Stripper Quotes & Sayings

He planned to stick to her like pasties on a stripper. — Gena Showalter

Cara Kim sucked in her breath when she realized a man was standing behind her. God, how long had he been there? Given the sort of lusty, heated look on his face, it was possible he'd seen her putting on her robe. Seen her naked.

Which might not seem like a big deal, since she danced nude for a living, but it had the potential to ruin her night.No man had ever seen her naked without the screen in front of her. Not one man ever, because she was arguably the oddest attraction in all of Vegas - the virgin stripper. — Erin MacCarthy

Jesus, Ally, you're living with a stripper?"
"She decided not to do it. She got a job at Hooters instead."
"Oh, well, in that case, I feel much better," he says sarcastically. — Lauren Barnholdt

Well, if it's as easy as catching my future from a blood relative, then I guess I'm due to be a drunk, pregnant, dropout stripper any day now. — A.S. King

Fill in?" she demanded. "For the weekend?" She winced as if each of these words were causing her pain. "I am afraid we do not handle that sort of thing." By that she implied that I had requested a stripper straight from the Casbah. So — Rhys Bowen

I did everything, I used to be a drag queen, I used to be a stripper. — DeObia Oparei

A punching bag. The guy was pounding on a punching bag. That realization took about a nanosecond to register in her brain before the real important information came to the forefront: LoriSue, God bless her slutty little soul, had been absolutely correct. He was male-stripper material, and he'd been thoughtful enough to strip to a pair of athletic shorts on his very first night in the neighborhood. — Susan Donovan

Modesty is a learned adaptation. It's stuck on like decals. As soon as life slams a modest person against the wall, that modesty will fall off faster than a G-string will fall off a stripper. — Maya Angelou

Consider me your candy stripper ... I mean striper. — Simone Elkeles

Kyle dumped me for some stripper whore who shops at Wet Seal. — Diablo Cody

I'm feeling a low regarding writing. I sometimes think I should finish working on my book of stripper poetry that I started, but other times I feel like it's not worth it. Sometimes I think I should work on my comic book idea, and then other times I want to work on a website, and still other times I think I should be working on this memoir. That's a lot of thinking about writing without a whole lot of writing going on. — Sheila Hageman

So, I was thinkin' of pickin' up a job as a male stripper . It would be a way to meet women and earn money. Thoughts?" That should refocus his brother if no other way but him pausing to consider it. Quinn had undiagnosed ADHD, Chance was sure of it, and on occasion you had to refocus him. The same worked when Quinn went off on a tangent, you had to flash something bright to get him off the tangent, and in this case, the shiny was Chance becoming a stripper. — Alex Morgan

$16 billion in complex securities whose value ultimately turned on the ability of a Las Vegas stripper with five investment properties, or a Mexican strawberry picker with a single $750,000 home, to make rapidly rising interest payments. — Michael Lewis

Six months earlier, my ice breaker concerned a stripper who became a quadriplegic and eventually had her vagina eaten away by bedsores, not the easiest thing to wrangle into a conversation. But if I could pull that off, I figured that a burning mouse should pose no problem. — David Sedaris

Covered in slivered almonds and soaked in booze, Italian rum cake is everything kids hate about everything. No one even ate it. It just got thrown away. Cake Time is supposed to be the climax of a birthday, but instead it was a crushing disappointment for all. I imagine it's like being at a bachelor party only to find that the stripper has overdosed in the bathroom. — Tina Fey

One girl who stands out was this Miami stripper. She still lives with her mother and father, and they know she strips. They call her by her stripper name, Freaky Red. — Method Man

Where is Barbie?"
The female shifter snickered and choked it off.
"Is there a stripper pole? — Ilona Andrews

Quin's smile was open and innocent and as fake as the tits on a stripper. — Amy Fecteau

There's sort of a progression going back to the fifties: Bubbles, Boom Boom, and Blaze begat Bambi, Candy, and Jewel, who begat Sunshine, Brandy, and Cinnamon, who begat Amber, Brittany, and Brie, who begat Reagan, Morgan, and Madison. Madison is a stripper name. — Christopher Moore

The sun rose like a stripper, keeping its glory well covered by cloud till it seemed there'd be no show at all. — Clive Barker

When I was a stripper I realized that men and women are equally fucked over about sex but in such different areas, we're blind to the other's pain. So for certain kinds of guys, women are heartless bitches and cock teases and will bleed you dry before giving you a kiss. And for some women, men are asshole jerks who only want one thing. They'll love you and leave you. I don't see it that way. It's the culture keeping them equally ignorant and feeding them nonsense. And then saying, go of and get married! — Nina Hartley

PS, I want a stripper for my birthday," GQ announces. "Just decided now. Get on it."

"I'll make a couple calls," Garrett promises, but the second his friend wanders off, he confides, "He's not getting a stripper. We all chipped in to get him a new iPod. He dropped his in the koi pond behind Hartford House."

When I snicker, Garrett pounces like a mountain lion. "Holy shit. Was that a laugh? I didn't think you were capable of showing amusement. Can you do it again and let me film it?"

"I laugh all the time." I pause. "Mostly at you, though."

He grabs his chest in mock pain as if I've shot him. "You're terrible for a guy's ego, y'know that? — Elle Kennedy

The psychotic clown I sent for his birthday will feel like a feather falling on a pillow atop a cloud. The laxative in my lunch? Child's play. If you think it was bad when I sent that fake resume for his open assistant position and the stripper came for the interview? No. We're talking Defcon Five, Vietcong-level mind fucking, do you hear me, Chloe? — Christina Lauren

Sometimes, when I'm alone, I put on six inch heels and wear nothing else and dance around in front of the mirror and do my little stripper dance. — Tori Spelling

When I asked him for some explanation as to why he wanted to kill me, he said it was because he didn't like his jobs. When I asked him since when had he not liked his jobs, he said since always. When I remarked that he had never told me this, and that I had gotten the impression that he had liked them, he said: "How is that possible? You know me. Do I strike you as stupid or boring?"
"No."
"Then how could you think I would enjoy being an etiquette expert, or a Weight Watchers' counselor, or a stripper? How could you think that someone like me, with my mind, my character, would derive any satisfaction from those things? — Amanda Filipacchi

Rule one when you're working as a stripper, if a guy comes in with a lady, always make eye contact with her before you approach the man she's with. — C.M. Stunich

I had seen this exact same expression and movement before - where? In the future I would come to know that look as the beginning of the end of love - the death of a man's trying. It read as Haughty Fatigue. Like the name of a stripper. — Lorrie Moore

I realize Jubilee is a bit of a stripper name. You probably think I have heard the call of the pole. — Maureen Johnson

I ate the roll, and forced down some more sparkling wine. When your eyes closed against the sun again, and I had nothing else to look at I glanced quickly at your chest, curious, really. I'd only seen chests like that in magazines. I wondered if that's how you'd got all your money ... modeling. I looked down at my stomach. I grabbed at it, seeing how much fat I could lift up in a roll.
"Don't worry," you said, one eye open again like a crocodile, watching me. "You're beautiful." You tipped your head back again "Beautiful," you murmured. "Perfect."
"You wouldn't know. You're built like some sort of supermodel." I bit my lip, wishing I hadn't complimented you like that. "Or a stripper," I added. "Prostitute."
"I wouldn't want you to think I'm repulsive," you said, half smiling.
"Too late."
You opened your other eye to squint at me. "Will you ever give me a break? — Lucy Christopher

Parties that ended with stabbing weren't part of the long term plan. Neither was being tied to a man in prison, working as a stripper, or worrying about whether or not I was safe without a goddamned brand across my back like a fucking cow. — Joanna Wylde

My name is Nick Gautier and this is the story of my life. First off, get the name right. It's pronounced Go-shay not Go-tee-ay or Goat-chay (that has an extra H in it and as my mom says we're so poor we couldn't afford the extra letter). I'm not some fancy French fashion designer. I'm just a regular kid ... well as regular as someone with a stripper for a mother and a career felon for a father can be. — Sherrilyn Kenyon

Ali wrinkled her forehead and cocked her head to the side. Clearly, she hadn't prepared herself for me to be pleasant. After a moment, her eyes narrowed. "What exactly did you and Lake did yesterday?" she asked, like we might have held up a gas station and gone on a crime spree across the country, all in the span of just a few hours.
"We went to Mexico, had some tequila, eloped with a pair of drug smugglers, and took part-time jobs as exotic dancers. You know, same old, same old."
Ali snorted.
"I'm torn on stripper names. It's either going to be Lady Love or Wolfsbane Lane. Thoughts?"
Ali threw a onesie at me. "Brat. — Jennifer Lynn Barnes

I can't find a goddamn fucking job and I'm too fat to be a stripper, I said as I polished off a stale croissant. — Lena Dunham

Boomer took bites of all six varieties, contemplating each one and "guring out the order in which he would then eat them. "I like the
brown one and the lighter brown one and the almost-brown one. I'm not so sure about the minty one. But really, I think the lebkuchen spice
one is the best."
"The what?"
"The lebkuchen spice one." He held it up for me. "This one."
"You're making that up. What's a lebkuchen spice? It sounds like a cross between a Keebler elf and a stripper. Hello, my name ees
Lebkuchen Spice, and I vant to show you my cooooookies ... "
"Don't be rude!" Boomer protested. As if the cookie might be offended. — David Levithan

She tucked a five-dollar bill into my dress strap - like I was a stripper! — Dia Reeves

Linc's head came up at the knock on the door. "Somebody ordered a stripper, right? I knew you
guy's wouldn't let me down."
"It's the pizza." Theo leaped up.
"More pizza? Theo, you can't possibly want more pizza."
"Sure I can," he shouted over his shoulder to his father. "Ty said I could."
"I said he could order it for me. He inhaled the last order."
Linc sent Tyler a sorrowful look. "You couldn't arrange for a stripper to deliver the pizza?"
"They were all out of strippers. Shriners' convention."
"Likely story. Well, I hope he got pepperoni at least. — Nora Roberts

No one expects an eighty-five-year-old Navy SEAL stripper. No one. And that was the beauty of George. — Penny Reid

Where is Wilkins, anyway?" Cameron asked.
"In the living room, being accosted by eighteen women who think he's a stripper. I thought it was best to duck in here."
"So much for never leaving a man behind."
"If he starts screaming, I'll lay down a cover fire and go pull him out. — Julie James

You could charm the pants off absolutely anyone," I told him quietly.
He smirked. "I take it that means you like the idea?"
"I love the idea. I love everything you've said. But I know Ellie's excited about this, so we're going to give our friends what they want."
"Adam mentioned strippers," Braden warned me, his eyes twinkling.
"If Adam books a stripper for you, I'll force Ellie to book a stripper for me.
Chuckling, Braden relaxed back in his chair. "Let's agree to no strippers."
I raised my glass of water and waited for Braden to do the same. "To no strippers."
"To no strippers," he repeated.
"And let's just make this a motto for our marriage. — Samantha Young

I think encouraging young people to twerk might be a bad thing. It's a stripper's move. If I had a daughter of nine, I wouldn't want her twerking. — Ed Sheeran

People expect me to be with some stripper ... That's just the kind of woman I work with. — Luther Campbell

I stared down into his handsome face while my mouth gaped like a fish. Oh my good God. No wonder I had thought he was a stripper. I had asked him to take his clothes off. If I had been alone I would have beat my head against the wall. An image of Sam stopping his hands fluttered through my mind and my cheeks heated. I really had told him to take his clothes off. — Nichole Chase

Next time, I'll get a male stripper. All parties should be equal opportunity hard-ons. What do you like? Cops? Firemen? — Ashlan Thomas

Next thing I know, my legs are slipping down the pole, and I'm all like 'Man down!' or at least 'Stripper down! — J. Lynn

I like stripper shoes. I like being tall because I'm claustrophobic. — Jessie J.

People think that I changed my name. I could've been an actress, a superhero, or a stripper. — January Jones

He wanted to wear sweatpants, because "they tear easier." I asked him if he wanted me to get him some male stripper jeans so he could avoid looking like a Russian gangster from pre-Shift movies, after which he got all offended and put on a pair of regular jeans instead. — Ilona Andrews

Love poem to a stripper 50 years ago I watched the girls shake it and strip at The Burbank and The Follies and it was very sad and very dramatic as the light turned from green to purple to pink and the music was loud and vibrant, now I sit here tonight smoking and listening to classical music but I still remember some of their names: Darlene, Candy, Jeanette and Rosalie. Rosalie was the best, she knew how, and we twisted in our seats and made sounds as Rosalie brought magic to the lonely so long ago. now Rosalie either so very old or so quiet under the earth, this is the pimple-faced kid who lied about his age just to watch you. you were good, Rosalie in 1935, good enough to remember now when the light is yellow and the nights are slow. — Charles Bukowski

People know my lyrics; they know the stuff I've written, and it's all about life, love, happiness, and these big euphoric moments. It would always bug me when I'd go to a club, and they're playing some chick on a stripper pole on the monitor behind me. I'm like, 'So that's not what I do - that's the other guy.' — Kaskade

There are also the people too bizarre to ignore, like Kyle Simpson. Future male stripper. — Jay Asher

Jerome sighed and set down his fork. "Are you still doing that, Georgie? Don't I suffer enough without having to endure the humiliation of a succubus who moonlights as a Christmas elf?"
"You always said I should quit the bookstore and find something else to do," I reminded him.
"Yes, but that was because I thought you'd go on to do something respectable. Like become a stripper or the Mayor's mistress. — Richelle Mead

Honestly kiddo? You're beautiful. You use your weight as an excuse but you're just all woman. Not every woman has to look like a stripper. Or a model. Or Megan Fox. You're petite, have a tiny waist, a fantastic rack, a devastating ass ... what the hell more do you want? You should know it. Everyone else knows it ... that's why you're getting all these asinine comments. Can't you just see that it's just jealously that's ripping these people apart? — Karina Halle

I don't remember agreeing to send you an honest stripper. Just a willing one.
(Cash) — M. Leighton

I've decided," he said, now focusing on the other breast, "that tomorrow is a no-clothes day. From now on, every Sunday is Stripper Sunday. The only thing you can wear are stilettos. — Lisa Edward

Luke came to me and took the gun out of my hand. "I need to find a way to erase the last three minutes," he muttered, sounding aggrieved.
"Why?" I asked.
"I just watched my boy's sister strip. There's laws against that," he replied, not taking his eyes off Mace ... but I had a feeling what Luke was doing was studiously avoiding seeing me in sequined undies and stripper shoes.
"No there's not," I said to Luke and he finally looked at me.
"Babe, there are. Trust me," he stated. — Kristen Ashley

She was wearing a black pantsuit with a pale pink turtleneck underneath, a painfully aspirational look for a stripper. — Gillian Flynn

... The shocking thing about any stripper gathering, I discovered, was that you have never heard women talk so fast and so explicitly about money in all your life. They make the guys on the trading floor on Wall Street look like a bunch of pansies. — Susie Bright

If I can iron out my accent, it opens up another world of possible jobs. Whereas if you have that very strong European accent, it leaves you always being cast as the Hungarian maid or the stripper or whatever. I have voice lessons, and my coach has given me different tongue-twisters to rehearse at home. — Birgitte Hjort Sorensen

One can't mount a stripper pole wearing a metal diving suit. — Mary Karr

Jesus H. Christ on a stripper pole! — Scott Blagden

Rachel looked annoyed. "Do you think he's embarrassed by us?"
"More likely he's embarrassed by her," said Gabriel. "She's probably a stripper."
"Professors in glass houses shouldn't throw stones." Rachel glared at her brother and stormed out. — Sylvain Reynard

Did you know Kyle's back?"
"Yes, we saw him earlier, why my panties just dropped at the sight of him. I simply have to get him into my bed faster than a stripper looses her inhibitions. — R.S. Burnett

During my short college stint, every time I picked up a pen, this grinding, unnamed fear overcame me - later identified as fear that my real self would spill out. One can't mount a stripper pole wearing a metal diving suit. What I needed to write kept simmering up while I wrote down everything but that. In fact, I kept ginning out reasons that writing reality was impossible. I cranked up therapy and drank like a fish. — Mary Karr

I have this theory, that this will be the only city that future archaeologists find, Las Vegas. The dry climate will preserve it all and teams of scientists in the year 5000 will carefully sweep and scrape away the sand to find pyramids and castles and replicas of the Eiffel Tower and the New York skyline and stripper poles and snapper cards and these future archaeologists will re-create our entire culture based solely on this one shallow and cynical little shithole. We can complain all we want that this city doesn't represent us. We can say, Yes, but I hated Las Vegas. Or I only went there once. Well, I'm sure not all Romans reveled in the torture-fests at the Colosseum either, but there it is. — Jess Walter

Charlotte, dressed in a very short-skirted policewoman's outfit, was leading a dancing brigade, jumping around at the front of the room, her long red hair flapping up and down like a matador's cape. She was head girl, and she would shows us how to party if she had to.
I wasn't really sure why Charlotte had decided to come to the party as a stripper. I found myself at a loss for words as she complimented us on our costumes.
"You're a..." I tried to find the right thing to say. "Really...hot cop?"
"I'm Amy Pond," she said. "From Doctor Who. This is her kissogram outfit. — Maureen Johnson

Yes, it's me, your PA, now your stripper for the evening. How do you do? — Kate Meader

I need the money, the security, because I might not have the blanket of support and love I have now forever. It could all end, and then I'll find myself at rock bottom, a strung-out stripper like my mother.
I can't let that happen.
I won't let that happen. — Toni Aleo

Well, she's either Jackie or . . . hey, how about Stormy? Like some North Hollywood stripper? — H.W. "Buzz" Bernard

I hope you can grow a third kidney, Drew," Erin says. "Because if Mathew, Jack and Steven ever need one at the same time, you're going to have to hand them over."
( ... )
"Book Jack a table at Scores this weekend. One me"
Nothing says thank you like a prepaid stripper. — Emma Chase

Six month of sitting home, six month of doing absolutely nothing but watching TV, going out, sleeping, getting drunk and sleeping again. Oh no, wait, I was busy with something, I was doing some renovations in my new apartment. Which legally became mine only a month ago. Yep, that's what all my life has been about, spontaneous decisions and living in the moment. Because right now technically I'm a 25-year-old illegal immigrant from Russia, four years in New York, no papers, no work authorization, no work itself. Only a crazy life filled with restaurants, shops, beauty salons, clubs and restaurants again. How is it all possible? Very simple. I used to be a stripper. — Ellie Midwood

He started with his shirt. Inside he was laughing at himself as he undid each button. Chris Welsh, male stripper. But the look in her eyes made him feel like the most potent, desired man on the planet. — Ellen Connor

Women, he would say, are not Muses. Muses are Muses. To confuse one with the other is to mistake the Devouring Void for the Seminal Light. Earthly Women and the Muses are ancient, sworn enemies. The battlefield is the Creative Male. On the one side is the encampment of Discordia, of Diana, of Venus located in his Heart and in his Groin. On the other is the Bastion of Calliope, Clio, Erato, Euterpe, Melpomene, Polyhymnia, Terpsichore, Thalia and Urania, in his Brain and in his Mind. The Muses are tolerant and understanding of border raids, skirmishes, and harassing maneuvers. Throughout the history of the Male Light, there have been few painters, few writers, who have not had a She Who Must Be Accommodated. For some it was their mothers. For many their wives, their mistresses, their girlfriends. For many it was their daughters, a favourite waitress, a stripper, a whore. To the Muses, they are all one. Mother, whore, wife, daughter, stripper, waitress, mistress, girlfriend. — Dave Sim

I got dumped at Taco Bill's today; fell down, split my pants, and generally humiliated myself in front of a complete stranger; went to dinner at a snooty restaurant, found out said stranger is my future step brother; got called a stripper, hooker, and virgin by my mother ... did I leave anything out? — Nicole Christie

It took a lot to render me silent, like learning my grandma had been a stripper in her youth, and that all male Werewolves were hung like horses ... but this was horrific. — Robyn Peterman

Do you recall telling Dr. Phillips during your appointment on February second of last year that you needed to be tested for sexually transmitted diseases because - let me make sure I get this correct here . . ."
Taylor read out loud from her file,

"Because, quote, 'your weasel-dick husband slept with a skanky whore stripper and the cheating bastard didn't use a rubber'?"

Ms. Campbell shot up in her chair. "She actually wrote that down?"

The jury tittered with amused laughter and sat up interestedly. Finally - things were starting to look a little more like Law & Order around here.

"I take it that's a yes?" Taylor asked. — Julie James

I told him if he pulled my tuition I would gladly get a job as a stripper to pay my way through med school, and he hadn't liked it one bit. — Jay Crownover

Christ! He thought we even have a male stripper. What's he going to do, throw his thong at the vampires? — Derek Gunn

Together we kept that machine greased like a stripper in a plastic pool full of baby oil. — Jamie McGuire

The entire time Albie followed Beverly around the house doing what the children referred to as "the stripper soundtrack":
Boom chicka-boom, boom-boom chicka-boom.
When their mother stopped walking the soundtrack stopped. If she took a single step it was accompanied by Albie saying only "boom" in a voice that was weirdly sexual for a six-year-old. — Ann Patchett

Yes,she worked as a stripper in her grandmother's bakery!" she blurts out.What?! It's so unfortunate that my mouth is full of rice right now. Why did I take such a big bite? It's taking forever to chew!"Stripping in a bakery, huh?" Zane says with a ridiculously adorable half smile. "That's pretty awesome."I just keep shaking my head in a tiny mortified sort of way. "I don't ... I'm not a stripper," I stumble over my words,hideously embarrassed. Mom's eyes are huge right now. "Oh, no!" she gasps. "Did I just call you a stripper?!"Indeedly-doodly, Mother. — Nicole Christie

But damn it, if he could be nonchalant about a woman rubbing herself against his giant erection like it was a stripper's pole, then so could she. — Amy Andrews

The one term I don't like to be called is a 'vulture.' Because to me, a vulture is a kind of asset-stripper that eats dead flesh off the bones of a dead creature. Our bird should be the phoenix, the bird that reinvents itself, recreates itself from its ashes. And that's much closer to what it is that we really do. — Wilbur Ross

Joey looked confused and horrified, like a stripper bursting out of a cake only to realize she's been accidentally delivered to a baby shower. — Justin Halpern

And vampires never sparkle unless they just ate a stripper. — James R Tuck

Curious, I asked, "Why do I scare you so much?"

"You don't scare me," she responded immediately, sounding defensive.

"Then why are your hands shaking?"

Jennifer let the spoon fall into the batter bowl and leaned against the counter, her eyes lifting for the briefest of seconds. "You don't scare me, I'm just . . . I'm just nervous."

"Why're you nervous?"

"Because . . . because . . . because you're dangerous. And I have a hard time believing your revenge plan involved anything as benign as a male stripper."

"Make no mistake, George is not benign. He is an eighty-five-year-old committed professional and brings his gun. Well, he brings both his guns. — Penny Reid

Blaze? What kind of name is that? It sounds like a male stripper. — J.L. Weil

Only one day at public school and the bitches already made your locker rain?" she laughs. "Impressive. — Colleen Hoover

Lee threw down the tripod, and Trip dropped the FN MAG machine gun onto it ... Lee hunkered down behind the big weapon. Holly handed me an RPG. The heavy tube was reassuring in my hands. Everyone dug down into the ditch, prepared to fight. Nervous but competent. Scared but professional. We were ready to put some smack down. Not bad for an accountant, a librarian, a schoolteacher, and a stripper. — Larry Correia

I was curious as to how my words started circulating at such an alarming rate. After all, every author waits to be discovered by someone. Anyone. And so I found myself smack bang in the middle of the mad hatters head, and as someone put it, Tumblr might actually be worse than that. But yes, futilely, I was attempting to discover the elusive origin of my words by tracing back notes until I came across my quote right next to a selfie of a stripper, or hooker, with a fox tail butt plug ... and that was when I stopped. — Dimitri Zaik

She was no stripper with a heart of gold, that was for sure. A heart of steel, more like. — Shannon Celebi

You know that girl who sat at lunch with us today, Brittani Monroe?"
"Yep."
"What do you think about her?"
"She's a slut with a stripper name. — Alison G. Bailey

I've got all these great broads in me, all these character women. I was playing a torn-down stripper at twenty-five on Broadway, and now I fit the shoes. — Faith Prince

Daddy is jive talking
and showering the stripper
Mommy is sleepwalking
while changing baby's diaper — Casey Renee Kiser

I liken kissing baby cheeks to kissing stripper boobies. They're both irresistible, but you're bound to catch something. Scientists say there's at least an 18% chance that the world's next deadly viral pandemic is brewing in the saliva stew of a chubby baby's cheeks, or a stripper's boobies, at this very moment. — J. Matthew Nespoli

Where did you get that dress?
I stole it from a homeless person," I say straight-faced. "She was lying right beside the stripper that gave you yours. — M. Leighton

My last girlfriend was a Showgirl - But we eventually broke up because she wouldn't Tell me anything. Now I'm dating a girl who looks exactly like my grandma, only my girl older.
-James Lee Schmidt and Jarod Kintz — James Lee Schmidt

So ... you're an assassin?" Dave asked incredulously.
"Why do I feel like you'd have used the same tone if I'd just confessed to being a stripper?" I demanded.
"Sorry," he said quickly. "I'm just surprised, is all. — Jennifer Rardin

a collection that included, among other items, an Allen wrench set, some pliers, a power drill, several clamps, some hacksaws, an impact-wrench set, a brace of cold-tolerant bungie cords, assorted files and rasps and planes, a crescent-wrench set, a crimper, five hammers, some hemostats, three hydraulic jacks, a bellows, several sets of screwdrivers, drills and bits, a portable compressed gas cylinder, a box of plastic explosives and shape charges, a tape measure, a giant Swiss Army knife, tin snips, tongs, tweezers, three vises, a wire stripper, X-acto knives, a pick, a bunch of mallets, a nut driver set, hose clamps, a set of end mills, a set of jeweler's screwdrivers, a magnifying glass, all kinds of tape, a plumber's bob and ream, a sewing kit, scissors, sieves, a lathe, levels of all sizes, long-nosed pliers, vise-grip pliers, a tap-and-die set, three shovels, a compressor, a generator, a welding-and-cutting set, a wheelbarrow - and so on. And — Kim Stanley Robinson

She was one of the few stay-at-home moms in Ramsey Hill and was famously averse to speaking well of herself or ill of anybody else. She said that she expected to be "beheaded" someday by one of the windows whose sash chains she'd replaced. Her children were "probably" dying of trichinosis from pork she'd undercooked. She wondered if her "addiction" to paint-stripper fumes might be related to her "never" reading books anymore. She confided that she'd been "forbidden" to fertilize Walter's flowers after what had happened "last time. — Jonathan Franzen

I would have made a lousy stripper. I'm just not very comfortable exposing myself. — Robin Wright