The Last Time I Checked Quotes & Sayings

I welcome opposing viewpoints, but I should warn you that you'll be facing off against the 2nd-place finisher at the 1981 Charleston County High-School Debate Tournament. And whatever became of that county champ who argued in favor of tractor safety modifications? Last time I checked, she didn't have her own show. — Stephen Colbert

So, let me get this straight
You want me to stop being a lesbian and being attracted to women because it is a 'sin'? Last time I checked, when you lie you are sinning. Sure, I could tell you I am no longer a lesbian or that I am no longer attracted to women and am straight, or I could even tell you the moon is made of cheese. I could tell you many things, but the moon will still not be made of cheese, and I will still not be attracted to men. I could tell you a lie in order to placate you, but isn't the truth supposed to set me free? I choose truth over lies any day of the week. — Cristina Marrero

I told you I was powerful - not my fault you failed to listen. I'm helping fight the Hunters now and you'll be lucky if my aim doesn't accidently-on-purpose veer and kill you. In fact, I don't think I'll wait for you." She glanced over at the tunnels and counted with a point of her finger. "See you in the ... second one over, sweetcakes. That's where the biggest, baddest Hunter was, last time I checked. I'll just pretend he's you and nail his ass to the wall. — Gena Showalter

What's your name?"
"What do you want it to be?"
"Are you a vampire?"
"Not the last time I checked. — Kresley Cole

We've already got gays in the military. We always have had. World War Two, the Western Allies had fourteen million men in uniform. Any kind of reasonable probability says at least a million of them were gay. And we won that war, as I recall, last time I checked with the history books. We won it big time. — Lee Child

I know every time I fly, I get checked twice: they stop me at security, and then, they get me again at the gate. And last time, it was so bad, they actually made me go through the machine with the luggage. — Wanda Sykes

Last time I checked, the digital universe was expanding at the rate of five trillion bits per second in storage and two trillion transistors per second on the processing side. — George Dyson

When we're at our weakest, God's at His strongest. We serve a powerful God, boy, and last time I checked, He was still on the throne. — Michelle Griep

Only problem with the whole scheme, really, is that Lauren's about to blow up the planet. See, that's the part you aren't in on. The thing in the Box? It's an angel. And it's really old and really pissed off." "You're bluffing," Nicky said. "Are we?" Caitlin shrugged. "We're keeping things under wraps to avoid a panic, but a full report's been delivered to the prince and his inner council. A council which, last time I checked, includes your father. Why don't you get in touch with him? Ask him who Belephaia is." He looked from her to me and back again, resting his hand on his desk phone. His brow furrowed as he worked out the implications. — Craig Schaefer

Last time I checked, Congress was created to uphold the values of the Constitution, not the Bible and its biased teachings. 'All men (including women) are created equal' and are afforded unalienable rights. Way to go, Mr. President! Stand up for what you believe and for the people of this country. — Barack Obama

Lend sat up,craning his neck to see down my shirt,which I hurriedly pushed back into place. "Last time I checked, you couldn't see souls."
He shrugged,an exaggerated look of innocence on his face. "Still,it wouldn't hurt for me to try,would it?"
"You have got to be the most sefless boyfriend alive."
"Like I said,anything worthwhile is worth making sacrifices for."
"Speaking of which,weren't you going to give me a tongue demonstration? — Kiersten White

How did you find me? If you hacked into the Club's computer to look up my appointments - "
"Whoa, I think you overestimate me, shitlord. Last time I checked all I did was be in the wrong place at the right time. I saw you and had to - "
"Stalk me."
" - delicately approach you. In a sideways manner. From behind. Without being seen at all. For ten minutes. — Sara Wolf

Cael, come on. Stop licking the dude. That's gross."

Letty let out a snort. "Please, like you don't lick dudes."

"That's different," Dex explained with a grimace. "None of those dudes were Ash. Besides, last time I checked, Ash was allergic to nuts. — Charlie Cochet

Apollo stepped toward Athena. "Let's break down this idea step-by-step. How would we be able to use Perses? The last time I checked, he was in Tartarus."
"He is still there." Athena tipped her chin up. "And as you know, he is not dead. He is only entombed."
"And how do you think we're going to release him?" Apollo demanded, brows slashed. "Zeus would never agree to this."
"I am Zeus' favorite child." Her smile beamed. Apollo's blue eyes rolled. — Jennifer L. Armentrout

The last time I checked, I wasn't the one who tripped over a glass container of sugar that I had myself dropped ... after, of course, having received several bruises from an attempt to retrieve a flip-flop that had somehow ended up in the sink. — Gina Marinello-Sweeney

And i was buck-naked. Which probably would have made for an interesting night, but the last time i'd checked i was neither a porn star or a prostitute. — Kristin Walker

Last I looked - and I'm not a candidate - but last time I checked reading about the Constitution, the Electoral College has nothing to do with parties, has absolutely nothing to do with parties. It's most states are winners take all. — Michael Bloomberg

You all have functional brains, last time I checked," I say. "You can think like the Erudite, too."
"But we don't have special Divergent brains!" says Marlene. She touches her fingertips to my scalp and squeezes lightly. "Come on, do your magic. — Veronica Roth

You, Mr. Bernard,". "Last time I checked they don't pay you to ogle teenage girls. They pay
you to teach. So start teaching."
Mr. Bernard jumps in his chair, clears his throat, and hurriedly goes to the whiteboard and starts writing equations. I salute Jack as I bow out the door.
"Have a great day, Jackoff."
"Try not to get molested, cow," He snaps. — Sara Wolf

In that case, it's good that you're a human Cuisinart," she said.
"I'm sorry?"
"A Cuisinart. It's an appliance from the Broken. You put vegetables into it, push a button, and it chops them into tiny pieces."
Richard frowned. "Why would you need an appliance to chop vegetables? Wouldn't it be easier to chop them with a knife?"
"It's meant to save time," she explained.
"Does it?"
"Well, cleaning it usually eats up most of the time you save on chopping."
"So you're telling me that I'm useless."
"It's a neat gadget!"
"And I'm hard to clean, apparently."
She checked his face. Tiny sparks danced in his eyes. He was pulling her leg. Well. If that's how it is ... "Considering last night's argument, I think that you're remarkably difficult to clean."
"There probably is a retort to this that's not off-color," he said. "But I can't think of one. — Ilona Andrews

Maybe I wanted children, maybe I didn't, but I wanted the decision to be a choice, not a mandate. Last time I checked, childlessness was only supposed to be a condition of career advancement for nuns. — Peggy Orenstein

Better yet, why don't you tell us why you're here?"
"Last time I checked, I live here, too," Collin said.
"Not you, that ... that ... ," Mr. Taylor said, pointing at me with his fork.
"Pig!" Regan shouted at me.
Collin's head whipped around in her direction.
"I'm sorry?" I asked, caught off guard.
"Pig ... do you want some of the roasted pig?" she asked, holding a platter of meat. — Nicole Gulla

Well, last time I checked, if you don't eat, you starve to death. Same thing happens when you don't love, only you starve to death on the inside instead of the outside. Either way you die. So seems to me eat'n and love'n have a lot more in common than you think. — Adrienne Wilder

The last time I checked,I didn't have any special talent,thought Kara.Can I paint a demon to death?Drown it in some gouache? — Kim Richardson

It's a Belgian beer, sweetie. Please tell me you've at least heard of it. (Blaine)
Boy, I was born in Brussels and the last time I checked, this was my new homeland, America, not my birthplace. So you can either order an American-made beer or I'll bring you water and you can sit there and act all superior until you puke, okay? (Aimee) — Sherrilyn Kenyon

The last time I checked, relevance wasn't a fruit of the Spirit. For those who place such a premium on looking like, acting like, and sounding like the world, it should come as no surprise that they have no influence on the world. They often confuse acceptance by the world around them with actual Kingdom results in impacting their world. It is as though there is a deep insecurity at the root, and they are desperate to prove that you can be "Christian and cool. — Robert Stearns

Luck? Good luck? GM, the last time I checked, luck is for losers. — CM Punk

I just think Rosa Parks was overrated. Last time I checked, she got famous for breaking the law. — Stephen Colbert

I don't even like the word 'indoors'. It doesn't make sense. According to you right now, by stepping through the doorway I'd be indoors. Yet I wouldn't actually be standing in the doorway. If it's supposed to refer to being inside a building, then they shouldn't have used the word 'door,' since last time I checked, doors don't make up every square inch of a building! And I'd assume that now, since I'm not indoors, you'd say I'm 'out of doors', right? But, shouldn't out of doors just be everywhere that's not directly under a door? You know what, from now on I insist that everyone refer to being in a building as being 'under-roof'. — Natalie Bina

He lunged again. This time I stood my ground and he checked his leap at the last second ... and toppled sideways. I didn't hide my laugh that time. His face twisted fast, grabbed my pajama leg and wrenched, and down I went.
Bully — Kelley Armstrong

It was seven-thirty. The dance started in half an hour. And I was buck-naked. Which probably would have made an interesting night, but the last time I'd checked I was neither a porn star nor a prostitute.
I'd already tried on every half-decent outfit, every quarter-decent outfit, even every limit-of-f-as-decent-approaches-zero-is-infinity outfit. — Kristin Walker

Last time I checked I was able to throw the ball a little bit. — Robert Griffin III

Kolya rose to a crouch and crept to the front door, keeping his head below the window line. I followed. We kneeled with our backs against the door. Kolya checked his pistol one last time. I pulled the German knife from my ankle sheath. I knew I looked silly holding it, the way a young boy looks holding his father's shaving razor. Kolya grinned at me as though he was about to start laughing. This is all very strange, I thought. I am in the middle of a battle and I am aware of my own thoughts, I am worried about how stupid I look with a knife in my hand while everyone else came to fight with rifles and machine guns. I am aware that I am aware. Even now, with bullets buzzing through the air like angry hornets, I cannot escape the chatter of my brain. — David Benioff

I hope they don't think we're leaving. I want to tell them we're coming back. And that we're not going to hell. I mean, who are they to say? It's one thing to warn someone out of concern. It's another to take it upon yourself to make the damnation. The last time I checked, it was the Lord's call whether or not we go to hell. I hope whenever a person tells another person he or she is going to hell that the Lord notices and decides to hold it against the hell-caller when his or her day of judgement comes. I hope heor she gets up to the gates and the Lord says, 'It was so easy for you to send people to hell in My name that I'm afraid it's going to be easy for Me to do the same. — David Levithan

Just say "I'm sorry." It's not a tongue twister. It does not need repeating multiple times. The phrase is simple and short, easy to articulate. And the last time I checked, it sounded just as good - if not better - in a whisper. So just say it; say "I'm sorry. — Richelle E. Goodrich

Have Tottenham closed the gap on Arsenal?
Last time I checked they were still 4 miles and 11 titles away — Arsene Wenger

The last time I checked, the only difference between my gay friends and I is who we choose to love. I'm not sure how that warrants a loss of rights, but it needs to stop. What ever happened to liberty and justice for all? — Pink

Kate, perhaps you need to explain to your significant other that he is in no position to give me orders. Last time I checked, his title was Beast Lord, which is a gentle euphemism for a man who strips nude at night and runs around through the woods hunting small woodland creatures. I'm a premier Master of the Dead. I will go where I please. — Ilona Andrews

We are all a little broken. But last time I checked, broken crayons still color the same. — Trent Shelton

Fran blinked. Fran removed a biscuit from her bag, taking a thoughtful bite and chewing slowly before she swallowed. And finally, Fran asked the question that Jonathan had been waiting for ever since she said that she was going to accompany him to Gentling, Maine: "How'n the hell do you fuck a mermaid? Fish ain't got vaginas, last time I checked. — Seanan McGuire

Moms never get out of the kid business. Last time I checked, motherhood had no expiration date. — Lisa Scottoline