Quotes & Sayings About Stupidity Funny

Smartass Disciple: Why men don't ready yet to join the intergalactic confederation?
Master of Stupidity: Men could make them laugh to death. It'd be too risky for them. — Toba Beta

I firmly believe that if you can't fool all of the people all of the time you should start breeding them for stupidity. - Weisshaupt — Dave Sim

Most people are idiots — Christopher G. Nuttall

To the stupidity of men, " Dakota said, raising a glass. "And my brother, who is their king. — Susan Mallery

Oliver has stated many times his dislike of hearing advice from his younger sister, so it is his own fault if he has not got sense enough to see which way the wind is blowing. — Patricia C. Wrede

There are those sweet moments in your life where you realize that tings could be infinitely worse; that though you feel it's the end of the world, it is in fact simply a set back and you're being melodramatic. Usually, these moments are painfully pointed out by your best friends: those two funny women who make your day brighter simply because they exist in your world. Those women, who despite all of your many, many, flaws love you regardless and who know way too much about your stupidity when it comes to men and never once have said, "I told you so"...at least to your face. Those women are what make this world bearable when it is too cold to shoulder alone and it is because of them I was able to get up and carry on after something we will from henceforth refer to as "the event. — Sarah Damron

What the hell am I doing ... ? Escape holding myself as a hostage ... ? I won't be able to make it like that ... — Tsugumi Ohba

NO ONE GETS OUT OF CHILDHOOD ALIVE. It's not the first time I've said that. But among the few worthy bon mots I've gotten off in sixty-seven years, that and possibly one other may be the only considerations eligible for carving on my tombstone. (The other one is the one entrepreneurs have misappropriated to emboss on buttons and bumper stickers: The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
(I don't so much mind that they pirated it, but what does honk me off is that they never get it right. They render it dull and imbecile by phrasing it thus: "The two most common things in the universe are ... "
(Not things, you insensate gobbets of ambulatory giraffe dung, elements! Elements is funny, things is imprecise and semi-guttural. Things! Geezus, when will the goyim learn they don't know how to tell a joke. — Harlan Ellison

I know who I am. Bloody hell, I'm getting enough bills for Karl Pilkington so I hope I am him, 'cos if I'm not, I have no idea who I'm paying for. — Karl Pilkington

You're Shane, right?'
He inched away from her and managed a quick nod as he twisted the rag he held in his fingers.
'Heidi sad you were willing to teach me how to ride.' Her expression shifted from entertained to confused, as if she was wondering why no one had mentioned he was a can or two shy of a six-pack.
'A horse,' he clarified, then wanted to kick himself. What else but a horse? Did he think she was here to learn to ride his mother's elephant?
One corner of Annabelle's perfect, full mouth twitched. 'A horse would be good. You seem to have several.'
He wanted to remind himself that he was usually fine around women. Smooth even. He was intelligent, funny and could, on occasion, be charming. Just not now, with his blood pumping and his brain doing nothing more than shouting "it's her, it's her" over and over again.
Chemistry, he thought grimly. It could turn the smartest man into a drooling idiot. Here he was, proving the theory true. — Susan Mallery

We can't against human stupidity. Because they are too many and too dangerous. — Nobita Nobi

Marriage marks the end of many short follies - being one long stupidity. — Friedrich Nietzsche

The stupidity of one brain multiplied by twelve. — Elbert Hubbard

Use that fluff of yours you call a brain. — Agatha Christie

I am so stupid, so easily fooled. It's really almost funny. If I could lift a finger I would gladly kill myself. — Will Christopher Baer

Crashing is never funny, but sometimes you can jump up, laugh at your stupidity, and go, 'What the hell was that?' — Jens Voigt

Maple thought optimistically that human beings, on their good days, weren't much dimmer than sheep. Or at least, not much dimmer than dim sheep. — Leonie Swann

It all jibed, and the books would close on Jasper as death by misadventure. Unofficially, Eve labeled it death by stupidity, but there wasn't a place on the sheet for that particular observation. - Lt. Eve Dallas on a drunk fall off the roof — J.D. Robb

If you don't do anything stupid when you're young, you won't remember something funny when you're old. — Auliq Ice

By studying human history, we can realize how much of human stupidity has fallen on fertile ground. Is gravity guilty for such an occurrence too? — Eraldo Banovac

It's funny to consider how important things like that felt to me then. Proving people wrong. Fighting stupidity. Wanting formal recognition. It took me a long time to learn that proving people wrong is purposeless, fighting stupidity is futile, and formal recognition prevents people from underestimating you - and thereby from ceding to you surprise and other tactical advantages. — Barry Eisler

Shigure Sohma: So anyway I was wondering if you could stop by the house and take a look at Tohru's cut. That is if it isn't a problem.
Hatori Sohma: No problem. I'll stop by the house this evening.
Shigure Sohma: Hmmm What's this Hatori I don't think I ever heard you sound so eager to come over. Could it be you have a secret crush on Tohru
[long silence from the other end of the phone]
Shigure Sohma: [shouts] I knew it You naughty naughty man you
Hatori Sohma: No I was simply too amazed by your stupidity to say anything. — Natsuki Takaya

Colon thought Carrot was simple. Carrot often struck people as simple. And he was.
Where people went wrong was thinking that simple meant the same thing as stupid. — Terry Pratchett

Don't do anything stupid."
"Don't worry," I whispered over the line, "I'm an expert on stupid."
"You're ... "
"Like, I can spot stupidity, because I know it so well. The way an exterminator knows bugs really well, and can spot where they've been? I'm like that. A stupidinator."
"Never say that word again," Prof said. — Brandon Sanderson

You know you are a human when a beautiful image appearing on television/computer/smartphone/tab screen appears more alive than a living being.
Basically, we are stupid. — Saurabh Sharma

Smartass Disciple: Master, I don't need a fairytale.I need you to tell me the truth.
Master of Stupidity: It is not funny if you just found it. No drama if no lost at first. — Toba Beta

Funny thing about life, it's so easy to view it from the outside in. We can see the exact point where our friends fuck up, do the wrong thing, are blind to what's right in front of them. As in, why the fuck won't they just listen to us and take our advice instead of bumbling all over the place? We watch horror movies and know when to shout at the dumb girl who goes in the basement to investigate that noise; we revel in her stupidity, feel superior to it. If it were us, we assure ourselves, we wouldn't be so stupid. Sure we would; we just wouldn't realize the danger. Because the truth is, we're walking deaf, dumb, and blind half of the time. And even though I can tell myself this afterward, after I fuck up, it doesn't make me feel any better. Because I'm about to do a fuck up royale. With cheese. — Kristen Callihan