Top Gear Jeremy Quotes & Sayings

It couldn't pull a greased
stick out of a pig's bottom — Jeremy Clarkson

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster. — Jeremy Clarkson

Some say he never blinks, and that he roams around the woods at night foraging for wolves. All we know is he's called the Stig. — Jeremy Clarkson

Recently, I spent eight days in a car with my co-host from Top Gear James May, who has a notoriously flatulent bottom. But because he was living on army rations the interior was always pine fresh and lemon zesty. — Jeremy Clarkson

I'd like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God. — Jeremy Clarkson

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do? — Jeremy Clarkson

Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what BEING STABBED? — Jeremy Clarkson

I rang up Jay Kay, who's got one, and said: 'Can we borrow yours?' and he said, 'Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing.' — Jeremy Clarkson

I think people who watch 'Top Gear' think they're the only ones watching it, which I quite like, because it can hopefully last for a long time. — Jeremy Clarkson

I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time. — Jeremy Clarkson

The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite — Jeremy Clarkson

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow. — Jeremy Clarkson

Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You've heard she's mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn't
you? — Jeremy Clarkson

In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled. Usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was. — Jeremy Clarkson

I mean its a weekly occurrence that somebody will complain that Top Gear was on last night - and you just sit back and wait for the complaints. But if you start to pay attention to everyones concerns, you end up with something bland and boring. So you sort of have to ignore everybody in order to do the show how we want to do it. — Jeremy Clarkson