Stephen Colbert Book Quotes & Sayings

When I read books it's to escape. It's so I don't have to talk to people. — Stephen Colbert

Pain is the body's way of telling the brain it's in trouble. Similarly, confusion is the brain's way of telling the body, 'All right, buddy, drop that book. — Stephen Colbert

Used books are the sluts of the literary world. Passed around from person to person, spreading their pages for anyone, getting cheaper and cheaper until eventually they end up in prison. — Stephen Colbert

And that brings us to tonight's word: Truthiness. Now I'm sure some of the word-police, the 'wordanistas' over at Websters, are gonna say, 'Hey, that's not a word!' Well, anybody who knows me knows that I am no fan of dictionaries or reference books. They're elitist. Constantly telling us what is or isn't true, what did or didn't happen. — Stephen Colbert

You don't look up truthiness in a book, you look it up in your gut. — Stephen Colbert

Think books aren't scary? Well, think about this: You can't spell "Book" without "Boo! — Stephen Colbert

You said in your book that at the end of the day, every politician is human. What about during the day? — Stephen Colbert

Just because I haven't put a lot of thought into this book doesn't mean you shouldn't. I warn you to read this book carefully. Savor my ideas. Memorize the pertinent passages. Eat with it, sleep with it, let nature take its course.
Because what I have dictated is nothing less than a Constitution for the Colbert Nation. And, like our Founding Fathers, I hold my Truths to be self-evident, which is why I did absolutely no research.
I didn't need to. The only research I needed was a long hard look in the mirror. — Stephen Colbert

The summer movies are coming out. My advice: just stay home and burn a good book. — Stephen Colbert

Now, for my younger viewers out there, a book is something we used to have before the internet. It's sort of a blog for people with attention spans. — Stephen Colbert

If there's a better book than this, I haven't written it. — Stephen Colbert

I've always been a big fan of beauty. Sure, you can't judge a book by its cover but who wants to have sex with a book? — Stephen Colbert

I am no fan of books. And chances are, if you're reading this, you and I share a healthy skepticism about the printed word. Well, I want you to know that this is the first book I've ever written, and I hope it's the first book you've ever read. Don't make a habit of it. — Stephen Colbert