Three Stooges Quotes & Sayings

Shoulda, woulda, coulda. They were the Three Stooges of regret. All they were good for was saying whoop-whoop-whoop and smacking each other over the head. — Thea Harrison

So what do we do, dress up like orderlies and sneak him out in the laundry cart?"
"Something like that."
"Oh, c'mon, Spence, that routine is as old as the Three Stooges."
"Probably older," said Spence, laughing. "Actually I was thinking of something a little less dramatic."
"Like what?"
"Like just walking out with him."
Denny stared at Spence, then shook her head. "In one of the big hospitals in New York you might get away with that," she said, "but in a little tiny hospital like Down East Community, it'll never work."
"It might, if he's dressed like a woman," said Spence.
Denny thought for a minute, then nodded. "Maybe," she said. "But where are we going to get clothes to fit him? My mom and your mom are way too thin."
Spence smiled. "Miss Lizzie," he said.
Denny's eyes opened wide. "Miss Lizzie? Do you really think she'll do it?"
"She's waiting for us right now at the edge of town," said Spence. — Jackie French Koller

After doing comedy for a while and knowing how hard it is to do physical comedy right, I learned how incredibly talented the Three Stooges really were after re-watching old episodes. They still stand up! — Carly Craig

The Bushwhackers are living proof that the Three Stooges had children — Gorilla Monsoon

Why I oughta ... — The Three Stooges

You're not related to the Three Stooges are you? 'Cause I could swear this escape scene is one of theirs." ~ Jim — Katie MacAlister

I can't be a mummy, I'm a daddy! — Curly Howard

A perkier bit at the beginning of a Three Stooges comedy, Restless Knights (February 20, 1935), has Brennan playing their father, decked out in a large night cap and a fake white beard, lying on his deathbed calling for his sons. He confesses in tremolo that they are of royal blood: "Years ago I was the royal chamberlain of the Kingdom of Anesthesia." Now, he urges them to offer their swords in service of their imperiled queen. The quality of the writing is best exemplified in Brennan's telling Curly that his title is "Baron of Grey Matter." Brennan then says, "Come close my sons so that I may bless you," and rises enough to give them a sweeping triple slap, as the light fades on his 120-second part in this sixteen minute short. — Carl Rollyson

Curly: Wait a minute! Y'know I'm temperamental.
Moe: Ya, 95 percent temper,5 percent mental — The Three Stooges

No, I don't know why Bobby and Peter Farrelly bothered with a 'Three Stooges' movie, either. But if they're anything like some men I know, their love for Moe, Larry, and Curly (and an assortment of fourth bananas) is deep, abiding, and unembarrassable. In other words: How could the Farrellys not? — Wesley Morris

Three has always been tougher than Two. Think of any of your famous threesomes. The Three Stooges? Look at the anger there. My bet is that before Curly was born, Moe and Larry could play together for hours without even a single poke in the eye. Huey, Dewey, and Louie? Donald Duck never had a moment's peace. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly? I rest my case. — Paul Reiser

Women, they don't know what they're missing when it comes when it comes to the courageous comedy of the Three Stooges."
"Yes, yes, we do know what we're missing. We miss it on purpose."
Conversation between Flynn and Mallory in The Key of Light — Nora Roberts

When I was 14 years old, I was a huge fan of the Velvets, the Stooges and the Modern Lovers. They are my three favourite bands. I never get sick of 'em. — Evan Dando

Judge: Why don't you answer him?
Curly: He's tawkin' pig Latin! I dunno what he's sayin'!
Judge: He's asking you if you swear ... !
Curly: [cuts the judge off] No, but I know all the woid — The Three Stooges

What else don't women like besides the Three Stooges? Tom Waits. Being hurt physically or emotionally. — Julie Klausner

What are you doing with your face?" Krissi asked, as I made myself a cheese sandwich in the kitchen. Having been away for two nights, I had a sudden, giddying perspective on just how much margarine seemed permanently smeared on our worktops. This whole room was a health risk. "What do you mean?" I asked - increasing the smugness as I sliced the cheese. "Your face - it's clearly telling me to slap it," Krissi said, staring at me. "It's communicating with me on a frequency you can't hear. It's begging me to slap both cheeks at the same time, like the Three Stooges. — Caitlin Moran

I'm like the fucking Three Stooges of espionage. All three of 'em. All rolled into one! — Abigail Roux

There's a thousand reasons why I shouldn't drink ... but I can't think of one right now. — Shemp Howard

If at first you don't succeed, keep on succin' till you do succeed. — Curly Howard

Growing up, I missed the whole 'Three Stooges' thing. Either they weren't on the station in my hometown, or we hadn't bought a TV set yet, or they came to town too late for me. I'm pretty sure that at the right age, I would have loved them. — Roger Ebert

I mean, I do love clever and witty, but I think that the 'Three Stooges' were geniuses. They'd have to be for their appeal to have lasted this long. — Paula Poundstone

I grew up a huge fan of The Three Stooges and Monty Python, so somebody getting slapped in the face with a fish, or falling out of a chair, or running into a door, or tripping over their own feet and eating it, is all stuff I find really, really funny. — Thomas Sadoski

Moe: [Black Louie is using Larry as a human target for knife-throwing] Be careful you don't hit Larry.
Curly: Where is he?
Moe: Over there.
Curly: I don't see him.
Moe: Take off the glasses.
[Curly takes his glasses off]
Moe: Over there by the wall.
Curly: What wall? — The Three Stooges

I'm positive about the negative, but a little negative about the positive. — Curly Howard

Zuckerman shook his head. "You guys are funnier than the Three Stooges without Curly. Anyway, it's a helluva campaign. Esme is running it for me. Male and female lines. Not only have we got Crispin, but Esme's landed the numero uno female golfer in the world." "Linda Coldren?" Myron asked. "Whoa!" Norm clapped his hands once. "The Hebrew hoopster knows his golf! By the way, Myron, what kind of name is Bolitar for a member of the tribe?" "It's a long story," Myron said. "Good, I wasn't interested anyway. I was just being polite. Where was I?" Zuckerman threw one leg over the other, leaned back, smiled, looked about. A ruddy-faced man at a neighboring table glared. "Hi, there," Norm said with a little wave. "Looking good." The — Harlan Coben

'The Three Stooges' is great. And I was worried, just because there's so many things that have to go right. All three of those guys have to be amazing - everything has to be amazing. And everything went right. — Carly Craig

I'll be the first to admit it - after the first episode, I wasn't sold on Peter Capaldi as the new Doctor of 'Doctor Who,' with the bewildered Clara following behind like a lost puppy, haphazardly flinging aggression around like cream pies in a 'Three Stooges' marathon. — Rob Manuel

Tarantulas have also received a lot of
bad press in the movies. Many movies
and television programs starring such
noted actors as Sean Connery, The
Three Stooges, Harrison Ford, and
William Shatner, have featured tarantulas
as dangerous to humans or menaces to
civilization. The Tarantula That Ate Tokyo
is a long-standing joke among horrormovie buffs. The fact is that these
movies play with the ignorance and fears
passed on for generations by unenlightened people. Nobody would pay to see
the movie The Beagle That Ate Boston
since everybody knows what a beagle
really is. Few know tarantulas as well. — Stanley A Schultz

It is disconcerting to learn that while 73 percent of Americans can name the Three Stooges, only 42 percent can name the three branches of government.6 — Parker J. Palmer

Don't you dare hit me in the head ... you know I'm not normal. — Curly Howard

If you absolutely had to have sex with one of the Three Stooges, who would it be? — Douglas Carter Beane

Judge: Take the stand.
Curly: [picks the chair up] Where'll I put it?
Judge: No, no, take the stand!
Curly: I got it! Now what'll I do with it?
Court clerk: [angrily sets it back down] SIDDOWN! — The Three Stooges

As much as I love Antonioni films, I love the Three Stooges. — Joe Carnahan

Every time you think you weaken the nation. — Moe Howard

I'm trying to think, but nothing happens! — The Three Stooges

Amelia nodded her head, "That makes perfect sense."
"No is doesn't," jeered Otto.
"Yes, it does," sighed Amelia. "Don't you ever remember anything important?"
"Of course, I remember how many Star Trek seasons there were and when the Three Stooges were born! — Monet Polny

Two different primaries," she continued, striding around the office. "Two different cops, and both of them fucked up the case. What are they using to train them in Chicago
old videos of the Three Boobs?"
"I think that's Stooges," Roarke remarked.
"What?"
He glanced up, focused fully on her, and smiled at the absolute baffled fury on her face. "Stooges, darling. The Three Stooges."
"What's the difference, they're still incompetent knot-heads. — J.D. Robb

I've got to say, I've probably seen a lot more of the Three Stooges than of the Marx Brothers. — Spike Jonze