Subway Funny Quotes & Sayings

This city has so many beautiful women. I fall in love like every ten minutes, I'm sitting on the subway, I'm like, "There's my wife ... there she is - oh, she's getting off. All right, there's the woman - all right, that's a man." — Jim Gaffigan

I once asked a policeman how far it was to the subway. he said, "I don't know, no one has ever made it". — Rodney Dangerfield

They seal the subway change-booth guy up inside this thing with bullet-proof glass, closed in on all sides, it's like some kind of Houdini torture tank of doom. How do you breathe in there? It looks like if you put your hand over the change slot, you could suffocate him in thirty seconds. — Jerry Seinfeld

I know it's technically goodwill to all men, but in my mind, I drop the men because that feels segregationist/elitist/sexist/generally bad ist.
Goodwill shouldn't be just for men. It should also apply to women and children, and all animals, even the yucky ones like subway rats. I'd even
extend the goodwill not just to living creatures but to the dearly departed, and if we include them, we might as well include the undead, those
supposedly mythic beings like vampires, and if they're in, then so are elves, fairies, and gnomes. Heck, since we're already being so generous in our
big group hug, why not also embrace those supposedly inanimate objects like dolls and stu — Rachel Cohn

It's funny, I never considered that people are going to see me on the show and maybe stop me on the subway. — Lena Dunham

Just because we talk slow doesn't mean we think slow, others point out. On the East Coast they seem to think there's something funny about riding around in a pickup truck. Well in the Deep South, we don't think it's all that natural to hurdle through the dark in a crowded subway. — Maryln Schwartz

This is the most exciting place in the world to live. Oh yeah! There are so many ways to die in New York City! Race riots, drive by shootings, subway crashes, construction cranes collapsing on the sidewalks, manhole covers blowing up and asbestos shooting into the sky. — Denis Leary

If you're heading downtown from Centeral Park, my advice is to take the subway. Flying pigs are faster but way more dangerous — Rick Riordan

Because they're in love. They sing songs and make art and they make plans and they think it's going to last, just as bad as the straights. They think that Greece will pull itself out of the gunk and say 'hey, I'm okay' like the Americans did. But no matter how good it gets, they won't ever stop looking at us funny when we kiss on the subway now, will they? — Konstantine Paradias