Toupee Quotes & Sayings

Mysteries simply are a feast for an active mind. And while in my lifetime I've seen science make extraordinary inroads into solving the most complex questions of life, after all this time I admit that I am thrilled that there are some things that forever will remain a mystery. For example, do I wear a toupee? — William Shatner

First people lose their hair, then their vices, then their motivation. Then a toupee brings it all flowing back. — Bauvard

I just don't like my voice in the studio, and I just don't like the studio, I'm not a studio-head. And that's why you don't get so much material from me; — Ginuwine

He stood up and took off the dressing gown, the skullcap, the slippers. He took off the linen trousers and shirt. He took off his head like a toupee, took off his collarbones like shoulder straps, took off his rib cage like a hauberk. He took off his hips and his legs, he took off his arms like gauntlets and threw them in a corner. What was left of him gradually dissolved, hardly coloring the air. — Vladimir Nabokov

Intolerance is the 'Do Not Touch' sign on something that cannot bear touching. We do not mind having our hair ruffled, but we will not tolerate any familiarity with the toupee which covers our baldness. — Eric Hoffer

Meanwhile someone is shining my head to get it dry to attach my top-hat to my head with toupee tape. I get into microphone and get back up into my dressing room for the rest of my costume. I get snapped into all these things and layers and bundled up. I walk downstairs to the pit. Someone hands me my baton (which lights up like a wand) and I watch the first three minutes of the show. Then I come up out of the pit and there I am. — Tituss Burgess

Oh, I remember how beautiful you were. You didn't have any hair. You were such a bald little booger, I thought I was going to have to save up to buy you a toupee. — Sherrilyn Kenyon

We're missing one vital ingredient to brew the reversal potion." A chill went down her spine on icy spider feet. "Don't tell me it's Donald Trump's toupee." "I — Nadine Mutas

A bad facelift is like a bad toupee. — Gloria Steinem

If our legal counsel, Bob Rutherford, works for Satan, Satan should buy Bob a better toupee. — Christina Dodd

Staring at my smoldering hot date, her husband stands tall for the first time in a decade, adjusting his toupee while flashing a horrid green toothy grin that looks more like a Steven Hawkins muscle spasm. In his hands, a frightened beer bottle is choked with the steel grip of a sexually repressed Preacher. — Brett Tate

This movie is a toupee made up to look like honest baldness. — Pauline Kael

Pretty Woman was the easiest job I've ever done. I just wore the right toupee. — Hector Elizondo

Being a king was not about pleasing people. It was about controlling them. — Elizabeth Chadwick

The Soul Toupee is that thing about ourselves we are most deeply embarrassed by and like to think we have cunningly concealed from the world, but which is, in fact, pitifully obvious to everybody who knows us. — Tim Kreider

I'm into song-writing; I'm into melodies that break your heart a little bit. That's the thing that got me into music; that's what I look for in music for the most part. — Danger Mouse

You don't want to try to look younger, because you'll look wrong. You dye your hair, you look wrong. You wear a bad toupee, you look wrong. You wear makeup to hide things, you get your eyes done, you look wrong. — George Clooney

An ax came through the door. Then two firefighters. They looked down at and assistant mall manager crying and wearing a melted toupee, sitting cross-legged next to a mall cop with a bleeding ankle and a mouth full of paper.
One of the firefighters look at the other. Not again. — Tim Dorsey

American Ballet Theatre's rehearsal studios are at 890 Broadway, an old building where exposed pipes clank and hiss in uneven accompaniment to piano music. The high ceilings wear a toupee of dust. The wall paint peels like a newbie ballerina's toes. — Sascha Radetsky

My first course came and I put down my book, and I just happened to put up my hand to scratch my head and discovered that my toupee had been blown by the wind and was folded over backwards on the top of my head! — Derek Jacobi

Was I willing to glue on a vijay toupee for him? — R.S. Grey

Thomas Bowman's toupee, alas, was never found. He was somewhat mollified by the gift of a very fine hat from Westcliff on Christmas day. — Lisa Kleypas

I'm surprized Hitler didn't round up the toupee people. — Larry David

As I'm starting to grow up, and things are happening, I'm going to have to take off my pants, and I want to have on some attractive underwear. When it says Versace on your underwear, people will say, 'Man, he's fresh to his undies.' — Shameik Moore

I'm still bald, I just wear a toupee. — Jason Alexander

Mortimer Lindquist seemed to have finally given in to the inevitable. I'd seen him with a bad toupee, and with an even worse comb-over, but this was the first time I'd seen him sporting a full-on Charles Xavier. — Jim Butcher

Contradictions do not perplex the logician. They arise because there are more rules to an open game than can be known. — Donald Kingsbury