Tosher Quotes & Sayings

Congratulations, you have a sense of humor. And to those who didn't: Go stick your head in the mud. — Jesse Ventura

I could write shorter sermons but when I get started I'm too lazy to stop — Abraham Lincoln

It follows that unless your headline sells your product, you have wasted 90 percent of your money ... — David Ogilvy

The more pain that's referenced or implied, the deeper the laugh can be because the laughter heals the pain. So you've got to have the pain, and then you have the laugh. — Mimi Kennedy

... some wounds refuse the remedy of time. — Robert McCammon

USDA is committed to keeping pace with the needs and progress of American agriculture by supporting new markets and movements that will keep farmers profitable and help create middle class jobs across the country. — Tom Vilsack

Perfect alchemists I keep who can transmute substances without end, and thus the corner of my garden is an inexhaustible treasure-chest. Here you can dig, not gold, but the value which gold merely represents; and there is no Signor Blitz about it. — Henry David Thoreau

Women liked me because I made them laugh. — Mickey Rooney

This Bush administration has a growing credibility gap, maybe even a credibility chasm, on environmental policy. The President has lost the trust of the American people when it comes to the environment. — Jim Jeffords

I never would have guessed that matches and lighters would be among the things I'd miss the most if civilization collapsed — Mike Mullin

It is well known that women carry poison in their pockets. Did you expect a gun? A woman with a gun would be just another policeman. We fall in love with the convicts, remember that. Policemen marry girls from the neighborhood, high school looms over their unions, the first uniform is her prom dress and his black bow tie and white shirt. But the girls are thinking of poison, thinking of poison as the lights go out on the dresser where the revolver has been placed with care for the night. The black shoes, the fine, thick serge of the coat, shoulders and thighs of stallions. And the policemen are usually shot down by someone out of shape, thin, thin, nothing but living bones. Remember that. — Elizabeth Hardwick

Midget wrestling on channel 3, it costs me 50 bucks a month. — Al Yankovic

He breathed a momentary sigh of relief just before his body exploded in a shitstorm of blood and guts on a massive boulder along the windswept beach. — Billy Wells

Repeat not the manner of a flirtation; for lo, all the world shall hear of it, and women will taunt thee. — Gelett Burgess

Because if you had your eye to business, you could see places in the sewers where a tosher could hang on in a bubble of air while all around him the world raged. — Terry Pratchett