Top 200 Funny Quotes & Sayings

My parents had an arranged marriage, as did so many other people when I was growing up. My father came and had a life in the United States one way and my mother had a different one, and I was very aware of those things. I continue to wonder about it, and I will continue to write about it. — Jhumpa Lahiri

Peace is not a dream; it is hard work, and there is nothing naive, glamorous or simplistic about it. — Oscar Arias

That's Third Thoughts for you. When a huge rock is going to land on your head, they're the thoughts that think: Is that an igneous rock, such as granite, or is it sandstone? — Terry Pratchett

Add to that cauldron an ever increasing measure of cheap vodka--a form of self-medication that quelled the inner scream but amplified the outer crazy--and you get a picture of the mother I left behind. — Allen Eskens

How do you keep war accountable to the American people when war becomes invisible and virtual? — Michael Ignatieff

The true parents of creativity are curiosity and necessity. — Max McKeown

All writers are crazy. So never mind what the editors and your family and your critique group tells you. Submit your manuscripts and keep submitting until you get an offer. Then you can be crazy, with a paycheck. — MaryJanice Davidson

I am convinced that a light supper, a good night's sleep, and a fine morning, have sometimes made a hero of the same man, who, by an indigestion, a restless night, and rainy morning, would have proved a coward. — Lord Chesterfield

The old man asked again. "When I'm gone." His eyes blinked from behind his glasses. His neatly trimmed beard was gray, and he stood slightly stooped. Are you dying? I asked. "Not yet," he said, grinning. Then why - "Because I think you would — Mitch Albom

purple van pulled up to the curb. The side door rolled open. A cheerful male voice said, "Hey, there!" The last thing Alistair Oh saw was a large fist hurtling toward his face. — Rick Riordan

O troubled forms, O early love unfortunate and hard,
Time has estranged you into a jewel cold and pure — Edna St. Vincent Millay

Productivity is grounded in the PC. Where does the computing power come from? How would you run 'USA Today' without PCs? Run a hospital without PCs? People don't want products, they want solutions. — Michael Dell