Talk Funny Girl Quotes & Sayings

I dropped my gardening tools, threw my bicycle over a hedge and went in search of fortunes laid beneath the hangman's noose. — Fennel Hudson

Have you heard about the morning after pill, or what I like to call breakfast in bed. Well have you heard about how some of the girls who have taken have died a few days later? Talk about two birds, looks like I will be going to the game this weekend boys. — Daniel Tosh

Had I not had the childhood I did, would these traits not be so at the forefront of my personality? Who knows? All I know is that I am the product of all the experiences I have had, good and bad, and if I am in a happy place in my life (as I truly am), then I can have no regrets about any of the combination of events and circumstances that have led me to the here and now. — Alan Cumming

In the Bible, when God made a covenant with Abraham, He removed Abraham from the pagan world. The pagan system was such that if you were born poor, you were poor all of your life, and if you were born rich, you were rich all of your life.
However, in their covenant, God said to Abraham, "You are going to increase and prosper." This became the blessing, the rare and dramatic change that took place in Abraham's lifetime, making Abraham different from the pagans. The pagans did not understand prosperity. They lived from hand to mouth and knew no other way of life. — Celso Cukierkorn

I feel like I'm going to die,' he says.
'Could we talk for a few minutes before you die?'
'Only if you do it quietly.'
'I met this girl last night. I need your advice.'
'Come back later.'
'No. You might be dead. — Doug MacLeod

I'm at the age where I want two girls. In case I fall asleep they will have someone to talk to. — Rodney Dangerfield

All he wanted was a long, hot shower and a long, deep sleep.
Meaning that whoever this pissed-off brunette was, whatever deal she'd arranged with his flaky mother, they could talk about it after he'd scrubbed the jungle from his skin and rinsed the shampoo from his hair.
"What do you mean it belongs to you? It can't belong to you. I just rented it," said the girl aiming that pink blow-dryer right at his heart.
If he wasn't so damn exhausted, he might find that funny. She was holding the thing as if it would protect her. It was a blow-dryer! He nodded at it. "What do you plan to do with that thing, honey? Style me to death? — Tracy Brogan

You can intimidate some of the people all of the time, all of the people some of the time, but not all of the people all of the time. — Richard Pound

Tips can make someone a better writer but not necessarily a good writer. That's a larger package - a matter of character. Golfing is more than keeping the left arm straight. Every good golfer is a complex engine that runs on ability, ego, determination, discipline, patience, confidence, and other qualities that are self-taught. So it is with writers and all creative artists. If their values are solid their work is likely to be solid. — William Zinsser

Rain"
Oh amiable rain
Washer of trees
and roofs
who has prepared them
for
the pink ray
of evening
("Poems") — Charlotte Gardelle

Though she knew even less about radios than about Southern Californians, there were to both outward patterns a hieroglyphic sense of concealed meaning, of an intent to communicate. — Thomas Pynchon

'The Talk-Funny Girl' opens with a glum picture of a desperately poor rural New England family. Poverty has so brutalized the family that the ordinary laws and rules governing humanity have eroded, turning systems of behavior upside down. — Carolyn See

I miss being a mistress. I enjoyed it. I loved it, in fact. I never felt guilty. I pretended I did. I had to, with my married girlfriends, the ones who live in terror of the pert au pair or the pretty, funny girl in the office who can talk about football and spends half her life in the gym. I had to tell them that of course I felt terrible about it, of course I felt bad for his wife, I never meant for any of this to happen, we fell in love, what could we do? The truth is, I never felt bad for Rachel.... She just wasn't real to me, and anyway, I was enjoying myself too much. Being the other woman is a huge turn-on, there's no point denying it: you're the one he can't help but betray his wife for, even though he loves her. That's just how irresistible you are. — Paula Hawkins

My history of the Jesuits is not elegantly written, but is supported by unquestionable authorities, is very particular and very horrible. Their restoration is indeed "a step toward darkness," cruelty, perfidy, despotism, death and I wish we were out of danger of bigotry and Jesuitism. — John Adams

Home was truly the best place he could possibly be, but, alas, was not an available option. — Kenneth Eade

It's no longer possible to simply build English country houses out of words, because they've already been so thoroughly described that all the applicable words have been used up, and one is forced to build them instead out of words recycled and scavenged from other descriptions of other country houses. — Lev Grossman

It's funny: I always, as a high school teacher and particularly as a high school yearbook teacher, because yearbook staffs are 90 percent female, I got to sit in and overhear teenage girl talk for many years. I like teenage girls; I like their drama, their foibles. And I think, 'I'll be good with a teenage daughter!' — Rob Thomas

I think people lie on the Internet. I would prefer to meet someone in person, and I need to have chemistry when we meet and spend a little time, and have a couple of dates. — Vivica A. Fox

The most difficult thing for a wise woman to do is to pretend to be a foolish one. — W. Somerset Maugham

Hey Grover! Thorn's kidnapping us! He's a poisonous spike-throwing maniac! Help! — Rick Riordan

He looks again towards the door, expecting Mum to walk in and remind him of something he's forgotten. He smiles awkwardly.
'Is that it, Dad? I've got to go.'
'Your Mum said I should mention ... um ... satisfaction.'
'What!'
'She said young men should know things, should be told things so that the girl won't be ... ' his eyes plead for understanding, ' ... disappointed.'
[ ... ] 'No worries, Dad. My biology teacher said I was a natural.'
Dad looks confused.
'I'm kidding, Dad.'
[ ... ] Poor bloke, having to do the dirty work while Mum's off with her gang.
'Dad? What did Grandpa tell you about sex?'
'He said if I got a girl pregnant, he'd kill me. — Steven Herrick

It never occurs to me that acting with a superstar is something to worry about. I figure the bigger the better because more will be demanded of me. — Peter Riegert

I want to say, and this is very important: at the end we lucked out. It was luck that prevented nuclear war. We came that close to nuclear war at the end. Rational individuals: Kennedy was rational; Khrushchev was rational; Castro was rational. Rational individuals came that close to total destruction of their societies. And that danger exists today. — Robert McNamara

I just think it should be illegal to call somebody fat on TV ... I think when it comes to the media, the media needs to take responsibility for the effect that it has on our younger generation, on these girls who are watching these television shows and picking up how to talk and how to be cool, so then all of a sudden being funny is making fun of the girl who's wearing an ugly dress. — Jennifer Lawrence