Steve Martin Sergeant Bilko Quotes & Sayings

Furnished as all Europe now is with Academies of Science, with nice instruments and the spirit of experiment, the progress of human knowledge will be rapid and discoveries made of which we have at present no conception. I begin to be almost sorry I was born so soon, since I cannot have the happiness of knowing what will be known a hundred years hence. — Benjamin Franklin

The moment in Paris where I saluted Napoleon's tomb was one of the proudest of my life. — Adolf Hitler

I am not only a pacifist but a militant pacifist. I am willing to fight for peace. Nothing will end war unless the people themselves refuse to go to war. — Albert Einstein

It's not always easy to get over some of those bumps in the road, those disillusionments and disappointments. It's going to take a strong will. Sometimes, it may take courage. Sometimes nothing but faith in God and say, I refuse to be trapped in the past. I'm not going to let the past destroy my future. I'm pressing on. I'm straining forward, knowing that God has great things in store for me. — Joel Osteen

Those words had been the bane of my childhood, a constant reminder that nothing turned out right, not just for me but for anyone, and that's why someone had invented a saying like that. So we'd all know that we'd never have what we needed. — Gillian Flynn

Betrayals that make your soul scream so loud you wonder why no one else hears it. In the end, we are all alone in that private hell. But life isn't about learning to forgive those who have hurt you or forgetting the past. It's about learning to forgive yourself for being human and making mistakes. Yes, people disappoint us all the time. But the harshest lessons come when we disappoint ourselves. When we put our trust and our hearts into the hands of the wrong person and they do us wrong. And while we may hate them for what they did, the one we hate most is ourself for allowing them into our private circle. How could I have been so stupid? How could I let them deceive me? — Sherrilyn Kenyon

The network employs thousands of humans. Surely one of them must be a ... woman ... female ... I don't know what you call them ... vagina doctor."
Melanie laughed. "Vagina doctor?"
He smiled, relieved to have lightened her mood a bit. "I've had very little contact with doctors in my lifetime. You know what I mean."
"They're called OB/GYNs."
"Thank you. — Dianne Duvall

Women worry about the things that men forget; Men worry about the things that women remember. — Ziad K. Abdelnour

Patience is a complot of the Devil to immobilize the men! Mortal men should be impatient and impetuous; patience is only for the immortals! — Mehmet Murat Ildan

A tear wells in his eye. It wells and then spills down his cheek. And despite being pumped with booze and coke, I can read that one eye as clearly as a billboard for cigarettes. Only instead of saying Alive with Pleasure it says, I Have to Go Now. — Augusten Burroughs