Tematuri Quotes & Sayings

The nerds are rich and successful, and those jocks are dumb divorced guys with beer bellies. By the way, in high school, I also played football and, yes, I have a beer belly. Jeannie can't divorce me. We are Catholic. Thank you, Jesus. — Jim Gaffigan

Patience is not something that you keep; patience is something that you learn. How is patience learnt? By sitting with those who have patience and by observing those who have patience. — Dada Bhagwan

I'd rather have a lot of little donations than a couple big ones. That shows that people care and are giving what they can. — Steve Grand

You don't know Jack ... yet! But once you do he's impossible to forget! — Michelle Hughes

The principal industrial excellence of the English people lay in their capacity of present exertion for a distant object. — Samuel Smiles

I think English people were a lot better at breakdancing than they were at making records. — Norman Cook

STAY HOME FROM SCHOOL FAUX VOMIT:
1 cup of cooked oatmeal
1.2 cup of sour cream (or buttermilk ranch dressing or anything that smells like rancid, sour milk)
2 chopped cheese sticks (for chunkiness)
1 uncooked egg (for authentic slimy texture)
1 can of split pea soup (for putrid green color)
1/4 cup of raisins (to increase gross-osity)
Mix ingredients and simmer over low heat for 2 minutes
Let mixture cool to warm vomit temperature
Use liberally as needed
Makes 4 to 5 cups — Rachel Renee Russell