Top 1000 Funny Quotes & Sayings

When the evening was over Alistair Cooke shook my hand goodbye and held it firmly, saying, 'This hand you are shaking once shook the hand of Bertrand Russell.'
'Wow!' I said, duly impressed.
'No, No,' said Cooke, 'It goes further than that. Bertrand Russell knew Robert Browning. Bertrand Russell's aunt danced with Napoleon. That's how close we all are to history. Just a few handshakes away. Never forget that. — Stephen Fry

The guy was cracking down on the Brotherhood, organizing shifts, trying to turn four loose cannons like V, Phury, Rhage, and Z into soldiers. No wonder he always looked like his head hurt. — J.R. Ward

Sometimes life takes hold of one, carries the body along, accomplishes one's history, and yet is not real, but leaves oneself as it were slurred over. — D.H. Lawrence

War is very uncertain in its results, and often when affairs look most desperate they suddenly assume a more hopeful state. — George Meade

We have a broad, well-positioned company, so when 'Minions' comes out, it can be in theme parks all over the world. We own Fandango. We can advertise on a network. We can have the characters pop up on the Golf Channel. — Brian L. Roberts

My music is bejewelled, it's colourful, it's romantic, it shines. — Carly Rae Jepsen

We do not conquer life, no one can conquer what one cannot define, but at least it is there and it is ours to shape and to possess fully, with all the senses working, with all the powers of the heart surging, as we search for the answer to the greatest riddle of them all- death, the ultimate end, the enemy of all men, the final quietus to the noblest of emotions, the tenacity and ethereal creativity of faith. — F. Sionil Jose

Everything we do for God will be the overflow of intimacy with God. — Dan Baumann