Swopes Quotes & Sayings

He'd been in surgery for-like-ever, then in recovery, but they put him in a room because, despite the amount of blood loss, his wounds were no longer life threatening. "You here to get in my pants?" he asked.
"You're not wearing any pants," I reminded him. "You're wearing a girly gown with a built-in ass ventilator. — Darynda Jones

I know what kind of man it takes to get involved with something as barbarous as human trafficking."
"I get it, Swopes. He's not the kind of man you take home to meet your
stepmom." I rethought that. "Wait a minute. Maybe my stepmom would like to meet him. Do you think he ships to Istanbul? — Darynda Jones

And you practically raped that biker guy, which, by the way, what the fuck was that about? Scraping the bottom of the barrel there, Charles."
"And that barrel is hot." I looked down at Artemis. "And Donovan's genuine. He would sell me to the highest bidder for a carburetor, and we both know it. — Darynda Jones

I am a man who used to wear the tights. We traveled the country doing two Shakespeare plays for bored college students for about a year. I think I'd probably still be doing it now if I hadn't just randomly decided to go to a sketch group audition. That led to doing improv, which led to the Daily Show. But it was fun while it lasted. — Rob Corddry

He took a long draw then asked, "What'd I do?"
"You knew about the guy threatening my dad?"
He paused, shifted in his chair, so freaking busted, it wasn't funny. "They told you?"
"Why, no, Swopes, they didn't. Instead, they waited until the guy knocked the fuck out of my dad and readied him for spaceflight with duct tape then tried to kill me with a butcher's knife. — Darynda Jones

Whatever makes your balloon red, Swopes. — Darynda Jones

I have two daughters: One an open book, one a locked box. So the question of privacy is a challenging one. How much do kids need? How much should we give? How do we prepare them to live in a world where the very notion of privacy opens a generational chasm? — Nancy Gibbs

Quality of life is not only about what you find in the shops; it's about the landscape. — Donald Tusk

Honestly, he acted as though he didn't like me anymore. Wait, maybe he didn't. "Do you still like me?"
"I never liked you."
Oh, right. He had a point.
Garreth & Charley — Darynda Jones

I think you need to water your plants," Garrett [Swopes, PI]called out to me [Charley Davidson, Grim Reaper and PI].
"Oh, they're fake." He was looking at the plants I had along my windowsill. Either that or my mold problem was getting out of hand. After a long pause I heard, "Those are fake?"
"Yeah, I had to make them look real. A little spray paint, a little lighter fluid, and voila! Fake dying plants."
"Why would you want fake dying plants?" he asked.
"Because if they were all thick and healthy-looking, anyone who knows me would realise they were fake."
"Yeah, but is that really the point?"
"Duh. — Darynda Jones

Not only does Yahoo! have a unique franchise, it increasingly has industry-leading tools, technology and, most importantly, people. — Jerry Yang

Garret Swopes was a lot like a hot gay friend only he wasn't gay, which was too bad because then I could tell him how hot he was without him getting the wrong idea. — Darynda Jones

What you do is your lot. — Lailah Gifty Akita

As we sat there, the door opened, just barely, and a hand slid inside and dropped a set of keys on a side table.
"Thanks, Garrett!" I called out.
He gave me a thumbs-up and closed the door.
"How do you suppose he knew we were performing sexual favors on each other?" I asked, snuggling against my man again.
"Possibly because you screamed my name about seven times. — Darynda Jones

My parents are in many ways embodiments of the American Dream. They came to this country with basically nothing but the clothes on their backs, and after twenty years of hard work, sweat, and sacrifice, they were getting divorced, totally broke, and deep in therapy. — David Henry Sterry

Charity may be a very short word, but with its tremendous meaning of pure love, it sums up man's entire relation to God and to his neighbor. — Aelred Of Rievaulx