Swipe Quotes & Sayings

The air felt thick with the feeling between us, like it was filling the room: a room full of our carnal heat, our hot desire for each other.

Both my hands were clenched on the tablecloth, bunching it tightly, as he continued to swipe the belt against my quivering ass cheeks, and I could feel his tight fist yank repeatedly on my hair. — Fiona Thrust

Now airlines charge for everything ... If the oxygen mask drops, you have to swipe your credit card to start the flow of the oxygen. — Ellen DeGeneres

Swiping's bad but if I was a swiper I'd swipe good stuff like cars and chocolates. — Emma Donoghue

Oh." I touch my cheeks. "You licked me."
He laughs and leans over, giving a tiny tongue swipe to my hand. "You're very lickable."
I try to hit him. He laughs harder and grabs my hands.
"No fair! Mere mortal against werewolf," I complain.
"Fine."
He lets go, but first he kisses my fingers, each of them. I sigh happily. — Carrie Jones

Can I Tinder swipe for cat cuddles? — Shannon Mullen

A long hug when you really need it Sometimes we all get rattled. When bad news surprises you, painful memories flash back, or heavy moments turn your stomach to mush, it's great to fall into a warm and comforting pair of big, wide open arms. Shaking with sobs, dripping with tears, you snort up your runny nose and smear snot across their shoulder as that hug relaxes you and comforts you and helps you get through everything, even for a minute, even for a moment. Maybe there are "It's going to be okay" whispers, some gentle back rubbing, or just the quiet silence of knowing that they're not going to let go until you let go first. As their steady arms support you, and the pain washes over you, the hug gives you a warm glow in a shivery moment. So when you eventually pull back, smile that classic "I'm sorry and thank you" smile, and swipe wet bangs off your forehead, you still might not feel great, but if you're lucky you'll feel a little more AWESOME! — Neil Pasricha

What people don't realize is that Tinder built a brand on more than the experience of the swipe. — Sam Yagan

When reading, swipe up from the bottom of the page to display the reading navigation toolbar. — Amazon

Ian stared until she disappeared inside the elevator. Then he glanced back at me.
"Don't fret, poppet. I'll get her."
"We need to do this discreetly. If I wanted to make a colossal scene, I'd just drag her off kicking and screaming now," I said, not adding, "dumb ass" only because he was family.
"She'll come without a fuss," Ian said with confidence.
"You can't green-eye her in the elevator, it'll have video surveillance. So will the garage," I retorted.
"I don't need these," Ian said, flashing emerald in his turquoise gaze for a split second, "when I have this."
With a casual swipe of his hand, he ripped his shirt open, causing buttons to fly everywhere. Another swipe took his sleep mask all the way off. Finally, he finger-combed his shoulder-lenght hair and smiled at his reflection in the rearview mirror.
"I am after all, irresistible. — Jeaniene Frost

Swipe fees have increased steadily since the introduction of debit cards 20 years ago, when there were no swipe fees at all. Merchants can't negotiate or control them. They've tried, but they have no leverage against the big banks and issuers. So they get ignored. — Peter Welch

His gaze strayed to her mouth as her tongue darted out to swipe cream off her bottom lip. He had to actually bite back a groan at the sight. He'd been with women who knew how to seduce, how to do everything right - because it was all choreographed and fake. With Dominique, he knew there was not artifice.
Even if she was driving him crazy. — Katie Reus

Every inch of you belongs to me," Afron whispered. "From your ears"
he nibbled delicately at one
"to your lips"
another nibble
"to your chest"
a swipe of his tongue met Makara's flesh
"to your belly"
a lingering tickle of the tip of Afron's tongue in Makara's belly button
"to your marvelous, thick cock. — D.C. Juris

His mind filled with visions of a decadent kleptocracy in rapid decline, abetted by both political parties. America's masses, fed on processed poison bought with a food stamp swipe card. Low-skill workers, structurally unable to ever contribute again and too dumb to know their old jobs weren't coming back. The banks in Gotham leaching the last drops of wealth out of the country. Corporations unrestrained by any notion of national interest. The system of property law in shambles. The world drowning in debt. — George Packer

He looked up through long, wet lashes and narrowed crystal-blue eyes at her. With a final swipe of the towel to his head, he bunched it up in his fist.

The gray ball was sent hurling in the air, spiraled once, and hit her boss square in the face.

Jerry sputtered, and swatted away the offensive material.
Keane "Boom-Yay" O'Shea KNOCK OUT — Michele Mannon

Sawyer rinses the razor under the tap and then brings it back to his face and I am downright mesmerized. I clear my throat and shift on the marble counter.

"The party is optional, Everly. No one is required to 'hang out' with me. They can bring whoever they want, enjoy the free food and alcohol, or they can do whatever they want for the evening." He glances at me as he repeats the rinsing of the razor. "You okay there, Boots?"

"No, I'm kinda wet."

He glances down at the countertop surrounding the sink, devoid of a single splash, and then back to me. He tilts his head in question and makes another swipe with the razor.

"This shaving thing." I wave a hand at his face before fanning myself. "It's fucking hot."

He pauses, a towel in his hand, and shakes his head. "I really am never sure what's coming out of your mouth next — Jana Aston

The windshield wipers were on, and periodically, they made a swipe that gave her a momentarily clear view of the opposite shore. And it was funny, life was a bit like that, wasn't it. You went along, doing your thing, not really seeing the full landscape of where you were for all the daily minutiae you had to take care of - when suddenly, things crystallized and you got a brief picture that left you going, Ah so I am here. — J.R. Ward

I can't help but smile as I swipe a lone tear trailing down my cheek. How can I not be crazy in love with this guy? Time away from him didn't change anything. I can't deny him another chance. That would be denying myself. — Simone Elkeles

The reporter is the daily prisoner of clocked facts. On all working days, he is expected to do his best in one swift swipe at each story. — Jim Bishop

Connected?" I licked again, a broad swipe. "Your fangs and your cock, I mean? They're both long — Mary Hughes

If someone says something unpleasant, I can't say it doesn't smart a bit. It always does. Someone can take a really nasty swipe if they want because it kind of feels powerful for a person to write in a paper and get that thing out there. — Annie Lennox

I'm find," her voice squeaked out. Remembering the maggots-and not one hundred percent sure the ghost had taken them with her-Kylie leapt up, yanked the covers off the bed, and tossed them on the floor, she backed away from the pile of bedding.
"Yeah. You look just fine," Della said sarcastically.
Kylie jumped from foot to foot and brushed off imaginary maggots that she felt crawling on her skin.
Della stood there in Mickey Mouse pajamas, staring at her as if she didn't' know whether to laugh or run.
Kylie stopped dancing and tried to breathe normally. "If I die, promise me I'll be cremated."
Della frowned. "Die?"
"Not that I'm planning to die anytime soon." She gave her arm one more swipe. "But still."
Della shook her head. "I don't know why you pretend you're okay. — C.C. Hunter

Kentucky town opens gas station, upsetting rivals BRUCE SCHREINER | 753 words SOMERSET, KY. - City hall ventured into the retail gas business Saturday, opening a municipal-run filling station that supporters call a benefit for motorists and critics denounce as a taxpayer-supported swipe at the free market. The Somerset Fuel Center opened to the public selling regular unleaded gas for $3.36 a gallon, a bit lower than some nearby competitors. In the first three hours, about 75 customers fueled up at the no-frills station, where there are no snacks, no repairs and only regular unleaded gas. — Anonymous

He grabbed the nearest lizard, twisted it with a loud snap, and tossed it aside. "Hey, baby."
"Hi." I beheaded a lizard. "Where are the kids?"
"With the MSDU." He disemboweled a beast with a quick swipe of his claws. "You're having all this fun without me."
"I'm not doing much. Just having tea and cookies." I cut at another lizard. "Thinking deep thoughts." I love you.
"Then I'll join you."
He loved me, too. — Ilona Andrews

C is for Cash Only. I don't take cards. Where would I put the swipe machine? — Belle De Jour

Perhaps love in the digital age is more like Netflix binge-watching: we enjoy bursts of fantasy, and then move on to something else when it's done. Like browsing for a new series on Netflix, if the relationship doesn't fit perfectly, you can trade it in for something new with the click of a button or a swipe on your phone. — Shannon Mullen

He wasn't in a lot of pain, was he?" he asks. "Not that I could tell." He was convulsing but not in pain. I doubt he was feeling much. "That's my biggest fear. That he'll be in a lot of pain when it happens. It scares me to death." "So you've thought about it," I blurt out. I want to take it back immediately, but it's too late. "Thought about it." He snorts. "It's all I ever fucking think about. Ever." His voice cracks on the last word. "I'm his big brother. I'm supposed to be able to save him from anything that could hurt him. But I can't save him from this." I just listen because there's nothing I can say to comfort him. A teardrop rolls down his cheek, and he brushes it away with a hurried swipe. "He knows how much you care," I say. It's probably the wrong thing to tell him. "The fucker better know how I feel about him. I'd die for every last one of them. I wish it was me instead of him. I'd trade places with him in a heartbeat." "He wouldn't let you." It's the truth. — Tammy Falkner

It would be much more consumer friendly for them to beep you when you swipe your card that says, uh-oh you're over your limit, are you sure you want to use that? — Richard Thaler

I hated that the Metro was carpeted, and that it was so far underground - you felt like a mole by the time you got down the escalator - and I hated that you had to swipe your card to get in and out of the station. I hated that you couldn't eat or drink on the train, and I especially hated that everyone obeyed the rule, like they were afraid they'd be arrested for sipping a cup of Starbucks on their morning commute. — Jennifer Close

It's nothing compared to happiness."
I snorted through gritted teeth. "What happiness?"
"Exactly."
"Reality interrupts - " Jaw clenching, my nostrils flared as I felt a gush of blood flow.
A whisper. "Life." His blink was slow. "The mother of all bitches."
"And the beauty?"
"Its absence is duly noted."
"Only to be found by those later."
Another swipe of my cheeks. "Once they've suffered to the point they scream for death."
"Full circle."
His hand found mine in a gentle hold. "Pain needs to be felt. — Scarlett Dawn

Catherine Land liked the beginnings of things. The pure white possibility of the empty room, the first kiss, the first swipe at larceny. And endings, she liked endings, too. The drama of the smashing glass, the dead bird, the tearful goodbye, the last awful word which could never be unsaid or unremembered.
It was the middles that gave her pause. This, for all its forward momentum, this was a middle. The beginnings were sweet, the endings usually bitter, but the middles were only the tightrope you walked between the one and the other. No more than that. — Robert Goolrick

I don't need these," Ian said, flashing emerald in his turquoise gaze for a split second, "when I have this."
With a casual swipe of his hand, he ripped his shirt open, causing buttons to fly everywhere. Another swipe took his sleep mask all the way off. Finally, he finger-combed his shoulder-length hair and smiled at his reflection in the rearview mirror.
"I am, after all, irresistible."
I couldn't contain my snort. "I resisted you just fine the day we met, or don't you remember me sticking a knife in your chest?"
Ian smiled with lazy wickedness. "I remember, but you seem to have forgotten that you kissed me first. And thoroughly enjoyed it. — Jeaniene Frost

Having to explain to a child of today, who has learned to swipe before they can speak, that certain aspects of a person's life must remain private for the preservation of one's sanity is almost frivolous. — Aysha Taryam

Swipe from the best, then adapt. — Tom Peters

At the age of twenty-two, suspecting their time was limited, Ichimei and she had gorged on love to enjoy it to the full, but the more they tried to exhaust it, the wilder their desire became, and whoever says that every flame must sooner or later be extinguished is wrong, because there are passions that blaze on until destiny destroys them with a swipe of its paw, and even then hot embers remain that need only a breath of oxygen to be rekindled. — Isabel Allende

Ferguson also takes a swipe at the conventional wisdom surrounding aspects of World War I. "The key to the Allies' victory was not an improvement in their ability to kill the enemy," Ferguson argues, "but rather a sudden increase in the willingness of German soldiers to surrender."5 — Luke Williams

Yes, a good swipe at head height would kill ... some mother's son, some sister's brother, some lad who'd followed the drum for a shilling and his first new suit. If only he'd been trained, if only she'd had a few weeks stabbing straw men until she could believe that all men were made of straw. — Terry Pratchett

Avis Budget, recognising the emerging threat, spent $500m last year buying Zipcar, the world's largest example of a "car club", a form of sharing in which vehicles are parked on the streets and users can rent them, using a swipe-card, by the hour. In theory, the giant hire firms are well-placed to operate the car-club model: conventional rentals peak during the week, whereas club-car use peaks at weekends, so they can achieve high utilisation rates by shifting cars between the two services. Car clubs and other forms of sharing are proving especially attractive to young drivers. That is encouraging the carmakers to return to a business they have dabbled in before (Hertz has been owned by both Ford and GM; and GM once part-owned Avis). — Anonymous

Should I be insulted that you're so eager to enjoy another man's pork?" I leaned out of the bathroom, toothbrush mid-swipe, and grinned. "Ethan Sullivan, did you just make a joke?" He hadn't, at least from the look on his face. But I wasn't threatened by the possessiveness in his eyes. Because bacon. — Chloe Neill

It is as though horror has frozen the blood in my veins, paralyzed my arms, and torn all thought from my brain with the swipe of a paw. I sit there, flying on, and continue to stare, as though mesmerised, at the Cauldron on my left. — Ernst Udet

The proper method of playing mixed doubles is to swipe the ball accidentally and straight at the woman opponent as hard and as accurately as possible. Male players must not only retain equanimity on their side of the net, but create dissension on the other. — Art Hoppe

I'm blessed with learning easily. I've always had a good thing about memorizing quickly, and I just leave the script kind of open somewhere, and as I walk by I'll just take a swipe at it and then go on about my business and pretty soon it sticks. — Betty White

Imagine the terrestrial timespan as an outstretched arm: a single swipe of an emery-board, across the nail of the third finger, erases human history. We haven't been around for very long. And we've turned the earth's hair white. Sh e seemed to have eternal youth but now she's ageing awful fast, like an addict, like a waxless candle. Jesus, have you seen her recently? we used to live and die without any sense of the planet getting older, of mother earth getting older, living and dying. We used to live outside history. But now we're all coterminous. We're inside history now all right, on its leading edge, with the wind ripping past our ears. Hard to love, when you're bracing yourself for impact. And maybe love can't bear it either, and flees all planets when they reach this condition, when they get to the end of their twentieth centuries. — Martin Amis

A tap is a zero-length swipe. — Apple Inc.

Have you had much luck tonight?" she asked.
His gaze slipped to the neat stacks of coins in front of her. "No' as much as ye, my lady."
She let her own stare trail across her piles of winnings. Shame sizzled against her cheeks.,,,
"Perhaps I'm lucky tonight myself," he said.
The silky undertone in his voice crept up her back like the skilled swipe of a musician's fingers strumming a harp.
"What do you mean?" Of course she knew what he meant, but the glint of flirtation in his eye begged her to prompt him for the compliment.
A golden dollop of honey dribbled to lure the bee.
And she buzzed ever closer.
He pulled his freshly dealt cards toward him. "Perhaps I'm lucky tonight because I've met ye. — Madeline Martin

Kane crossed the room and hunkered down next to me. He placed his elbow on the arm of the sofa behind me and gently scratched my back which his fingers. "Why don't you come to bed?"

His voice was low and inviting.

"Maybe because she has company, i.e. me, you dirty bastard." Keela flared. "Stop seducin' her when I'm sittin' right next to your nasty arse."

I beamed at Keela, and Kane smiled at me. He used his free hand to swipe away the already forgotten tears on my cheeks. "There's my babydoll."

Keela giggled. "That's adorable, but you're still nasty."

I flicked my eyes in her direction and playfully narrowed them. "Do you mind?"

"Not at all," she acknowledged. "You do your thing."

Kane nudged me and gave me a wink. "You shouldn't have ever fed her, she'll never leave now."

Keela gasped in mock horror. "I'm not a dog. How dare you! — L.A. Casey

Yeah, it stings. But at least I feel something. Something besides hungry. Something besides afraid. Weird. I always thought cutters were sick. Sicker than me, even. But with a single swipe I understand why they do it. Why they like it, even though they hate it. I let the water run over the cut, ratchet it hotter, watch the blood slow, stutter, almost halt. I like the way the exposed flesh looks, all pinkish white. It looks new, although I know that isn't right. It's the same age as my skin, as my bones. Me. It's been there with me since the beginning. Been with me through thick. Thin. Daddy. Suddenly, I don't like how it looks at all. — Ellen Hopkins

I put my fingers under Emily's chin, tilting her head up. "I love you."
Emily's dark eyes widen and if this moment wasn't so dire, I'd laugh at her expression. swipe a finger across her smooth cheek. "I've never said that to anyone and I don't plan on it being the last time, either. I love you, Emily, and I'm telling you we'll work ths out. — Katie McGarry

We live in an era where each of us has a massive catalog of film and television available through the internet at the swipe of a finger. To get folks out of their homes for a piece of art or entertainment, I think you need to offer something they can't get on Netflix or Amazon. — Nick Blaemire

'The Devil's Dictionary' reads like a collection of great Twitter posts. And as people do with tweets, they can swipe Bierce's best lines and recite them as nearly their own. The reflected glory of reposting. — Victor LaValle

I finally drift back to sleep. I'm in the darkness. The molecules of my mind are still scattered, and I float through oily black space, trying to swipe them up like fireflies. Every time I go to sleep, I know I may never wake up. How could anyone expect to? You drop your tiny, helpless mind into a bottomless well, crossing your fingers and hoping that when you pull it out on its flimsy fishing wire it hasn't been gnawed to bones by nameless beasts below. Hoping you pull up anything at all. — Isaac Marion

He's not Charonte, that would be too easy an excuse for him, and there really isn't one. He's just an irritable bastard ... Much like Savitar." Max
"I save your ass and you take a swipe at me? Really?" Savitar — Sherrilyn Kenyon

She'd heard of black American Express cards before, because famous people had them, and now she was holding one with her name on it. The card was cool against her skin, like it was made out of metal instead of plastic, and it was thick and heavy, so it didn't bend like a normal credit card. Would it even slide through a swipe machine? She hit it against her palm, surprised by the echo of the metal. Rock-solid, it felt indestructible. — Michelle Madow

I don't think it's really good once you've lost an election to sit around, watch your former opponent, and swipe at them. — Kerry Healey

I am not inspired by helping you find Chinese food at 2am in Dallas, or swipe right to get laid. I want to use tech and data to make the world a better place. — Nancy Lublin

The man behind the counter seemed to have stopped listening to him. He slid a room key across the fake-wood-grain counter and returned to his scribbled lorem ipsums. Neethan could have gone on for hours with this guy, chatting him up about music made by mentally handicapped people and the myriad challenges of international aid organizations, but this was a person programmed to hand out room keys and swipe credit cards and engage in only the amount of conversation needed to keep such transactions rolling along smoothly. If that meant asking about a guest's gigantic celestial head, then that's just what good customer service was all about. — Ryan Boudinot

He hadn't found what he'd meant to find, but his need to swipe and hoard something had been appeased for now. — Cherie Priest

Alec surprised Magnus and the werewolf both by breaking away and lunging at Marcy. Whatever he had been planning, it didn't work: this time the werewolf's swipe caught him full in the chest. Alec went flying into a hot pink wall decorated with gold glitter. He hit a mirror set into the wall and decorated with curling gold fretwork with enough force to crack the glass across.
"Oh, stupid Shadowhunters," Magnus moaned under his breath. But Alec used his own body hitting the wall as leverage, rebounding off the wall and up, catching a sparkling chandelier and swinging, then dropping down as lightly as a leaping cat and crouching to attack again in one smooth movement. "Stupid, sexy Shadowhunters. — Cassandra Clare

I like big books and I cannot lie.
You other readers can't deny
That when a kid walks in with The Name of the Wind
Like a hardbound brick of win.
Story bling.
Wanna swipe that thing
Cause you see that boy is speeding
Right through the book he's reading.
I'm hooked and I can't stop pleading.
Wanna curl up with that for ages,
All thousand pages.
Reviewers tried to warn me.
But with that plot you hooked
Me like Bradley.
Ooh, crack that fat spine.
You know I wanna make you mine.
This book is stella 'cause it ain't some quick novella. — Jim C. Hines

Deadpool: I'm just gonna swipe left on this whole fight if that's cool — Gerry Duggan

What do you think of when you think of mourning?' Jenny asks.
The question snaps me back to attention. I answer without really thinking. "I guess 'Funeral Blues' by W.H. Auden. I think it was Auden. I suppose that's not very original.'
'I don't know it.'
'It's a poem.'
'I gathered.'
'I'm just clarifying. It's not a blues album.'
Jenny ignores my swipe at her intelligence.
'Does your response need to be original? Isn't that what poetry is for, for the poet to express something so personal that it ultimately is universal?'
I shrug. Who is Jenny, even new Jenny, to say what poetry is for? Who am I for that matter?
'Why do you thin of that poem in particular?'
"Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone, / Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone, / Silence the pianos and with muffled drum / Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.'
I learned the poem in college and it stuck. — Steven Rowley

Selection. Each button in the tool bar has variable width except for the search button, which is a fixed square. Users may tap on the title of the card to open a menu and make a non-linear jump to another card. if the number of options in the menu exceeds the height of the card, then the menu should scroll. After users have advanced past the first available card, then cards peek on either side of the active card. Users may tap, swipe or use pagepress to advance — Anonymous

I put on lip balm first thing in the morning and always use it before I swipe on my red lipstick. — Heather Morris

The world is full of narcissistic cybersex playboys ready to replace you with the swipe of finger when you say "no" or order an appetizer with your drink. — Cat Volz

Every time you pick up the phone, dial a number, write an e-mail, make a purchase, travel on the bus carrying a cell phone, swipe a card somewhere, you leave a trace, and the Government has decided that it's good idea to collect it all, everything, even if you've never been suspected of doing a crime. — Edward Snowden

Thankfully, beauty is easier to remove than apply, and a swipe of demaquillage in the right direction and you are you once again. — Margaret Cho

I felt his forehead against mine, another swipe of his thumb to wipe the wetness away and I heard him whisper, Baby, I can't keep up. — Kristen Ashley

He'd gotten in a quick swipe with his tongue the moment he'd been close enough to reach. Then, just to be sure, he went in for another sample, bathing Alex's leg with saliva, careful to miss the dangly bits between the man's legs. Edgar didn't get what the big deal was. He licked himself there all the time. However, Jack made a big deal out of it so he avoided that area like he'd been taught. — Mary J. Williams

Last year, Congress passed a law that directs the Federal Reserve to set limits on debit card swipe fees that are reasonable and proportional to the cost of processing those transactions. Like most Americans, I had no idea that swipe fees charged to American businesses are the highest in the world. — Peter Welch

To swipe the immortal lines uttered by Sam Spade in The Maltese Falcon, a great mystery should take the lid off life and let [you] look at the works. — Dashiell Hammett

My mom never taught me to be waiting for some prince on a white horse to swipe me off my feet. — Tyra Banks

my lips, I bend down and swipe my tongue over the little slit at his tip. He teased me before, and now it's time for some payback. I'm going to worship every inch of Jamie Canning's cock. I'm going to torment him with my tongue until he can't remember a time when my mouth wasn't on his dick bringing him pleasure. I'm going to - Jamie comes the second I wrap my lips around him. Yup, he fucking comes, and I don't know whether to laugh or groan as he starts to shake with release. In the end I do neither - I suck him all the way down to the base, drawing a strangled cry from his lips as I swallow the salty drops that shoot down my throat. — Sarina Bowen

Things used to be easy. Flip a switch? On goes the light. Press a button? You're calling your parents. Swipe a credit card? You just paid for lunch. Easy, simple, convenient. Nothing is like that anymore — Summer Lane

What Now? Talk a walk Start your swipe file Go to the library Buy a notebook and use it Get yourself a calendar Start your logbook Give a copy of this book away Start a blog Take a nap — Austin Kleon

The sweet roll smelled divine, and I thanked him, prancing my way back to Mal and feeling quite pleased with myself. He grabbed my arm and pulled me down a muddy walkway between two houses. "What do you think you're doing?"
"Nobody saw me. He just thought I was another peasant girl."
"We can't take risks like that."
"So you don't want a bite?"
He hesitated. "I didn't say that."
"I was going to give you a bite, but since you don't want one, I'll just have to eat the whole thing myself."
Mal grabbed for the roll, but I danced out of reach, dodging left and right, away from his hands. I could see his surprise, and I loved it. I wasn't the same clumsy girl he remembered.
"You are a brat," he growled and took another swipe.
"Ah, but I'm a brat with a sweet roll. — Leigh Bardugo

These days, checks are direct-deposited, money comes out of a machine in the wall, and we swipe a plastic card to make a purchase. In other words, your kids can grow up thinking money comes in an endless supply if you don't show them otherwise. — Jean Chatzky

When we ever invited the beast to dinner he didn't come in and swipe the napkins and start taking notes on the tablecloth 'bout how to take over the whole house? — Toni Cade Bambara

Election officials say that in 2016, it may be possible to vote for the president on your smartphone. Can you imagine that? With one swipe you can choose a president and at the same time tell him or her where you want to hook up. — Conan O'Brien