Stupid Patrick Quotes & Sayings

Cept for Ben, who I can't describe much further without seeming soft and stupid and like a boy, so I won't, just to say that I never knew my pa, but if you woke up one day and had a choice of picking one from a selecshun, if someone said, here, then, boy, pick who you want, then Ben wouldn't be the worst choice you could make that morning. — Patrick Ness

The title of the class was listed in fresh dark ink: Introduction to Not Being a Stupid Jackass. — Patrick Rothfuss

Sexually active? Sexually active? Patrick and I hadn't even learned the fine points of kissing yet!
I marched on down. 'For your information,' I said from the doorway, as both Dad and Lester jerked to attention, 'I am about as sexually active as a bag of spinach, and if you want to keep me on the porch and not out in the park somewhere behind the bushes, you'll keep the stupid porch light off when I come home with a boy. — Phyllis Reynolds Naylor

When I look back I can't believe I was so stupid as to direct Dealer's Choice. — Patrick Marber

It doesn't matter anyway!" Patrick couldn't sit down. He couldn't. "It's not like sex is anything to shout about! It's icky, and the guy never wants to wear a condom, and I have to give a frickin' health and safety lesson every time I give a blow job because they think I'm stupid, and I know you can get shit from giving head, and I'm not putting that thing in my mouth unless I get a written fucking guarantee that it's not going to drop off or explode or give me some life-threatening disease or mutant antibiotic-resistant gonorrhea! — Amy Lane

What I do know is that if you give a human being a chance to be stupid and violent, then they're going to take it, every time. No matter where they are. — Patrick Ness

Well maybe it is stupid, but it's also dumb! — Patrick Star

And I have this stupid little thought that Aaron didn't survive the croc attack after all, that he died but he's so pissed off at me that dying didn't stop him from coming here to kill me anyway. — Patrick Ness

Conor wasn't stupid. When they'd had the "little talk" the next day, he knew what his mum had done and why she had done it. But that didn't take away from how much fun that night had been. How hard they'd laughed. How anything had seemed possible. How anything good could have happened to them right then and there and they wouldn't have been surprised. — Patrick Ness

Who cares even if I didn't?!" Conor shouted back. "They're just stupid berries. Woo-hoo, so scary. Oh, please, please, save me from the berries!"
The monster looked at him quizzically. How strange, it said. The words you say tell me you are scared of the berries, but your actions seems to suggest otherwise. — Patrick Ness

It's always darkest before the dawn, Todd."
I look at him, baffled. "No, it ain't! What kinda stupid saying is that? It's always lightest before the dawn! — Patrick Ness

She had a face so
charming that visitors of all ages and both sexes would stand stockstill at the sight of her,
unable to pull their eyes away, practically licking that face with their eyes, the way
tongues work at ice cream, with that typically stupid, single
minded expression on their
faces that goes with concentrated licking — Patrick Suskind

And she hates being managed - that is not the word I want. What is it, Maturin?'
'Manipulated.'
'Exactly. She is a dutiful girl - a great sense of duty: I think it rather stupid, but there it is - but still she finds the way her mother has been arranging and pushing and managing and angling in all this perfectly odious. You two must have had hogsheads of that grocer's claret forced down your throats. Perfectly odious: and she is obstinate - strong, if you like - under that bread-and-butter way of hers. It will take a great deal to move her; much more than the excitement of a ball. — Patrick O'Brian

It was only then I realized I didn't know the name of Elodin's class. I leafed through the ledger until I spotted Elodin's name, then ran my finger back to where the title of the class was listed in fresh dark ink: "Introduction to Not Being a Stupid Jackass."
I sighed and penned my name in the single blank space beneath. — Patrick Rothfuss

My heart is broken, broken in a way that will never be healed, broken in a way that feels like it's going to kill me, too, right here on this stupid, freezing beach — Patrick Ness

Simmon pushed his hair out of his eyes, laughing boyishly. You can't argue your way out of this one! She's obviously stupid for you. And you're just plain stupid, so it's a great match. — Patrick Rothfuss

Life ain't fair. It ain't. Not never. It's pointless and stupid and there's only suffering and pain and people who want to hurt you. You can't love nothing or no one cuz it'll all be taken away or ruined and you'll be left alone and constantly having to fight, constantly having to run just to stay alive. — Patrick Ness

He had known it often enough. A delightful child, even a delightful early adolescent, interested in everything, alive,affectionate, would turn into a thick, heavy, stupid brute and never recover: ageing men would become wholly self-centered, indifferent to those who had been their friends, avaricious — Patrick O'Brian

Congratulations, he said. "That was the stupidest thing I've ever seen." His expression was a mix of awe and disbelief. "Ever. — Patrick Rothfuss

They're just stupid berries. Woo-hoo, so scary. Oh, please, please, save me from the berries!"
The monster looked at him quizzically. "How strange", it said. "The words you say tell me you are scared of the berries, but your actions seem to suggest otherwise.
"You're as old as the land and you've never heard of sarcasm?" Conor asked. — Patrick Ness

And because people are stupid and use their noses only for blowing, but believe absolutely anything they see with their eyes, they will say it is because this is a girl with beauty and grace and charm. — Patrick Suskind

The trapper nodded and returned his pistol to its holster. 'He can count to one hundred if it suits you,' he said, opening and closing his hand to stretch it.

Charlie made a sour face. 'What a stupid thing to say. Think of something else besides that. A man wants his last words to be respectable.'

'I will be speaking all though this day and into the night. I will tell my grandchildren of the time I killed the famous Sisters brothers.'

'That at least makes some sense. Also it will serve as a humorous footnote. — Patrick DeWitt

Moving heavy objects allowed me to feel manly in the eyes of other men. With the women it didn't matter, but I enjoyed subtly intimidating the guys with bad backs who thought they were helping out by telling us how to pack the truck. The thinking was that because we were furniture movers, we obviously weren't too bright. In addition to being strong and stupid, we were also thought of as dangerous. It might have been an old story to Patrick and the others, but I got a kick out of being mistaken as volatile. All I had to do was throw down my dolly with a little extra force, and a bossy customer would say, Let's just all calm down and try to work this out. — David Sedaris

Forty-seven generations before, the King of the Southerners had stolen a rhinoceros out of the Northern King's private zoo. ( - That's it? - Wars have started for less. - But that's stupid. - Precisely.) — Patrick Ness

There's no amount of money that makes you feel better when people think of you as a joke or a hack or a failure or ugly or stupid or morally empty. — Patrick Stump

That's the most stupid expression in the world. 'I fell in love' - as if you had no choice. There's a moment, there's always a moment; I can do this, I can give in to this or I can resist it. I don't know when your moment was but I bet there was one. — Patrick Marber

Talent deserves to be honored. Hands deserve to be slapped if you do something stupid as well, but don't take it too far. — Patrick Swayze

I think maybe our team was too young and stupid to even know what was going on. — Patrick Kane

Embarrased and a bit humiliated, that's how I fel, and dissapointed. Patrick and I made so much sense together. We were comfortable, and he had kissed me. I had constructed the entire scenario in my head of how our relationship would grow and progress. I felt stupid for ever thinkig those things. Patrick's heart belonged to someone else. — Ruta Sepetys

I was very against pink and purple when I was young, because they were girls' colors. But that was only because I didn't want people to write me off for what I can do. When I got into my 20s, I decided that was stupid. — Danica Patrick

You won't kill me, you stupid worthless bitch. But you best believe that we will kill you. We'll make your friend's death look as cute as puppies and kittens compared to yours. It's just too bad that you won't be able to witness it. Bummer." - Patrick Calveri — Tina Nelson

("I knew it," Conor grumbled. "These kinds of stories always have stupid princes falling in love." He started walking back to the house. "I thought this was going to be good.")
(With one swift movement, the monster grabbed Conor's ankles in a long, strong hand and flipped him upside down, holding him in mid-air so his T-shirt rucked up and his heartbeat thudded in his head.)
(As I was saying, said the monster.) — Patrick Ness

I rub the ears of my dog, my stupid goddam ruddy great dog that I never wanted but who hung around anyway and who followed me thru the swamp and who bit Aaron when he was trying to choke me and who found Viola when she was lost and who's licking my hand with his little pink tongue and whose eye is still mostly squinted shut from where Mr. Prentiss Jr. kicked him and whose tail is way way shorter from where Matthew Lyle cut it off when my dog - my dog - went after a man with a machete to save me and who's right there when I need pulling back from the darkness I fall into and who tells me who I am whenever I forget. — Patrick Ness

Where's Kiernan?" I asked.
"He's with Brother Cyrus. Your turn."
The blood drained from my face and I stepped back, toward the wall. One of the older women, Glory, had died from a heart attack the year before. At the burial, all of the adults patted each other on the back and said she was with Brother Cyrus now.
The key suddenly felt like a lit coal in my hand, and I dropped it to the floor.
Patrick must have realized what I was thinking from my expression. "No, stupid," he said, as he bent down to pick up the key. "He's not dead. He's with Cyrus. In the future. He's fine. You'll be fine. — Rysa Walker

Memory is stupid, ain't it? — Patrick Ness

Poo" Manchee barks quielty to himself. "Poo, poo, poo."
"Just have yer stupid poo and quit yapping about it. — Patrick Ness

I don't want to be human. I want to see gamma rays, I want to hear X-rays, and I want to smell dark matter. Do you see the absurdity of what I am? I can't even express these things properly, because I have to - I have to conceptualize complex ideas in this stupid, limiting spoken language, but I know I want to reach out with something other than these prehensile paws, and feel the solar wind of a supernova flowing over me. I'm a machine, and I can know much more.
- John Cavil, Cylon Model Number One, No Exit — Patrick Di Justo