what is around you, animate and inanimate. Then you start to change the scale of things, of the public and private. — Gabriel Orozco

Life has three rules: Paradox, Humor, and Change.
- Paradox: Life is a mystery; don't waste your time trying to figure it out.
- Humor: Keep a sense of humor, especially about yourself. It is a strength beyond all measure
- Change: Know that nothing ever stays the same. — Dan Millman

The best definition I've heard is that guilt is about what you've done, shame is about who you are. If something's out of my control, I don't feel shame about it, because what could I have done? If you're guilty, you can at least try to atone for it or make it better or not do it again. If it's who you are, you can't do much about it except change yourself, and that's pretty hard. — Mary Gaitskill

If you realize that all things change, there is nothing you will try to hold on to. If you aren't afraid of dying, there is nothing you can't achieve. Trying to control the future is like trying to take the master carpenter's place. When you handle the master carpenter's tools, chances are that you'll cut yourself. — Lao-Tzu

My whole point," I said, "is that what they teach here, what they believe, if you don't trust it, if you doubt it at all, then you're told that you're going to hell, that not only everyone you know is ashamed of you, but that Jesus himself has given up on your soul. And if you're like Mark, and you do believe all of this, you really do - you have faith in Jesus and this stupid Promise system, and even still, even with those things, you still can't make yourself good enough, because what you're trying to change isn't changeable, it's like your height or the shape of your ears, whatever, then it's like this place does make things happen to you, or at least it's supposed to convince you that you're always gonna be a dirty sinner and that it's completely your fault because you're not trying hard enough to change yourself. It convinced Mark. — Emily M. Danforth

Trying to change others is a smokescreen, start by changing yourself then others will copy from you. — Auliq Ice

I think you have to ask yourself does voting work on the level that you are trying to effectuate change; that is the conversation you must have. — Lupe Fiasco

I won't lie - I don't care.
And you should quit trying to deceive yourself because I can tell by the way you show no desire to do anything but complain about the issue that you don't honestly care either. — Richelle E. Goodrich

Try to meditate as you would engage in a good conversation: maintain a sense of openness, without judgment or anticipating what is going to be said next. As I already noted (but almost can't emphasize too much), having an agenda prevents you from observing objectively and accepting things as they are. When you first sit down to meditate, briefly check in with yourself. Don't engage in a long monologue about your state of mind; just see how you feel, literally. There's a good chance, especially if you're new to this, you'll find an uneasiness that comes from wanting to do something else or from hoping you'll get some kind of payoff from meditating. Observe what that wanting feels like without trying to change it. Just accept that this feeling or feelings is reality for you at this moment, and that's okay - this too will pass. If you're finding you're having a lot of difficulty concentrating, it can be helpful to check in this way again. — Marshall Glickman

When you make the decision to start something new, first figure out the jobs you want to do. Then position yourself to play where no one else is playing. — Whitney Johnson

As you learn to consciously observe the transformation process, you will watch yourself repeating a lot of old patterns long after you seemingly know better. Spiritually and intellectually, you realize there is another way, but emotionally you are still clinging to the old habits. This is a difficult time. Try to be patient and compassionate with yourself. When you recognize the futility of an old pattern so clearly, it's about to change! A short time later, you will suddenly begin to respond differently, in a more positive way. — Shakti Gawain

I think that facing your own ugliness ... and trying to change yourself
turning your scars into strengths ... is very strong and beautiful. — Minari Endou

Trying to change yourself is as hard as trying to change the universe. Maybe there's no difference. The fact is, shit happens none of us plan on. — Tom Spanbauer

Stop trying to change the world since it is only the mirror. Man's attempt to change the world by force is as fruitless as breaking a mirror in the hope of changing his face. Leave the mirror and change your face. Leave the world alone and change your conceptions of yourself. — Neville Goddard

In a city of illusion, where change is what the city does, it's no wonder Las Vegas is the court of last resort, the last place to start over, to reinvent yourself in the same way that the city does, time after time. For some it works; for some it doesn't, but they keep coming and trying. — Hal Rothman

Larson had been putting up a front like he wasn't listening, but hearing that last statement from Owen made him speak up. "It's not about that," he asserted.
"It has to be," Owen disagreed. "How else am I supposed to define myself?"
"Why do you have to have a definition? A label isn't gonna make you feel any better about yourself or this situation. Stop trying to put yourself in one group or the other. It doesn't matter."
"It matters to me!" Owen challenged. "My whole world has been flipped upside down thanks to you! Am I just supposed to sit back and accept that?"
Larson was beginning to boil over with repugnance. "Yes! Because that's what happens!" He was trying as hard a he could not to scream. "Things change and sometimes there's nothing we can do about it. Life sucks. Deal with it! That's what I'm doing. I'm not doing it in the best way, but I'm doing it. I'm dealing with that fact that you left me. — Megan Duke

Why are you trying to be something you're not?"
I shrugged, "People change, get used to it Alex. It's not like you know me anyway."
He nodded, "You've got that right. I just hope you haven't lost yourself in the process ... it would be a real shame if you couldn't find your way back."
I frowned at him, "And what the hell is that supposed to mean Alex?"
He studied my eyes intently, "I just don't want you to forget who you truly are ... because I liked that girl. — Joanne McClean

Testing by itself does not improve software quality. Test results are an indicator of quality, but in and of themselves, they don't improve it. Trying to improve software quality by increasing the amount of testing is like trying to lose weight by weighing yourself more often. What you eat before you step onto the scale determines how much you will weigh, and the software development techniques you use determine how many errors testing will find. If you want to lose weight, don't buy a new scale; change your diet. If you want to improve your software, don't test more; develop better. — Steve McConnell

If you're a salesman, you have to deal with yourself the way you are. Not how you'd like to be.
If you don't have what it takes, you can waste a lot of time asking yourself "How can I get what it takes?" The question you should be asking yourself is, "Is there something else that takes what I have to offer?" Because if there's something you can succeed at, just the way you are, you won't have to waste a lot of time trying to change yourself. Which you're never going to be able to do, anyway. — Helen DeWitt

When you believe without knowing you believe that you are damaged at your core, you also believe that you need to hide that damage for anyone to love you. You walk around ashamed of being yourself. You try hard to make up for the way you look, walk, feel. Decisions are agonizing because if you, the person who makes the decision, is damaged, then how can you trust what you decide? You doubt your own impulses so you become masterful at looking outside yourself for comfort. You become an expert at finding experts and programs, at striving and trying hard and then harder to change yourself, but this process only reaffirms what you already believe about yourself
that your needs and choices cannot be trusted, and left to your own devices you are out of control (p.82-83) — Geneen Roth

But beauty is about finding the right fit, the most natural fit, To be perfect, you have to feel perfect about yourself
avoid trying to be something you're not. For a goddess, that's especially hard. We can change so easily.
-Aphrodite — Rick Riordan

It's a myth that people change. They spend tens of thousands of dollars on therapy trying to address their issues, but I know very few people who have ever made any significant changes. You are who you are. You can bemoan it, you can try to become a different person, or you can celebrate yourself. I choose to do the latter — Dennis Hof

Trying to figure out how something works on that deep level, the first ninety-nine explanations you come up with are wrong. The hundredth is right. So you have to learn how to admit you're wrong, over and over and over again. It doesn't sound like much, but it's so hard that most people can't do science. Always questioning yourself, always taking another look at things you've always taken for granted," like having a Snitch in Quidditch, "and every time you change your mind, you change yourself. — Eliezer Yudkowsky

Every different social group that I encountered had its different set of rules, so you learn very quickly how to pick up the nuances and change yourself accordingly. When you are not from anywhere, you have to try to find what's universal. You are always trying to fit in. — Julianne Moore

Trying to effect change in others is a lost cause especially if you are unwilling to first change yourself. It's easier to focus on other people's issues or shortcomings rather than look inward. It's counter-productive to try to clean someone else's house, while your house is a disaster. Not to mention, hypocritical. Start with yourself and then worry about others. ~Jason Versey — Jason Versey

All these years you've been searching and looking and trying to change things, trying to add thing onto yourself, trying to acquire things when you have been the source of everything to begin with. Everything you've been looking for has been within yourself you have been that. You then begin to surrender everything to yourself. You surrender all of your thoughts, all of your feelings, you surrender all of your desires, all of your wants to the Self. You pull it in all inwardly. — Robert Adams

Two Wrongs Don't Make a Right, nor do Two Rights Make a Left.

Which ever side you think is Correct. Great. That is what resonates with your perception... Dive deep within yourself to discover why you think you need to judge or change the person in your perception.. when the real change is the reflection in the mirror..reflected by the person you are trying to change... out of fear. Fear is the negative energies keeping you from the light of truth.

Be Yourself and Honor others for who they are. If we were all the same.. the world wouldn't have so many pretty colors and changes. — Jonathan Bailey

No one needs to hit rock bottom to change. And yet so many people do, only because most of us are unskilled in communicating with ourselves.
Stress, depression, anxiety, insomnia, headaches, illness ... these are all symptoms of a bigger problem. You're trying to tell yourself something. Loudly.
Listen now or listen later. There is no ignoring the call. — Vironika Tugaleva

Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others. — Jacob M. Braude

Boro-babu, the world does not change, you destroy yourself trying to change it, but it remains as it is. The world is very big, and we are very small. Why cause people who love you to go through such misery because of it? — Neel Mukherjee

I'm not saying this is going toe easy. I'll make mistakes. You'll make mistakes, mostly about trying to draw attention to the differences between us. I realize it'll take time for you to get over this mind-set that you're somehow not good enough for me. It pisses me off, but I get that you can't change a lifetime of seeing yourself the way you do overnight. But I'm going to work on it and wear you down. — Maya Banks

I wanted to start over completely, to begin again as new people with nothing of the past left over. I wanted to run away from who we had been seen to be, who we had been ... It's the first thing I think of when trouble comes - the geographic solution. Change your name, leave town, disappear, make yourself over. What hides behind that impulse is the conviction that the life you have lived, the person you are, is valueless, better off abandoned, that running away is easier than trying to change things, that change itself is not possible. — Dorothy Allison

Don't expect others to change. Instead, take on the project and see if you can become the change you want to see in the world. Try your best to let go of anger, blame and seeing yourself as a victim. — Sharon Gannon

You look nice," he said, as a headlight splashed across the interior.
"Give yourself a pat on the back; you bought it. I really wish you didn't keep filling my closet. I'm never going to be able to pay you back."
"I would not take payment for something that is my duty."
That's what I liked about Justus; he would never admit that he enjoyed shopping for me. At first, I thought I wasn't up to snuff and he was trying to change me. As it turns out, it was the only way he knew how to express his affection. Wearing one of his dresses was the equivalent of a hug — Dannika Dark

Teaching Fire a Lesson
Fire is hot. That's what it does. If you get burned by fire, you can be annoyed at yourself, but being angry at fire doesn't do you much good. And trying to teach the fire a lesson so it won't be hot next time is certainly not time well spent.
Our inclination is to give fire a pass, because it's not human. But human beings are similar, in that they're not going to change any time soon either. — Seth Godin

It all boils down to one thing...it is your 'relationship' to the source, and that relationship to that which we call God, or don't call God, or don't even know...is God. It is ALL that really matters...when you surrender, and stop resisting, and stop trying to change that which you cannot change, but be in the moment, be fully open to the blessings you have already received, and those that are yet to come to you, and stand in that space of gratitude, and honor, and claim that for yourself, and look at where you are, and how far you have come, and what you've gotten, and what you've accomplished, and who you are. When you can claim 'that', and see that, the literal vibration of your life will change. The Vibration of Your Life Will Change. — Oprah Winfrey

But until then, you might find yourself laboring much longer than you should, still trying to get someone to change, thinking that one more coaching session will do the trick - or one more bit of encouragement, or one more session of feedback or confrontation. Or worse, one more concession. — Henry Cloud

I think trying to write is a religious exercise. You are trying to understand life, and you can only get the illusion of doing it fully by writing. That is, it's the only way I can come to understand things fully. When I create, when I put my own mark on something and form it, I begin to know the whole truth about it, how it was put together. Then you can begin to change things around. You know all this after you have written a lot. You really know. And it has become the most important thing in your life. It has nothing to do with craft, or even art, in a way. It is making sense of life. It is coming to understand yourself. — Peter Taylor

Grace is when you aren't striving or controlling or trying to change or manipulate or make something happen. Grace is when you find yourself carried along, when all that's left to do is receive. Grace is when you know you're loved, exactly as you are. Grace is an entirely different way of experiencing life. Another word for grace is gift. — Rob Bell

Forgive yourself, for anything and everything. This includes things you did as an adult and way back to things you have done since you were born. You can't change the past, so let it go and move on. You won't really have peace in general until you make peace with yourself. You need to generally like yourself and get along with yourself, because you will always be there. You can't get away from yourself. Wherever you go, there you are. So become your own friend, then you will have peace inside of yourself. God, the perfect and holy one, even gives you grace; so give yourself grace. You never have been and never will be perfect. So get over trying to be. Amen — Lisa Bedrick

When you know something or someone in your life is unhealthy or unproductive, that you have grown beyond where they are and where they want to keep you, you must let go. If you tell yourself you do not see it when you do, or if you tell yourself it will get better, you are not being honest with yourself. Stop trying to fix things or change things. Simply let go. — Iyanla Vanzant

Our whole life is wasted in trying to change others. For a change, try to change yourself! It is easier and at least under your control. — Sanchita Pandey

If you believe in peace, act peacefully; if you believe in love, acting lovingly; if you believe every which way, then act every which way, that's perfectly valid - but don't go out trying to sell your beliefs to the system. You end up contradicting what you profess to believe in, and you set a bum example. If you want to change the world, change yourself. — Tom Robbins

Open your mind a little, don't believe everything you hear, see or read, the world is so caught up in trying to avoid the topics that matter that you'll lose yourself trying to become like it. — Nikki Rowe