Quotes & Sayings About Therapy Humor

She forces me to endure this ridiculous therapy, when the so-called counselors are little better than misguided do-gooders with degrees.
-Artemis Fowl — Eoin Colfer

Using no control and using humor will build a relationship and make a dent to where the client puts the counselor in their quality world and then begins to relate and seek out the counselor. Effective therapy begins with the acceptance of the therapist into the client's quality world. — William Glasser

I notice his socks are unmatched -- one black, the other a dark navy -- and suddenly I am provoked by his gall. Who is he to tell me I'm angry, I think to myself, when he can't even match his own socks? — Kathy Hatfield

Wisteria hangs over the eaves like clumps of ghostly grapes. Euphorbia's pale blooms billow like sea froth. Blood grass twists upward, knifing the air, while underground its roots go berserk, goosing everything in their path. A magnolia, impatient with vulvic flesh, erupts in front of the living room window. The recovering terrorist
holding a watering can filled with equal parts fish fertilizer and water, paisley gloves right up over her freckled forearms, a straw hat with its big brim shading her eyes, old tennis shoes speckled with dew
moves through her front garden. Her face, she tells herself, like a Zen koan. The look of one lip smiling. — Zsuzsi Gartner

Marathon: (noun)
A popular form of overpriced torture wherein participants wake up at ass-o-clock in the morning and stand in the freezing cold until it's time to run, at which point they miserably trot for a god-awful interval of time that could be better spent sleeping in and/or consuming large quantities of beer and cupcakes.
See also: masochism, awfulness, "a bunch of bullshit", boob-chafing, cupcake deprivation therapy — Matthew Inman

He worried that too much alone time was a bad thing. Socializing was therapeutic and was a cure for most mental issues in the world. Of course, I argued so was a double dose of Adderall, a personal phone call from Jesus and electric shock therapy. However, soon after, my cell phone died and the jumper cables for my car went missing. — Shannon L. Alder

Comedy has ceased to be a challenge to the mental processes. It has become a therapy of relaxation, a kind of tranquilizing drug. — James Thurber

You don't scare me, Cadence Jones. I've lived with crazy, I've ridden with crazy, I've vacationed with crazy, I've visited crazy in various hospitals, I've sat in on therapy sessions with crazy. Frankly, I think women who don't have major emotional disorders are really very dull. — MaryJanice Davidson

She was thinking of doing a little Cuervo therapy. — Kelly Moran

Healing is not only a specific method, healing is also to invite another person into our own inner light, to invite another person into our presence, love, joy, acceptance, humor, understanding, playfulness, meditation and silence. Healing can also be a loving word, an understanding glance, a present touch, a silent listening or simply joking with another person and making him or her happy. Humor is also one of the strongest healing powers to see our situation and ourselves in a new and creative light. — Swami Dhyan Giten

Well, hell, Eve. If you need to run off to you dressmaker, or take your cat to therapy, Peabody and I can handle this minor matter of murder."
Eve lips stretched in a vicious smile. "Bite me, Casto. — J.D. Robb

Of course, a culture as manically and massively materialistic as ours creates materialistic behavior in its people, especially in those people who've been subjected to nothing but the destruction of imagination that this culture calls education, the destruction of autonomy it calls work, and the destruction of activity it calls entertainment. — James Hillman

In Hollywood if you don't have a shrink, people think you're crazy. — Johnny Carson

It must be said here, however, that among the activities that all LTTE members, both men and women, enjoyed most was reminiscing about events of the past. Watching them enjoying such conversations, one would think that they were the happiest people on earth because the interactions would be filled with laughter. They would discuss dead comrades, past battles, instances of near capture by the Lankan Military, receiving punishment from superiors, etc. But all of these subjects were discussed with a sense of humor. One SLMM member, who had noticed this without being able to understand the language, once commented that for a set of liberation fighters they did spend an awful lot of time talking and laughing. All of them indeed carried with them a great deal of painful memories and this, it seemed, was their therapy — N. Malathy

Artemis: (shocked) Why, Doctor? This is a sensitive area. For all you know I could be suffering from depression.
Doctor Po: I suppose you could. Is that the case?
Artemis: (head in hands) It's my mother, Doctor.
Doctor Po: Yes?
Artemis: My mother, she ...
Doctor Po: Your mother, yes?
Artemis: She forces me to endure this ridiculous therapy when the school's so-called counsellors are little better than misguided do-gooders with degrees. — Eoin Colfer

I've had a lot of therapists, so I've had the opportunity to approach my fear in many different ways. I've faced it head on and sideways and tried to tiptoe up behind it. — Anna White

Futures can and do change, something as simple as you're supposed to turn right down a street one day ... In your bones u know it, and yet for reasons no one understands, you decide to debunk fate and go left. Now instead of meeting your spouse of your dreams and having a house full of kids, you get flattened by an ice-cream truck and spend the next 5 years in physical therapy recovering from the injuries; or worse you die from it. And all cause you exercised free will and turned the opposite way on a whim. — Sherrilyn Kenyon

My parents are in many ways embodiments of the American Dream. They came to this country with basically nothing but the clothes on their backs, and after twenty years of hard work, sweat, and sacrifice, they were getting divorced, totally broke, and deep in therapy. — David Henry Sterry

The first thing the therapist asked me was, 'Are you here because you're depressed?' I said, 'Not at all--I'm here because I'm Southern.'" Anne Herndon — Maryln Schwartz

He thought about going out and buying a Sunday paper but decided not to. Arnold Stockton, Jessica's boss, a many-chinned, self-made caricature of a man, owned all the Sunday papers that Rupert Murdoch had failed to buy. His own papers talked about him, and so did the rest. Reading a Sunday paper would, Richard suspected, probably end up reminding him of the dinner had failed to attend on Friday night. So instead Richard had a long hot bath and a number of sandwiches, and several cups of tea. — Neil Gaiman

If you get a diagnosis, get on a therapy, keep a good attitude and keep your sense of humor. — Teri Garr

ISABEL: Sorry I missed my session Monday.
DR. RUSH: Would you like to tell me why?
ISABEL: I was depressed.
DR. RUSH: That's a good reason to come to therapy. — Lisa Lutz

The woman spoke with a heavy western North Carolina accent, which I used to discredit her authority. Here was a person for whom the word 'pen' had two syllables. He people undoubtedly drank from clay jugs and hollered for Paw when the vittles were ready
so who was she to advise me on anything? — David Sedaris

What's up?" I asked.
You tell me," he said. "You were the one about ready to start making out with Adrian."
It was an experiment," I said. "It was part of my therapy."
What the hell kind of therapy are you in? — Richelle Mead

A comedian is simply a different kind of therapist. A comedian is a psychologist and a psychiatrist rolled into one. Except I can't prescribe medicine. (You still need a doctorate, which is bullshit.) Okay, so I'm not like a psychiatrist. Fine. But I'm still like a psychologist (except I can't diagnose or treat mental illness). — Eugene Mirman

Humor is a passive form of terrorism, of resistance, and of pseudo-aggression that has less to do with changing the world than with mental hygiene. It is self-therapy... — Romain Gary

She's a lot more than nice," Gran said with a leer, "after our last date, I came home with my face looking like a glazed donut. That gal's juices are flowing. She must be on some kind of hormone replacement therapy. — Nick Pageant

."Therapy," Gary said. "I'm going to need so much therapy. It's like watching cows mating and it's wet and sticky and uncomforttable but I can't look away because I'm worried some of it is going to get on me.". — T.J. Klune

Retail therapy - usually one of my first resorts - wasn't working; I felt like a cat that smelled pit bull. — M.L.N. Hanover

If I think she' hot and it turns out she's a psychopath, then what does that say about me? I'm totally not ready for that kind of therapy. — Barry Lyga

I'm not your boyfriend!" I snapped, trying to gently move her hands away from my body.
"How can you say that?" Sara asked in horror.
"It's shockingly effortless," I replied. "My vocal chords vibrate, and my mouth and tongue articulate. I can even do it without thinking." I had to remind myself to stay calm, and sarcasm was the best way to do that.
"When are you going to give me a key to your house so I don't have to knock like some guest?" Sara asked, coming at me again.
I backed away. "How about never? Is never good for you?"
Sara, undeterred, said, "You're the reason I go to therapy on Fridays."
"The plot thickens!" Gabby exclaimed for comedic relief. — Laura Kreitzer

I hear they make greeting cards now
to thank your therapist ... for NOTHING — Casey Renee Kiser

I think therapy is a rather misguided notion of capitalist societies whereby the self-indulgent examination of one's life supersedes the actual living of said life. — Peter Cameron