Tell Your Girlfriend Quotes & Sayings

Otrera stayed dead the second time," Kinzie said, batting her eyes. "We have to thank you for that. If you ever need a new girlfriend ... well, I think you'd look great in an iron collar and an orange jumpsuit."
Percy couldn't tell if she was kidding or not. He politely thanked her and changed seats. — Rick Riordan

I think sensitive is the wrong description of me. I'm British, actually, so quite bad at expressing myself in conversation, as any ex-girlfriend will tell you. I'm probably emotionally stunted. — James Blunt

My girlfriend wants an open relationship. I said no way. What kind of man would I be if I had to tell my friends I date you? — Anthony Jeselnik

An accountant would not make his girlfriend worry he while he was away at work"
"Yeah," Jonas shot back with a smile, "but he also wouldn't have a milf girlfriend either."
I felt my eyes round as Tate said in a father's warning tone but still I could tell from his voice he was smiling huge, "Bub."
"Dad, seriousloy, she's milf," Jonas returned.
"Think it, boy, don't say it." Tate replied.
"Right," Jonas muttered but he was still smiling at me and his smile was unrepentant.
Jonas had called me a milf.
I knew what that meant and I didn't know what to do with it.
Seriously, Tate from head to toe. — Kristen Ashley

But, I tell you this, there is no way a man as man as him swings for the rainbow. No way. Shame for Sway, but girlfriend, as beautiful as you are, this is good news. — Harper Sloan

I'm different now, but back then I used to be the type of guy who would say, "I like you. Do you also like me or not? No? Tell me the truth. I'll give you time to think about it!" But now This isn't a lie but I've had 3 girlfriends, and I've dated each of them for 3 years. When it comes to dating, I'm the type who would be with someone for a long time. Before we start dating, I'd keep watching her. It's because I hate being hurt. I tend to give my everything once I date — Yunho

You didn't tell Summer about it, did you?"
"What?" Gage scoffs. "Yeah, telling your girlfriend the Angel of Death might visit her if some switch is flipped is normal pillow talk. — Laura Kreitzer

All my friends are always telling me how hard it is to have kids. 'Oh, David, it's so hard.' That's not hard. I'll tell you what hard is. Try talking your girlfriend into her third consecutive abortion. Yeah, that's hard, that takes finesse. You're just inconvenienced. — David Cross

Here is how you meet women: You tell the girls you are friends with - the ones in relationships - that you want a girlfriend. You shouldn't even have to say 'Set me up' or 'Introduce me!' If they're good girls, they'll get the hint. — Julie Klausner

You threatened to tell his girlfriend he'd been involved with you? (Hunter)
No, I threatened to tell Brittany he made a pass at me if he didn't help. He's a slimeball I wouldn't let touch my dead philodendron. (Abbie) — Sherrilyn Kenyon

Shh!" the guy beside me hissed again.
"Blame him," I told the guy, pointing at Patch. The guy craned his neck back.
"Listen," he said, facing me again. "If you don't quiet down, I'll get security."
"Fine, go get security. Tell them to take him away," I said, again signaling Patch. "Tell them he wants to kill me."
"I want to kill you," hissed the guy's girlfriend, — Becca Fitzpatrick

I think you like other things better than me," he said on Gmail chat that night. "I mean generally you like things that aren't people. More than people. Like eating or sleeping or something. If you don't want to do something then just tell me and we don't have to be boyfriend and girlfriend anymore, instead of just pretending or something."
"I want to be boyfriend and girlfriend," said Dakota Fanning. "I am learning. I know what to do."
"I don't understand when people don't do what they say they want to do."
"Me either," said Dakota Fanning. "That's why I don't understand myself or like myself."
"I still don't understand," said Haley Joel Osment.
"I'm killing myself," said Dakota Fanning. "Good night. — Tao Lin

It ruffles me a bit, not being able to tell apart my best friend from my girlfriend from this distance. But then one of the figures dashes across the sandy trail and jumps into my arms and I'm reasonably sure it's Liv and not Perry. — Veronica Rossi

I'm starting to think I'll probably never have a girlfriend, which would be okay too. On those few occasions when a girl has actually flirted with me, tipped her head sideways and laughed at some stupid remark, all it did was make me angry. It seemed like she was playing a game with idiotic rules. First you laugh, then you tell a pretty lie, then you stick your tongue in each other's mouths, then you say something really mean and hurtful to each other, then you go off to find somebody else who wants to play the game. This is an activity for intelligent people? I think not. — Ellen Wittlinger

What do you mean, is that it? I just saved his career and the CIA from ruin and he calls me a perfidious ass."
"What's perfidious mean?" Ace asked from the driver's seat.
"You deceived him and stole his girlfriend out from under his nose," Julia said to Conrad. "I think technically 'ass' is a pretty mild revilement."
"Revilement?" Ace looked at one and then the other in his rearview. "This is some kind of spy talk, isn't it? Okay, I'm down with it. Just tell me what it means. — Misty Evans

You're my best friend and I love you. I'm not ashamed to admit that I love a guy. I love you, Holder. Daniel Weasley loves Dean Holder. Always and forever."
"Daniel, go make out with your girlfriend," he says, waving me off.
I shake my head. "Not until you tell me you love me, too."
His head falls back against Sky's headboard. "I fucking love you, now GO AWAY!"
I grin. "I love you more. — Colleen Hoover

What did you tell me, Jesse? Sure Jake, Stephanie will do exactly what you tell her. Sure Jake, protecting her will be a piece of cake. "
Snorting in disbelief, he added, "Being at war is safer compared to this shit, and it's a hell of a lot easier than looking after your girlfriend. — Nina D'Angelo

If you make your best friend and your significant other the same person, you don't have to disconnect to go tell your girlfriend everything. — Niecy Nash

Destruction is a true sign of devotion. As I always tell my girlfriend when she threatens to kill me. 'You should kill me and it would tell me that you love me. — Billy Corgan

Isaac, tell your girlfriend she can't bring weapons into holy-shit-your-spider's-on-fire! — Jim C. Hines

I got in a fight with my girlfriend," I said. "I was just driving around, blowing off steam, you know?"
Well, you should be more careful where you drive," the officer said. "You're making people nervous. You don't fit the profile of the neighborhood."
I wanted to tell him that I didn't fit the profile of the country but I knew it would just get me into trouble. — Sherman Alexie

A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin, I said how can you tell them apart, he said "her brothers got a moustache!" — Billy Connolly

He continued with his research until he found a book entitled The Ultimate Dating Guide: How To Find The Perfect Girlfriend and Keep Them. He flipped through the contents and found the chapter called flirting with confidence. He took out a pen and notebook from his back pocket and scribbled some notes. Praise her body the book advised. Tell her you find her attractive. He decided he would record the key phrases and chose the right moment to recite these to Katie. He wrote you have come to bed eyes. Your eyes were the key to the soul and I like what I see — Annette J. Dunlea

And the poser has a girlfriend. Ten years younger. The Blond Weed, Ove calls her. Tottering around the streets like an inebriated panda on heels as long as box wrenches, with clown paint all over her face and sunglasses so big that one can't tell whether they're a pair of glasses or some kind of helmet. She also has one of those handbag animals, running about off the leash and pissing on the paving stones outside Ove's house. She thinks Ove doesn't notice, but Ove always notices. — Fredrik Backman

How does a guy tell his girlfriend he has no idea who she is? Who he himself is? He doesn't tell her. He pretends, just like he's been pretending with everyone else. - Silas Nash — Tarryn Fisher

He always had a different girlfriend and you could tell they were all easy but a nun would turn easy at one look at Luke. — Kristen Ashley

I can't tell you how great it is to get away with a girlfriend for four days shopping in Paris. Now that's what I call a vacation. — Jessica Alba

Tell your girlfriend or wife you love them everyday. Like I do! — Godfrey

I also became familiar with an entirely new category of people: the unhappily married person. They are everywhere, and they are ten thousand times more depressing than a divorced person. My friend Tim, whose name I've changed, obviously, has gotten more and more depressing since he married his girlfriend of seven years. Tim is the kind of guy who corners you at a party to tell you, vehemently, that marriage is work And that you have to work on it constantly. And that going to couples' therapy is not only normal but something that everyone needs to do. Tim has a kind of manic, cult-y look in his eye from paying thousands of dollars to a marriage counselor. He is convinced that his daily work on his marriage, and his acknowledgement that it is basically a living hell, is modern. The result is that he has helped to relieve me of any romantic notions I had about marriage. — Mindy Kaling

Don't tell your parents you're gay and I'm not your girlfriend. Tell them you're gay because someone is your boyfriend."
"Can I tell them it's that hot guy on Teen Wolf? — Avon Gale

I am at the hospital waiting for my friend with Noah. Which is a very couple-like thing to do. All you have to do is watch any teen drama - anytime one of the characters is close to death and/or in a coma, the boyfriend/girlfriend teams always end up at the hospital together.
We are eating together. (Another coupley thing to do.)
We are talking about my best friend, his girlfriend, and their secret problems that she somehow neglected to tell me. Which means that Noah is the one telling me secrets that even my best friend won't.
I like it. All of it. Being here, eating food, telling secrets, everything — Lauren Barnholdt

Well let me tell you what [High School Musical] is really about. High School Musical is about this group of boys who are all being molested by the basketball coach, who is Zac Efron's dad. It's about them struggling to cope with this molestation. And they have these little girlfriends, who are their beards. Oh, and somehow there's music involved. You have to get stoned to watch it. — Megan Fox

You think it hurts your feelings that girls talk about you behind your back, until they tell you to your face. And they each wanted a turn. Every time, it started with 'girlfriend' and ended with 'bitch. — Jennifer Echols

To me, Kane's always been a good guy, a good teammate. I think now he's got a girlfriend. You can tell, he's 24, turning 25, he's not 18 or 19 anymore. It's kind of fun seeing him and Toews get a little bit older, have girlfriends. They're starting to stay in on a Friday night, watch a movie instead. — Duncan Keith

He opens his window and motions for me to open mine. When I do, he tries to say something. His voice barely carries through the sound of the rain coming down hard between us.
I lean out the car window. "What?"
He leans out his window, meeting me halfway. We're both wet and soaked, but neither of us seems to care. "Don't run away from me when I need to tell you somethin' important."
"What?" I say, hoping he doesn't notice the tears running down my face, and praying they're getting mixed up with the rain.
"Tonight was ... well, it was perfect for me, too. You've turned my world upside down. I've fallen in love with you, chica, and it scares the fuckin' shit outta me. I've been shakin' all night, because I knew it. I've tried to deny it, to make you think I wanted you as a fake girlfriend, but that was a lie."
"I love you, Kiara," he says before his lips move forward and meet mine. — Simone Elkeles

My girlfriend always told me, 'Send roses while they can still smell them, tell people you love them while they can still hear.' — Manti Te'o

Are you going to put on your old cheer uniform?"
Ryan was a little too excited by the thought of me in a costume, so I squashed that idea, and fast.
"In your dreams."
"Not exactly." Ryan grinned wickedly. "In my dreams you're usually dressed like Wonder Woman."
Ugh. I wondered how long it would take for him to start in on the superhero crap. Obviously, not long. I was not amused, but Ryan seemed to think
himself hilarious. I could also tell by the look on his face that he was quite confident he'd have me in costume one day. "Never gonna happen," I
assured him. "Ever."
And of course he responded with that classic, cocky smile. "Just like you were never gonna be my girlfriend, right? — Kelly Oram

What does Sara think about us?"

"She suspects that we're dating."

"You should tell her the truth."

"I've been clear that you and I are just friends."

"Does she believe it?"

"No, she can't get why I'd want to spend a lot of time with you unless you were my girlfriend." He shook his head in frustration. "I don't care what anyone thinks about our relationship. We can make our own rules as long as we're both comfortable with them. If we want to hug, we should. If we want to text each other at midnight, that's okay too. Agreed?"

"Agreed. Our relationship, our rules. — Elizabeth Langston

I didn't tell you because you're my girlfriend, not the police commissioner. And because it really isn't any of your business."
Carmela was taken aback for a moment. By his abruptness and his choice of words. "Your girlfriend? Is that what I am?"
"I guess so," said Babcock. He let loose a warm, throaty chuckle, then added, "Face it, we weren't exactly playing tiddlywinks last night."
"Well, no," said Carmela. "But girlfriend just sounds so formal."
"Friend?" suggested Babcock.
"No, no," said Carmela. "I really do prefer the former. — Laura Childs

A minute ago you told me that you thought I was cute."
"Yeah," Leo said. "I mean, I do think that. But you're not my girlfriend. You're my person."
I knew right away what he meant.
I thought he was cute and he thought I was cute but it was different than it was when people have crushes.
With Leo I'd fallen into another kind of like. I couldn't wait to tell him stuff and I loved hearing him laugh at my jokes and I loved laughing at his jokes. He made me feel like I had a spot in the world.
It felt as if Leo and I could like each other all our lives.
So I hugged him.
He was my person too. — Ally Condie

Tell me if I'm mistaken, but isnt't that my girlfriend in the graveyard?"
"You are not mistaken."
"And she's straddling some guy."
"That's correct," said Colin.
Hassan pursed his lips and nodded. "And- I just want to make sure we have our facts straight here- she's naked."
"She certainly is."
...
And then he raced forward about ten paces, cupped his hands over his mouth, and screamed, "I AM BREAKING UP WITH YOU!" Still, though, a goofy grin was on his face. — John Green

Will, I love you. I really do. You are going to be a part of our wedding; you will also be a part of our family. I want the best things in the world to happen to you." She narrowed her eyes at me, and I felt my balls crawl up into my body. "But I still wouldn't tell a girlfriend of mine to take a chance with you. I'd tell her she should let you fuck her brains out, but keep her emotions out of it because you are a clueless little shit. — Christina Lauren

In any relationship that comes to an end, there's never just a baseline reason why. You say, 'Oh, I broke up with my girlfriend.' Someone says, 'Why?' You say, 'Well, you got three hours? And then maybe after I tell you my version, you've got to talk to her.' — Michael Rapaport

If you want to do something dangerous ... Don't tell your girlfriend! — Christopher Titus

Noc knew that his girlfriend was better as he got to the door of Kay's living room. This he could tell by the sound of her screaming at Turney for some infraction on the Son of Time's part. He opened it to see her soaking wet, cornering Turney by the stereo and holding a ball of Hellfire. Noc burst out laughing at the normalcy of the whole thing. — Brian Fatah Steele

Are you in?" I roll my eyes and try to kiss him again, but he won't let me. I pinch his nipples, and all he does is wink and growl at me. "Say it."
"Fuck you"
"We'll get there, Naomi. Be patient. But first, you have to say it." I keep glaring, but I feel my body melting, my shields and my walls crashing down in flames. "Say you're mine, tell me that you're my girlfriend."
"You're my boyfriend," I say, and the words nearly kill me. "That's all you get for now. Best I can fucking do. — C.M. Stunich

When I first met my girlfriend, Mercy Malick, she asked me if there was anything I should tell her that could put her off me if she found out later. So I told her that I was a total 'Star Wars' geek and had boxes of 'Star Wars' toys in storage. — Joseph Gatt

You have a girlfriend?" said Brian. "You never told us."
"I'm not going to tell you now either. Don't tell Mom and Dad, don't tell Jodie, don't tell Bren."
"Why not?" said Brian. "Mom and Dad would be thrilled. Unless she's some disgusting skank leading you down a sick and twisted path. — Caroline B. Cooney

Alex!" Brittany yells my name from the front of the gallery.
I'm still smoking and trying to forget that she brought me here because I'm her dirty little secret. I don't want to be a fucking secret anymore.
My pseudo-girlfriend crosses the street. Her designer shoes click on the pavement, reminding me she's a class above. She eyes Mandy and me, the two blue collars, smoking together.
"Mandy here was about to show me her tattoos," I tell Brittany to piss her off.
"I'll bet she was. Were you going to show her yours, too?" She eyes me accusingly.
"I'm not into drama," Mandy says. She throws down her cigarette and smashes it with the tip of her gym shoe. "Good luck, you two. God knows you need it. — Simone Elkeles

What the hell is going on in here?"

Hannah jumps in surprise when Coach Jensen appears in the shower area.

Oh, hey, Coach," I call out. "Not what it looks like."

His dark brows knit in a displeased frown. "It looks like you're taking a shower in front of your girlfriend. In my locker room."

"Okay, then yeah, it's what it looks like. But I promise, it's all very PG. Well, except for the fact that I'm naked. But don't worry, no kinky shit is going to happen." I grin at him. "I'm trying to win her back."

Coach's mouth opens, then closes, then opens again. I can't tell if he's amused or pissed or ready to wash his hands of this whole thing. Finally, he nods and opts for option number three. "Carry on. — Elle Kennedy

There is a Western phenomenon called the male midlife crisis. Very often it is heralded by divorce. What history might have done to you, you bring about on purpose: separation from woman and child. Don't tell me that such men aren't tasting the ancient flavors of death and defeat.
In America, with divorce achieved, the midlifer can expect to be more recreational, more discretionary. He can almost design the sort of crisis he is going to have: motorbike, teenage girlfriend, vegetarianism, jogging, sports car, mature boyfriend, cocaine, crash diet, powerboat, new baby, religion, hair transplant.
Over here, now, there's no angling around for your male midlife crisis. It is brought to you and it is always the same thing. It is death. — Martin Amis

We'd walk home together in the foggy summer night and I'd tell her about sex; the good stuff, like how it could be warm and exciting
it took you away
and the not-so-good things, like how once you showed someone that part of yourself, you had to trust them one thousand percent and anything could happen. Someone you thought you knew could change and suddenly not want you, suddenly decide you made a better story than a girlfriend. Or how sometimes you might think you wanted to do it and then halfway through or afterward realize no, you just wanted the company, really; you wanted someone to choose you, and the sex part itself was like a trade-off, something you felt like you had to give to get the other part. I'd tell her that and help her decide. I'd be a friend. — Sara Zarr

Dying to meet your girlfriends that you said you might bring. If they're the ones that tell you that you do the right thing. — Drake

My girlfriend is named Lynn. She spells her name "Lynn". My old girlfriend's name is Lyn, too, but she spells it "Lyn". Every now and then I screw up, I call my new girlfriend by my old girlfriend's name, and she can tell because I don't say "n" as long. — Mitch Hedberg

You can't trust girls. When I get a girlfriend I am not going to tell her where I live or work. — David Thorne

Well then, as your boyfriend, I order you to tell Zane that you are and always have been my girlfriend. -Fenn — Candace Knoebel

Start dating someone who is funny, someone who has what in high school you called a "really great sense of humor" and what now your creative writing class calls "self-contempt giving rise to comic form." Write down all of his jokes, but don't tell him you are doing this. Make up anagrams of his old girlfriend's name and name all of your socially handicapped characters with them. Tell him his old girlfriend is in all of your stories and then watch how funny he can be, see what a really great sense of humor he can have. — Lorrie Moore

It wasn't until Kiffney-Brown, when I met Jason Talbot, that I really thought I might actually have one of those boyfriend kind of stories to tell the next time I got together with my old friends. Jason was smart, good-looking, and seriously on the rebound after his girlfriend at Jackson dumped him for, in his words, 'a juvenile delinquent welder with a tattoo'. — Sarah Dessen

I'd like to see you try to have my job. Around here I'm more connected than a Kennedy. As for our animals, there is no rapin' involved, they are more than willing, just ask your "girlfriend." She is probably gettin' a little animal lovin', and it's probably better than you, which is why she isn't answering your calls. Also, we aren't hillbillies, we are rednecks. Don't you have a map fucktard, no mountains in this part of the state, but you bring your ass down here, and I'll do you a solid. I'll introduce you to the fuckin' bubba-brigade. Have a good night, and if Mhisery ever rolls off the animal she is on, I'll tell her you called. — Alex Morgan

Jase rested his forehead against mine and closed his eyes. His warm breath danced over my lips. I want to take you out on a date. I want to take you horseback riding. I want to tell your brother. I want to take you home to my parents and introduce you as my girlfriend. I want to prove this means more to me. I want to do this the right way. — J. Lynn

My last girlfriend was a Showgirl - But we eventually broke up because she wouldn't Tell me anything. Now I'm dating a girl who looks exactly like my grandma, only my girl older.
-James Lee Schmidt and Jarod Kintz — James Lee Schmidt

My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you - I hope she meets somebody nice. — Adam Ferrara

For a spy novelist like me, the Edward J. Snowden story has everything. A man driven by ego and idealism - can anyone ever distinguish the two? - leaves his job and his beautiful girlfriend behind. He must tell the world the Panopticon has arrived. His masters vow to punish him, and he heads for Moscow in a desperate search for refuge. — Alex Berenson

You throw the kitchen sink at your early books. You put everything in there. It's like when you meet a new girlfriend or boyfriend, you tell them all your best stories. By the time you have been married for 10 years, they are crying, 'Shut up!' — Mark Billingham

Sometimes the other guys teased [Patrick] about having a girl friend, but it didn't seem to bother him. It didn't bother me, either. If those guys couldn't tell the difference between a friend and a girlfriend - well, that made them too dense to be worth worrying about. — Linda Sue Park

I knew being your girlfriend wouldn't have many perks. I still owe you things."
"You have plenty of perks," I tell her. "You just choose not to delight in them. — Krista Ritchie

I could remember the details of the meeting exactly. My dad had worn a pink shirt, the button-down kind that his new girlfriend, Cindy, probably bought him. She's a stylist, which means that she gets paid by adults to dress them in age-inappropriate clothing and then tell them that they look "hip." Atlanta is full of tight-assed, bleached-bond women who look twenty from behind and turn around to reveal their Botoxed, eight-thousand-year-old, veiny-handed glory. These were Cindy's clients. — Alison Umminger