Stine Quotes & Sayings

Riley Carlson: So I guess I know what you wanted to tell me. I mean, you made it pretty clear that you don't want to go out with an average girl.
Marc Hudson: That's right, I don't. I want to go out with YOU. There's nothing average about you, Riley. — Megan Stine

Have a haunted haunted Christmas, And a scary New Year's, too. Have a haunted haunted Christmas, And to one and all say, BOO. — R.L. Stine

Conservative concepts believe in little government - take care of yourself, and that makes men who invent things like the constitution! Liberal thought has big government - we'll take care of you - and that creates boys and they create things like Occupy Wall Street! There's a difference between the way men and boys behave. — Brad Stine

Talk about sexist - have you ever, ever, heard someone come up to a woman and say 'find your masculine side?' And by the way women, if you find your masculine side - I'm not interested. — Brad Stine

God is a crutch? Yeah, well, not believing in God is a coma. — Brad Stine

She wasn't wearing a mask! The monstrous green face was her face. She wasn't wearing a monster costume. None of the Horrors were wearing costumes, I realized. I stepped back, raising my hands in horror as if trying to shield myself. — R.L. Stine

When I was a kid my family was really poor and I remember one Halloween I wanted to dress up really scary and my parents came home with a duck costume. I wore that costume for years! I hated it. — R.L. Stine

It's hard for children's authors to be accepted when they try to write adult books. J.K. Rowling is the exception because people are so eager to read anything by her, but it took Judy Blume three or four tries before she had a success. — R.L. Stine

There wouldn't be so many stories about vampires and zombies and other weird creatures if they didn't really exist. — R.L. Stine

Get out of our schools God, get out of our textbooks God, get out of our government God, go away God, go away God, go away God, Katrina hits, God, where are you? — Brad Stine

They got special terms that they use when they're pregnant. They don't even say pregnant, got special words they use - I'm expecting. Expecting what? I'm expecting a child, silly. Well, then, you probably got a good shot! — Brad Stine

I feel happy to terrify kids. — R.L. Stine

If you do enough planning before you start to write, there's no way you can have writer's block. I do a complete chapter by chapter outline. — R.L. Stine

My name is Abe Marcus. Ned and I are identical twins. We look exactly alike. Even Ma and Pa can't tell us apart. But we don't act alike. I am the serious twin. Maybe it's because I am two minutes older. — R.L. Stine

Oh, I know: If you're fat, let's not blame you, let's sue McDonalds! Oh, for cryin' out loud, hey, if you smoke, not your fault, it's the tobacco company's fault! Hey, if you shoot somebody, not your fault, let's blame the gun industry! — Brad Stine

People don't realize, or maybe they've forgotten, that there was a time in history when standup comedy wasn't something that you had to hide your kids' ears from. — Brad Stine

When you're at a comedy club, if you're not funny, you don't work. People will let you know, whether it's by booing or yelling for you to get out of the club. People are drunk or whatever and they'll let you have it. — Brad Stine

I gabbed Ivy's arm. "Look. Ivy. Something just moved - by that tombstone."
We both stared into the gray light.
"Oh, noooo," I moaned.
I watched, trembling in horror as someone climbed out of a grave. — R.L. Stine

Believe it or not, my introduction to scary literature was 'Pinocchio.' My mother read it to me every day before naptime when I was three or four. The original 'Pinocchio' is terrifying. — R.L. Stine

Initially, the laser was called an invention looking for a job. — G. Harry Stine

I pride myself on being able to read whole chapters into a single syllable, you know? What girl doesn't? So when Lennon said "Hi", I ran through a whole list of possibilities. Was it, "Hi, I wish you were Chloe instead of Riley so I could make up with you"? Or did he mean, "You look exactly like the girl I'm totally over, so get out of my sight"? Or was it just, "Hi, I hope you're not as down on me as your sister is and, by the way, could you be careful not to spill anything, either"? But none of those sounded right. Finally I had to admit that he might have just been trying to say hello. Call me crazy, but it could be true! — Megan Stine

A real New Yorker likes the sound of a garbage truck in the morning. — R.L. Stine

Greg had been nearly out the door, on his way next door to Shari's birthday party, when the phone rang.
"Hi, Greg. Why aren't you on your way to my party?" Shari had asked when he'd run to pick up the receiver.
"Because I'm on the phone with you," Greg had replied dryly. — R.L. Stine

This was a normal town once, and we were normal people. Most of us worked at the plastics factory on the outskirts of town. Then one day there was an accident ... something escaped from the factory, a yellow gas. It floated over the town so fast that we didn't see it, didn't realize ... and then it was too late, and Dark Falls wasn't a normal town anymore. — R.L. Stine

The truth is supposed to hurt. That's how it lets you know you don't got it. — Brad Stine

I'm so tired of being lonely,she thought. In so tired of never going out, of never being with a boy,off never having a boy care about me. — R.L. Stine

I suffer from two phobias: 1) Phobia-Phobia, the fear that you're unable to get scared, and 2) Xylophataquieopiaphobia, the fear of not pronouncing words correctly. — Brad Stine

All those decaying zombies eating people and tearing out their guts." She laughed. "Cool! — R.L. Stine

Well, when I was 13, for my bar mitzvah I received my first typewriter. And that was special. — R.L. Stine

I hope that nothing ever wussifies me to deny my own personal beliefs. Brainwashed wussies have been taught that standing up for yourself and defending your personal point of view makes you a close-minded hate monger. One must also be respectful of dissenting belief while supporting their own. — Brad Stine

sari is the most competitive person i know. she has to be the first and best at everything. if everyone is catching the flu, she has to be the first one to catch it! — R.L. Stine

Because when the Creator of matter, tell you you matter, then you have a purpose and then you have self-esteem. — Brad Stine

The sun, through the filter of the trees, glints green off the cells of her suit, outlines her soft curves. I'm overcome with visions of my father poring over his books, and the wet, verdant forest floor, and newts pausing over toxic yellow candy, and leaves flying up from the impact of Bryan's body hitting the ground. Another, confused part of me hears my father's voice calling the refs scum, trash, slime. With flashes of fury at Marisa, mixed with a sad, all-consuming longing that feels dangerously like love, I pluck her hands from my face and push her away. -from Fireseed One — Catherine Stine

The way to stop political correctness is to not do it. If someone says, You offended me then you say I don't care! If they're offended by the truth, that's their issue! — Brad Stine

But there is always one last chance - right? — R.L. Stine

Well, first you have to love writing. A lot of authors love having written. But I enjoy the actual writing. Beside that, I think the main reason I can be so prolific is the huge amount of planning I do before I start to write. I do a very complete, chapter-by-chapter outline of every book I write. When I sit down to write, I already know everything that's going to happen in the book. This means I've done all the important thinking, and I can relax and enjoy the writing. I could never write so many books if I didn't outline them first. — R.L. Stine

It's my job, too, to keep up with pop culture and what the kids are into 'cause you don't want to sound like an old man trying to write for kids. I spend a lot of my time spying on them. — R.L. Stine

I do like a lot of things that a lot of adults would scoff at. 'SpongeBob SquarePants,' 'Looney Tunes.' — R.L. Stine

If you want to be a writer, don't worry so much about writing. Read as much as you can. Read as many different writers as you can. Soak up the styles. — R.L. Stine

We should have a way of telling people they have bad breath without hurting their feelings. Well, I'm bored. Let's go brush our teeth. Or, I've got to make a phone call. Hold this gum in your mouth. — Brad Stine

Did you know that Halloween started because long ago people believed that one day a year at the end of the fall harvest, the spirits would return to walk the earth? On that day, people wore masks so the spirits wouldn't recognize them. — R.L. Stine

The kid moved, and Judith dropped her lunch tray on the table and took her seat. "Would you like to swap lunches?" she asked me. "Yours looks so much better than mine."
I was holding a mashed-up tunafish sand-wich. "This?" I asked, waving it. Half the tunafish fell out of the soggy bread.
"Yum!" Judith exclaimed. "Want my pizza, Sam? Here. Take it." She slid her tray in front of me. "You bring great lunches. I wish my mum packed lunches like yours."
I could see Cory staring at me , his eyes wide with disbelief.
I really couldn't believe it, either. All Judith wanted from the world was to be exactly like me! — R.L. Stine

I'm a total Disney freak. I want to live in Disney World. — R.L. Stine

You want to reclaim your country? You got to go back to the first men who started this country, the founding fathers and this is going to be shocking for the liberal professors out there that are indoctrinating our kids but the founding fathers believed in the Judeo-Christian god that believed we have life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness! You can pursuit it. If you don't get it, it's your fault! You messed up. Go back to work. Work harder. — Brad Stine

Tap-tap-tap is better than thump-thumpthump, Ivy said. — R.L. Stine

Who is more irrational, the guy who believes in a God he can't see, or a guy who's offended by a God he doesn't believe in? — Brad Stine

All the old school Young Adult novels inspired me. I grew up reading R.L. Stine, Christopher Pike, Richie Cusick, and so on. I loved how you never really knew who the 'bad guys' were in their works, and I wanted to capture that feeling with 'Don't Look Back.' — Jennifer Armentrout

I've lived in New York for 40 years. I came right after college. — R.L. Stine

Comedy, if it's done well, can reflect the mood of a nation. It can be a mirror to who we are, what we believe in, what we are like. — Brad Stine

There's a difference between maliciously offending somebody - on purpose - and somebody being offended by ... truth. If you're offended by the truth, that's your problem. I have no obligation to not offend you if I'm speaking the truth. The truth is supposed to offend you; that's how you know you don't got it. — Brad Stine

I drive a lot in the summertime, but after that, I don't drive if there's snow predicted for anywhere in 500 miles. — R.L. Stine

What was the truth about the camera? he wondered.
Does the camera show the future?
Or does it actually cause bad things to happen? — R.L. Stine

Normally, I spend a week on the outline and take two weeks to write the book. — R.L. Stine

You won't be going home tonight - or ever," Trevor whispered. "You've seen too much. — R.L. Stine

I haven't written a young-adult book in years. I'm also doing six 'Goosebumps' books a year now. — R.L. Stine

Well, I hate it when authors come into a school and they say to kids, 'Write from your heart, only write what you know, and write from your heart.' I hate that because it's useless. I've written over 300 books - not one was written from my heart. Not one. They were all written for an audience, they were all written to entertain a certain audience. — R.L. Stine

I don't hate cats ... as long as they stay on the freeway, where they belong. — Brad Stine

Squatting over it, I pulled it open. My clothes were neatly folded at the top. Robb hadn't stolen anything. — R.L. Stine

People always ask, 'How do you write so many books?' And I say, I work a lot. I work six or seven days a week. — R.L. Stine

When did banning anything, ever work? I mean, we banned liquor once in this country, oh, that worked like a charm, didn't it, folks? You couldn't find a drink in the roaring 20's, could ya? See that's the problem with the banning thing! I say why stop there, let's not ban guns, I know, let's ban crime! — Brad Stine

I think it's broken," Greg said, holding on to the camera. "The photos just don't come out right. It's hard to explain."
"Maybe it's not the photos. Maybe it's the photographer," Shari teased.
"Maybe I'll take a photo of you getting a knuckle sandwich," Greg threatened. He raised the camera to his eye and pointed it at her.
"Snap that, and I'll take a picture of you eating the camera," Shari threatened playfully. — R.L. Stine

Most fears are basic: fear of the dark, fear of going down in the basement, fear of weird sounds, fear that somebody is waiting for you in your closet. Those kinds of things stay with you no matter what age. — R.L. Stine

He's is a real dummy — R.L. Stine

I have a cheat-sheet for each one of my characters about their personality, the way they look, etc. So there is no possible way that I could have writer's block. — R.L. Stine

If the truth conflicts with my beliefs, I change my beliefs. — Brad Stine

Yes, that's the laptop I use to write all the Goosebumps books. I know it looks strange. That's because someone's lap is still attached. Don't touch it. I think it's contagious. — R.L. Stine

Market studies suggest space tourism-a rubbernecker's trip to earth orbit-is likely to draw 50,000 passengers a year if the ticket can be pushed below $25,000. That's what tens of thousands of people spend each year on competing trips, such as round-the-world cruises on luxury liners and adventure tours to Antarctica or Mount Everest. — G. Harry Stine

You have no control [over natural disaster]. That's what's scary about it. You're helpless. That feeling of helplessness is really scary. — R.L. Stine

I've never dreamed of a story idea. I have such boring dreams. — R.L. Stine

Even before the agricultural revolution began in the Fertile Crescent about 10,000 years ago, humans had learned how to work with new technology. Those who could not or would not eventually became priests, politicians, and bureaucrats. — G. Harry Stine

Grandpa Mo choked out. They ... they ... they are hungry. Very hungry. — R.L. Stine

I've made myself laugh from some ideas - but I've never scared myself. — R.L. Stine

I should be concentrating on writing pages. — R.L. Stine

People say, 'What advice do you have for people who want to be writers?' I say, they don't really need advice, they know they want to be writers, and they're gonna do it. Those people who know that they really want to do this and are cut out for it, they know it. — R.L. Stine

When I was a kid, there were these great comic books called 'Tales From The Crypt' and 'The Vault of Horror.' They were gruesome. I discovered them in the barbershop and thought they were fabulous. — R.L. Stine

It's about something that strikes you as funny but I do it with a Christian world view: why we think the way we do based on God's plan. I lift up my God and my country and I resist political correctness. — Brad Stine

I've killed hundreds of teenagers. Hundreds. And I didn't know why. Why did I enjoy doing it so much? Why? And then I realized - I had a teenager at home! — R.L. Stine

I guess I'm way too kind and generous, and a saint - if you can believe that! — R.L. Stine

He didn't like being the sensible one of the group. Everyone always made fun of the sensible one. He'd rather be the wild and crazy one. But, somehow, he always ended up sensible. — R.L. Stine

I was always a really big fan of R. L. Stine and the 'Goosebumps' T.V. series and the 'Goosebumps' books. — Dylan Minnette

Good dog,' she said, stoking his head. 'Good sweet dog.' That was one of the great things about dogs. They always loved you no matter what was going on. — R.L. Stine

The next day, Greg is so large that he cannot even ride the car to school because he can't fit in the car. His parents believe this to have been caused by a food allergy and resolve to take him to the doctor later. — R.L. Stine

You know what offends me? Offended people. In a country with guaranteed rights to freedom of religion, its citizens are constantly trying to make faith in public spheres illegal, I am offended by that contradiction and want to talk about it as a comic. — Brad Stine

These five teens are convinced it was not a prank. They all believe this is the beginning of the zombie apocalypse we hear so much about. But I'm not so sure I believe their story - not this close to Halloween."
The girl with the ponytail frowned at him. "I know what I saw," she said. "They are here! — R.L. Stine

When I write for kids, I have to make sure they know what can't happen. They have to know it's a fantasy. But when I write for adults, they have to think it's real. Every detail has to be real or they won't buy it. — R.L. Stine

Zeke and I struggled to get to the dressing room so we could get changed. But we were mobbed by people who wanted to congratulate us and tell us how talented and terrific we were. — R.L. Stine

Many adults feel that every children's book has to teach them something ... My theory is a children's book ... can be just for fun. — R.L. Stine

they should invent a car that stays cool inside when it is parked — R.L. Stine

If we all die and there is no God, then it's just eternal unconsciousness, you'll never know, but if you're wrong ... you'll know forever. — Brad Stine

I read everywhere. I read every day. I read on the couch with my dog in the afternoon and at night. I try to read at least two to three hours a day. I read only fiction. — R.L. Stine

Kids think you just sit down and start writing. I always tell them you never do that. — R.L. Stine

I have a great office. — R.L. Stine

If God is a crutch, then atheism is a coma. — Brad Stine

I always just wanted to be funny. I never really planned to be scary. — R.L. Stine

There were a story scripted on the wall, no words used though, just pictures, memories, from another world. Her happy place. — Stine Saugmann

Despite the loud booing from Shari and Greg, Bird managed to punch the ball past the shortstop for a single.
"Lucky hit!" Greg yelled, cupping his hands into a megaphone.
Bird pretended not to hear him. — R.L. Stine

I'm obsessed with radio. It's a good start to Sunday morning. — R.L. Stine

I love theme parks but I'm a real chicken on rides. I'd rather invent scary rides for my books than go on them for real. — R.L. Stine

The only lesson is, you gotta keep at it. — R.L. Stine

The wussification of America is killing us by teaching us to censor ourselves from what we believe. That's why I want to see political correctness die in my lifetime, but first ... I want to watch it suffer. — Brad Stine