The Good Guys Funny Quotes & Sayings

Any movie you see, if Tom Cruise is in an action movie or whatever it is, The Avengers, there's going to be a kick-ass female character. Usually one. And there's a term for this, but I don't know what it is. But someone's coined a term where there's one female character who's incredibly tough and strong and just as good as the guys at whatever it is they're doing, and usually wearing black, skin-tight clothes, and [she] has no personality whatsoever, and is not funny. — Geena Davis

Good comics stick around. There are people who have TV shows that might be successful, but comics can't really fake it. If you say, 'Hey, I love what you guys are doing - you're funny,' then you're in. It's legit. — Wanda Sykes

Girls like good-looking guys, and I am not very good-looking. In fact, I sort of look like a pudding — Jesse Andrews

I no longer find such pleasure in that preeminently good society, of which I was once so fond. It seems to me that beneath a cloak of clever talk it proscribes all energy, all originality. If you are not a copy, people accuse you of being ill-mannered. — Stendhal

I'm fine. Indestructible. — Richard Bach

Did you really just invite Adrian to your room later?" asked Lissa.
Avery shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe. Sometimes we hang out once you guys are all tucked into bed. You aren't going to get jealous, are you?"
"No," laughed Lissa.
"Just curious. Adrian's a good guy."
"Oh?" asked Christian. "Define 'good'." Avery held up her hand and began ticking items off with each finger. "He's devastatingly handsome, funny, rich, related to the queen ... "
"You got your wedding colors picked out?" asked Lissa, still laughing.
"Not yet," said Avery. "I'm still testing the waters. I figured he'd be an easy notch on the Avery Lazar belt, but he's kind of hard to read."
"I really don't want to be hearing this," Christian said. — Richelle Mead

I drag a finger over his chest and down his stomach, tracing the red, circular scar that, for three months of his life, was an opening that attached to a colostomy bag, an object that seemed to rob Marshall of his ability to be, well, Marshall - someone who lives for activity and vibrant levels of energy. He's got all that back now and is fully recovered. — Julie Cross

Getting help from a guy like you is like hiring a pyromaniac to fix the oil-burner. — Stephen King

Now women are funny animals. You never know when you are with them - they don't often know where they are with themselves . It's no good trying to find out what makes them tick. It just can't be done. They have more moods than an army of cats with lives, and all you can hope is to spot the mood you're after when it turns up and step in quick. Hesitate you're a dead duck, unless you're one of those guys who like slow approach that might get you somewhere in a week or in a month or even a year. — James Hadley Chase

Static cackled from the cafeteria speaker. A bored female voice come on. "Victoria Brennan, please report to the headmaster's office. Victoria Brennan to the headmaster's office."
Classmates glanced our way. Whispers sprang up around me.
"Not good." Shelton was reaching for his earlobe.
"Tell them you have amnesia," Hi said. "Or dementia. Pretend you're Joan of Arc."
"Thanks for the support, guys. If I'm not back for class, look for my body in the harbor."
Hiram's hand flew up. "I call her iTunes collection. Shelton can have the mutt."
"Nice. — Kathy Reichs

The guys on the stunt team are really fantastic. It's really funny, because for all the aggression they have to display on screen, they're actually really happy, good- natured people. — Miranda Otto

It's so pretentious, but I believe that with comedy, if you have a good story, 90% of it is casting. Once you get the guys and gals in there, it's pretty easy to make a funny movie. — Matt Walsh

There are nice, funny, totally good-looking guys out there. You just have to know where to look ... and apparently, where NOT to look. — Meg Cabot

I am good at down grading - I have found I can live the same lifestyle in a two-bedroom apartment as in a five-bedroom house. — Britt Ekland

Every girls' night needs a funny movie and a good conversation about guys! My friends and I also love picking outfits out for each other to try on at slumber parties. It's so fun. — Jennette McCurdy

I'm a big fan of certain new acts. I love any genre of music, and I think it's really great to see that there are new artists coming through. It's kinda funny to think that I'm like the old man on campus now. But I'm really happy for groups like One Direction. I think they're really good guys. — Joe Jonas

Most of the beauties of travel are due to the strange hours we keep to see them — William Carlos Williams

Backup?" Tori said. "You mean he didn't need that?"
"Apparently not," I murmured.
Simon looked from her to me, confused, then understanding. "You guys thought ... "
"That if you didn't get your medicine in the next twenty-four hours, you'd be dead?" I said. "Not exactly, but close. You know, the old 'upping the ante with a fatal disease that needs medication' twist. Apparently, it still works."
"Kind of a letdown, then, huh?"
"No kidding. Here we were, expecting to find you minutes from death. Look at you, not even gasping."
"All right, then. Emergency medical situation, take two."
He leaped to his feet, staggered, keeled over, then lifted his head weakly.
"Chloe? Is that you?" He coughed. "Do you have my insulin?"
I placed it in his outstretched hand.
"You saved my life," he said. "How can I ever repay you?"
"Undying servitude sounds good. I like my eggs scrambled."
He held up a piece of fruit. "Would you settle for a bruised apple? — Kelley Armstrong

I'm keeping in shape, you know, gotta look good for the ladies - and certain guys. Hey, I can't control who's looking. I just gotta bring the heat. — Ted Alexandro

Nice guys finish last but that's what makes them good in bed. — Nicholas M. Bugden

You spend your whole life grieving for those who haven't died yet. — Orson Scott Card

The cake had a trick candle that wouldn't go out, so I didn't get my wish. Which was just that it would always be like this, that my life could be a party just for me. — Janet Fitch

I strive to be brief but I become obscure. — Horace

She always thought Americans were too territorial. 'All those fences and flags,' she had once said, seeing very little difference between the two. — Dinaw Mengestu

What we are is seldom what we want to be, while what we want to be is either denied us or changes with the seasons. — Gore Vidal

Stand-up is an art but since it's humor and it's funny - a lot of guys that don't think it's art are probably coming from the angle that they don't want to take it so seriously. I've always looked at it as an art but I don't look at it as a pretentious art. I understand it has to be taken lightly because it is just comedy in the end, but the good stand-up comics are someone with something to say. — Mitch Hedberg

One shining quality lends a lustre to another, or hides some glaring defect. — William Hazlitt

He was sensitive, so he had to be kind. I think of it whenever I see a young woman fawning all over a nerdy guy, some comedian or actor, thinking he couldn't ever be cruel because he's funny and he wears glasses. He's not conventionally hot, so he's not full of himself, so he'll be a good boyfriend, right?...Guys like that always seem to think they're Duckie from Pretty in Pink when they're actually Steff. — Mara Wilson

Our souls must become expanded by the contemplation of Nature's grandeur, before we can fully comprehend the greatness of man. — Heinrich Heine

I'd be at someone's house or be up on the roof all day and I'd get lonely - stir crazy - and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life. But the idea that I was making $10 an hour and stacking drywall while these guys were making a few hundred thousand, and they were having a party, and there were Playmates and there were good times, I just couldn't imagine it. — Adam Carolla