Taco Quotes & Sayings

McDonald's, he thought. Why couldn't she have wanted Mickey D's. Or Pizza Hut. Taco Hell - — J.R. Ward

People see me going around constantly flipping off lights and think I'm OCD. No, I'm just turned off by lights that are turned on unnecessarily. It's not about wasted money, it's just about waste. Whenever I see someone throwing out food, I just picture all the energy that went into making that food being lost - the diesel in the farm equipment that picked it, the energy in the fertilizer and the whole fertilizer plant, the truck that brought it to the restaurant, the BTUs used to cook it, and the electricity for the heat lamp at the shitty restaurant. All gone because you couldn't finish your taco salad. — Adam Carolla

When you're getting $2,000 a month in the minors, it's hard not to eat Taco Bell every day. — Marcus Giles

I think anyone who stops at a gas station at night is up to no good. I think that if cops want to stop drunk driving, they should hide out in the bushes at the Taco Bell drive-through. I think if you're a guy and you pull down your pants and the girl you're with starts texting, you have a small penis. — Bill Konigsberg

Well, the Taco Bell burrito scale of immense magnitude returned an 'r' factor of point eight six. Then when I applied the nose-picking coefficient, I discovered a multivariate numeration of nine dot oh sixteen on the Richter scale. — Debra Dunbar

One man came up to me at a taco stand and said, "I have no idea who you are, but I can see everyone is staring at you, so you must be somebody. I just wanted to tell you that you are not that special. You're no more special than me." I looked at him with a mouth full of food and managed to say, "Thanks. I agree," and promptly asked the waitress for a to go box. — Jewel

She picked up a taco, took a big bite, and moaned as it made its way down to her stomach. "I want to marry this taco."
"Lucky taco."
Honor stilled. That voice. That one-of-a-kind masculine scent. Bryce stood right behind her. — Robin Bielman

Don't judge your taco by its price — Hunter S. Thompson

You don't need to go to church to be a Christian. If you go to Taco Bell, that doesn't make you a taco. — Justin Bieber

J.Lo gasped. When I looked to see why, he had one hand to his mouth and the other pointing at me.
"You ... " he squealed, wagging his finger. " ... your hand!"
I raised my hand to my face, turning it over and back again.
"What? What's wrong with it?"
"You are bearing the mark! The mark that has been foretold! You are The One ... The One who will bring peace onto the galaxy!"
"What, this? This is taco sauce," I said, wiping it clean.
J.Lo stared at my palm for a moment, then turned back to the wall.
"Never mind," he said. — Adam Rex

Henry held up his taco- formerly Vlad's- and grinned. " Little known fact, gentlemen. Tacos are the food of genius."
pg248 Henry to Vlad & Joss — Heather Brewer

Taco Bell is going to start selling nachos and chicken nuggets wrapped in a tortilla. In other words, thank God we're going to keep Obamacare. — Conan O'Brien

The way America sees Mexico, if they have any sense of it, is like Taco Bell. Our countries are neighbors, and the only hard food to get in America is true Mexican. It's impossible to find, even in L.A. Why is that? — Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu

Tacos."
"Tacos?" I echoed.
This seemed to amuse him. "Tomatoes, lettuce, cheese."
"I know what a taco is! — Becca Fitzpatrick

Do you wanna do something fun? Wanna go to Taco Bell? — Karen Smith

Muy Peligroso!" Bernie's choices had become as limited as the Taco Bell menu. Reason and blood had left the building, heading south, faster than reprobates to Florida." - Shark Fin Soup 2015 — Fred Barnett

When we walked down the aisle, they played Taco Bell's Canyon, Quinn says knowingly. (Named for its German composer, Johann TacoBell.) — Michael Lewis

Just wait, dude," Jamie had said. "I'm serious. It's fucking hard-core." Since Jamie described everything from zombie movies to his parents' fights to the new enchilada platter at Taco John's as "fucking hard-core," none of us could gauge much by it. — Emily M. Danforth

There's this secret Korean taco/cupcake truck I go to. To find it, you have to bring a hard-boiled egg to this deli in Bushwick where they give you the address. — Kurt Braunohler

I don't always succeed in creating a delicious dinner for my family; I would, however, argue for the likely success of Taco Night. Who doesn't love a taco? Make it with veggie crumbles! Add fish! Have you tried ground buffalo? The results are always impressive. — Corin Tucker

I really shine in a Taco Bell parking lot with a water bottle full of vodka, but I could work with this. After — Anna Kendrick

You're going from audition to audition, changing in the backseat, and all that fun stuff that's great to do at one time in your life. That's when the 49-cent taco, as disgusting as it is, really plays into your day. It really helps you out. — Eva Mendes

I'm a Fritos Burrito guy. Me and Taco Bell have a love relationship on Twitter; they follow me. Out of 16 people they follow me, so I'm very loyal to my girlfriend, Taco Bell. — Jacob Whitesides

[On Los Angeles:] This city is a hundred years old but try and find some trace of its history. Every culture is swallowed up and spat out as a franchise. Taco Bell. Benihana of Tokyo. Numero Uno Pizza. Pup 'N' Taco. Kentucky Fried Chicken. Fast food sushi. Teriyaki Bowl. — Anne Finger

They think they can buy a U-shaped shell, stuff it, and call it a taco, but those cafeteria workers wouldn't know taco meat from a piece of shit. That's what this tastes like, — Simone Elkeles

Del Taco: so much food, no much money — Ross O'Donovan

tonight it taco night" -rachel (cam's mom) — Ally Carter

This death has been sponsored by Pringles, Taco Bell, Toyota, Trojan Condoms, and one evil, fucking genius. — Stephanie Jackson

In general I love to eat anything. I enjoy anything that is well prepared, a good spaghetti, lasagna, taco, steak, sushi, refried beans. — Martin Yan

I'm famous for splurging at fast-food places. I'm currently obsessed with Taco Bell's bean and cheese burritos with extra green sauce and extra cheese. Gluttony! — Fergie

She came awake, stomach rumbling, and opened her eyes to see a plate being held right under her nose.
When she reached for it, Shane snatched it back. 'Nuh-uh. Mine.'
'Share!' she demanded.
'Man, you are one grabby girlfriend.'
She grinned. It always made her feel so fiercly warm inside to hear him say that- the girlfriend part, not the grabby part.
'If you love me, you'll give me a taco.'
'Seriously? That's all you got? What about you'll do sexy, illegal things to me for a taco?'
'Not for a taco,' she said. 'I'm not cheap.'
'They're brisket tacos.'
'Now you're talking. — Rachel Caine

When I decided to be a musician I reckoned that that was going to be the way of less profit, less money. I was sort of giving up the idea of making a lot of money. It was what I loved to do. I would have done it anyway. If I'd had to work at Taco Bell I'd have still been out at night trying to play music. — Tom Petty

I love Taco Bell. Whenever I go there, I could get anything on the menu and be totally happy. — Chris Massoglia

Oookay, that was seriously confusing, especially the part about the Warrior Prince being a taco stand, I laughed, trying to thaw the icy chill in the room. — Robyn Peterman

Thank you, hard taco shells, for surviving the long journey from factory, to supermarket, to my plate and then breaking the moment I put something inside you. Thank you. — Jimmy Fallon

Sometimes grace is having the strength to persevere through the storm.
Sometimes it's having the guts to rebuild, to take a chance, to follow your nose and your heart rather than your head.
Sometimes grace is finding out that your preconceived notions are dead wrong.
Sometimes it's being surprised by joy.
Sometimes grace is something you can feel even if you can't see it.
And sometimes it's a bowl of watermelon gazpacho when you were expecting Taco Bell. — Cathleen Falsani

I was 35 years old and not in the best of shape. I spent many late nights playing music, drinking beer, and eating Taco Bell. — Bryan Hayes

Just so you know, I'm strictly a taco girl. I have tried sausage, but it's not for me." ~ Jolie — Emma Nichols

We [Desaparecidos] have to make the message and the music and the packaging as appealing as possible - as Taco Bell as possible: mediocre and no one can be offended by it and everyone can sort of enjoy it and we can play it on the radio. — Conor Oberst

I don't know much about the Supreme Court. If it's anything like the Supreme Taco, it's like a regular court, but with extra sour cream. — Craig Ferguson

My dad and I could chat for hours about solar systems, dog psychology, and the existence of God, all while listening to Hank Williams and eating Taco Bell. — David Crabb

If I have pizza or Taco Bell one day, I'll have home-cooked meals the next. I try to listen to what my body craves. — Ashlee Simpson

No one had ever called me unnatural before, except for the time I put ketchup on a taco. But seriously, we'd been out of salsa, so what else was I supposed to do? — Richelle Mead

On our first date, he bought me a taco, talked at length about the ancients' theories of light, how it streams at angles to align events in space and time, that it is the source of all information, determines every outcome, how we can reflect it to summon aliens using mirrored bowls of water. I asked what the point of it all was, but he didn't seem to hear me. Lying on the grass outside a tennis arena, he held my face toward the sun, stared sideways at my eyeballs, and began to cry. He told me I was the sign he'd been waiting for and, like looking into a crystal ball, he'd just read a private message from God in the silvery vortex of my left pupil. — Ottessa Moshfegh

I'm totally normal. I think it's obnoxious when people demand limos or bodyguards. I eat at McDonald's or Taco Bell. My parents always taught us to be humble. We're not spoiled. — Paris Hilton

What was that saying? When life gives you lemons, go to a taco stand. — Mariana Zapata

My job title was youth advocate. My approach was unconditional positive regard. My mission was to help the girl youth succeed in spite of the unspeakably harrowing crap stew they'd been simmering in all of their lives. Succeeding in this context meant getting neither pregnant nor locked up before graduating high school. It meant eventually holding down a job at Taco Bell or Walmart. It was only that! It was such a small thing and yet it was enormous. It was like trying to push an eighteen-wheeler with your pinkie finger. I was not technically qualified to be a youth advocate. I'd never worked with youth or counseled anyone. I had degrees in neither education nor psychology. I'd been a waitress who wrote stories every chance I got for most of the preceding years. But for some reason, I wanted this job and so I talked my way into it. I wasn't meant to let the girls know I was — Cheryl Strayed

There was a Taco Bell where people could pee. There was a gas station where people could pee. There were all sorts of things. The mayor was proud of his town. — Joseph Fink

When it's done properly, taco should be a verb. — Jonathan Gold

For the record," Miriam says, "I'm a supremely vulgar human being and even I think bearded taco is a disgusting term. My vagina is a beautiful flower, thank you very much, not a pube-shellacked burrito. Uck. — Chuck Wendig

It's hard to believe she's the same girl from Taco Bell. Beth was hard and shut down that night. The girl on my bed is open and soft. — Katie McGarry

The country of Mexico has just gotten its first Taco Bell. You're Welcome. Finally, Mexicans will have access to ... Mexican food. Bon appetit. I can't imagine how confused they will be when they get a taco. — Jon Stewart

Someone recently played me 'Combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell' by Das Racist. That should be my theme song. — Dhani Harrison

My Spanish is limited to burrito and taco, — Janet Evanovich

Believe it or not, Mexican cooking, for those of you who have not gone farther south than Taco Bell, uses a lot of vegetables. But those vegetables were not brought here, like corn mushrooms, huitlacoche, or squash blossoms. — Sandra Cisneros

You in for Chipotle tomorrow? Taco Tuesday, gotta get some tac and guac!" "No one calls it that." I shook my head, grinning. It — Robyn Schneider

I write what I want to write. Period. I don't write novels-for-hire using media tie-in characters, I don't write suspense novels or thrillers. I write horror. And if no one wants to buy my books, I'll just keep writing them until they do sell
and get a job at Taco Bell in the meantime. — Bentley Little

The decorator of Las Colimas must have been a great admirer of both early Aztec and late Taco Bell architectural styles. — Ilona Andrews

When a thin person announces, "Here's a great taco place," I kind of shut down a little. How do they know it's so great? From smelling the tacos? If they only ate one taco, the taco could not have been that great. — Jim Gaffigan

Total confusion, disconnected nothing, absolute bewilderment. It's an enigma wrapped in a mystery, stuffed in a burrito, and smothered in taco sauce. — Russ Gregory

I had only two jobs my entire life Taco Bell for six months and Kroger's Food store for one day! — Dante Hall

I just can't muster up enough pride for a town whose most cosmopolitan area is the Taco Bell car park on a saturday night — Chris Colfer

Maybe she'll be one of the lucky ones who gets to see it from a distance and makes it home in one piece. Maybe I'll be ripping out her spine tomorrow. I hope she makes it home first. It would suck to be killed and reanimated while wearing corporate antennae. Though, it wouldn't be as bad as reanimating dressed like a crab or a taco because you were pimping a new restaurant when you died. There's a difference between a bad death and the universe stopping by to take a great big shit on you. I — Richard Kadrey

When I tour, it's like, well, like a food tour as much as a comedy tour. I try to eat at all the weird places, the obscure barbecue joints, burger places. There are a few spots in L.A. that I'm obsessed with - one of them is the Taco Zone taco truck on Alvarado. There are secret off-menu items that are amazing. — Aziz Ansari

Never underestimate how much assistance, how much satisfaction, how much comfort, how much soul and transcendence there might be in a well-made taco and a cold bottle of beer. — Tom Robbins

I admired the earnestness of these people, many of whom had joined Greenpeace and marched for noble things in their youth. But I didn't share their hatred of the establishment. After all, the establishment had given me so many of my favorite things: Nick at Nite, the New York Knicks, Stephen King, Taco Bell, Green Day. The list went on and on. — Simon Rich

I was going to say he's aimless," the witch replied. "I know he's a bit old to be old to living at home with his mom, but he's had a difficult time holding a job. He's worked at Wendy's, Taco Bell, and Burger King, but it all ends the same way- he challenges his manager to combat, takes over the restaurant, and enslaves his coworkers. Then it's back to video games." - Morgan le Fay — Michael Buckley

The twins stopped and stared in surprise at the two vampires guarding a door on their right. The vampires returned their look of surprise.
"What are you doing here?" One of the vampires hissed.
"We're looking for Taco Bell." Luther said cheerfully as he and Tyrone reached behind their backs.
"Left or right, Tyrone?"
"I'll take the one on the left." Tyrone replied. — Elizabeth Kelly

It's not like I'm out eating McDonald's and Del Taco every night. I eat good: my mom fixes dinner every single night - baked chicken, fish - she cooks a great meal every single night. — Bryce Harper

So we believe. Leo has to be alive." "You remember the time in Detroit, when he flattened Ma Gasket with a car engine?" "Or those dwarfs in Bologna. Leo took them down with a homemade smoke grenade made from toothpaste." "Commander Tool Belt," Jason said. "Bad Boy Supreme," Piper said. "Chef Leo the Tofu Taco Expert." They laughed and told stories about Leo Valdez, their best friend. — Rick Riordan

You might say he was one taco short of a combination platter. — Robin Williams

Just as it's unfair to review a taco stand for not being a four-star restaurant, I also have to be mindful that not every drama on TV is trying to be "The Wire." — Hank Stuever

What every girl should know: Your vagina is disgusting. It smells like the underside of a kangaroo pouch and he doesn't want to touch you because of the grossness. But thankfully, NEW brand douche, perfected by a leading gynecologist, gently cleanses and refreshes, making you feel feminine and special. Because what's more special than a vage filled with vinegar and chemical daisies? Also available in SPICY CINNAMON TACO, for the girl adventurer. — Kelly Sue DeConnick

They say California's the big burrito; Texas is a big taco right now. We want to follow that through. Florida is a big tamale. — Dan Rather

I wonder if anybody ever decided to commit suicide, then thought; but first I'm going to stop by that taco place I like so much. — Dov Davidoff

A lot of American companies are now moving into Iraq. Iraq now has Pizza Hut, Subway, Taco Bell and Popeye's fried chicken. So, great, instead of oil for food, we're giving them oil in food. — Jay Leno

I got dumped at Taco Bill's today; fell down, split my pants, and generally humiliated myself in front of a complete stranger; went to dinner at a snooty restaurant, found out said stranger is my future step brother; got called a stripper, hooker, and virgin by my mother ... did I leave anything out? — Nicole Christie

I have a rule: I want the pilot flying me up in the air at 30,000 feet to make more than a guy working at Taco Bell. — Michael Moore

Seems Google management figured out it is cheaper, happier and more productive to take care of their employees and create a positive work environment than to burn them to a crisp, make them afraid of the future, and send them off into the highways and byways of California in search of a Taco Bell for lunch. — Joe McNally

If not for me being stoned and clinging to a taco, it would have been terribly romantic. — Richelle Mead

I used to look like an American flag. The Padre uniform makes me look like a taco. Actually, the transition has been great. I've made 25 new friends, and I never thought I wanted to be anything other than a Dodger, but this is fun. — Steve Garvey

Once Kimmy and Bobby walked in Taco Bell they saw their two friends already sitting at the table, and Kimmy and Bobby ordered their food before they joined them.
"What's up?" Manning asked.
"Not much, just hanging out," Bobby answered.
"And of course the two of you are always hanging out," Dave said, nodding toward Kimmy.
Kimmy smiled. "Of course we are always hanging out. That's what you do when you've got a best friend, Dave. You'll learn that maybe one day when you have a best friend. — Lynette Mather

This is interesting. Researchers have found that people who drive drunk are more dangerous on the road than drivers who are high on marijuana. Don't get too excited. It's mostly because the drivers using marijuana are just sitting in the Taco Bell drive-through. — Jimmy Fallon

Everything happens all the time forever, and this would be a terrifying concept if I wasn't so enlightened and in-tune with the natural forces of the universe, which include but aren't limited to; A. taco salad, B. taco salad, and C. my own glorious ass (glorioass). — Sara Wolf

I'm a big taco fan. — Leslie Easterbrook

People arrived in town all the time. It wasn't that distant from other places, and it was along a major thoroughfare. There was a Taco Bell where people could pee. There was a gas station where people could pee. There were all sorts of things. — Joseph Fink

During the first couple of years of 'Dancing with the Stars,' I would go to Jack in the Box in my ball gown after the shows and get the Taco Nachos with cheese as my reward. — Carrie Ann Inaba

Please take a moment to answer this questionnaire and discover if you can benefit from a Taco Cleanse: Do you experience recurring feelings of hunger on a daily basis? Do you frequently lack access to eating utensils such as forks or chopsticks? Do you consider tortillas to function as edible napkins? Do you enjoy attention from peers based on dietary restrictions? Do you experience a range of emotions? Do you tilt your head when inserting food into your mouth? Do you use medical websites to self-diagnose your symptoms? Answering yes to any of these questions may indicate that a Taco Cleanse is right for you. — Wes Allison

The Weirdos

On our first date, he bought me a taco, talked at length about the ancients' theories of light, how it streams at all angles to align events in space and time, that it is the source of all information, determines every outcome, how we can reflect it to summon aliens using mirrored bowls of water. — Ottessa Moshfegh

I don't have like whatever, so I'm just like, "Oh man, I'm just going to try to stay out of most people's way and get a taco and enjoy myself as much as I can," because it's such a beautiful town. Beautiful weather. I called my dad that day to tell him what was going on with my passport and he was like, "Yeah it snowed four inches today. It's ten degrees outside." I'm just like, "Cool. I'm glad I'm in Austin, no matter what." — Justin Vernon

Commander Tool Belt" Jason said.
"Bad Boy Supreme" Piper said.
"Chef Leo the Tofu Taco Expert."
They laughed and told stories about Leo valdez, their best friend. They stayed on the roof until dawn rose, and Piper started to believe they could have a fresh start. It might even be possible to tell a new story in which Leo was still out there.
Somewhere ... — Rick Riordan

A taco is an economic good because we will go to a restaurant and buy one. — Bill Robinson

Vince and I had reached the point where there was nothing else we could think of to do with the taco wrapper, and since he refused to draw straws for the privilege of telling Deborah, I'd been forced to make the call to give her the news that we'd come up blank. And three minutes later, here she was, striding into our lab like avenging fury.
"Goddamn it," she said before she was even all the way in the room, "I need something from you!"
"Maybe a sedative?" Vince suggested, and for once I thought he was right on the money. — Jeff Lindsay

Texas: 32 electoral votes, another of the so-called big enchiladas or if not an enchilada at least a huge taco. — Dan Rather

Ramon looked closely at the little guy as he ate. "Maybe he's Jewish. I mean, if Sammy Davis Jr. could convert to Judaism, why not a chupacabra? We should name him Harry Mendelbaum."
I held up my arms in protest. "You're all racist. Now shut up. We'll call him Taco von Precious of Svenenstein. There, everybody happy?"
"Isn't von the same thing as of?" Frank asked. "Wouldn't that be kind of redundant?"
"You're redundant," I said. — Lish McBride

It's wetter than a taco fart down there and just as smelly," Mr. — Stephen King

The milk of kindness flows through my body, I shall follow Jesus to the Taco Bell and give thanks. — Aretha Franklin

I didn't realize he was a drunk driver,' I said. 'The other superheroes inferred it was just a regular, random guy you were trying to force a taco onto. But still' - I indicate the nearby crack dealers - 'the Taco Incident surely demonstrates how things can inadvertently spiral. — Jon Ronson

Montana's ranchers raise the best cattle in the world. If Taco Bell needs to beef up, they can give their customers the highest quality meat around by using Montana beef, and in the process, supporting agriculture jobs in Montana. — Jon Tester

Trying to maintain your health on the road can be difficult. Especially in the middle of the country where they close by 9 and you're not out of work until midnight. You end up at a McDonald's or Taco Bell. — Ron Funches