Stephanie Plum Ranger Quotes & Sayings

Last time you called me late at night you were naked and chained to your shower curtain rod. I hope this isn't going to be disappointing. — Janet Evanovich

Excuse me?" I said, palms down on the Formica tabletop. "Coffee? I thought we came here for pie." "I don't eat the kind of pie they serve here." I felt a flash of heat go through my stomach. I knew firsthand the kind of pie Ranger liked. — Janet Evanovich

Lula had Eminem cranked up. He was rapping about trailer park girls and how they go round the outside, and I was wondering what the heck that meant. I'm a white girl from Trenton. I don't know these things. I need a rap
cheat sheet. — Janet Evanovich

Ten minutes passed before his (Ranger's) Mercedes appeared at the end of the street, gliding through the rain, sleek and sinister, water not daring to adhere to the paint finish. — Janet Evanovich

I pulled into the Grand Union parking lot and drove to the end of the mall where the bank was located. I parked at a safe distance from other cars, exited the BMW, and set the alarm.
You want me to stay with the car in case someone's riding around with a bomb in his backseat looking for a place to put it?" Lula asked.
Not necessary. Ranger says the car has sensors."
Ranger give you a car with bomb sensors? The head of the CIA don't even have a car with bomb sensors. I hear they give him a stick with a mirror on the end of it. — Janet Evanovich

The rain started a few minutes later, a fine mist at first, growing more steady as the miles flew by. The Mercedes hummed along, following the ribbon of road. The night enveloped us, the darkness broken only by the lights on the dash.
All the comforts of a womb with the technology of a jet airplane cockpit — Janet Evanovich

You've been busy using your breaking and entering skills," I said.
"I just enter. I don't usually break."
"You broke down Pitch's door."
"Lost my temper."
-Ranger and Stephanie — Janet Evanovich

Why do you give me cars?"
"It's fun," Ranger said."And it keeps you safe. Do you want to know why keeping you safe is important to me?"
"You love me?"
"Yes."
A sigh inadvertently escaped. "We're really screwed up, aren't we?"
"In a very large way," Ranger said. — Janet Evanovich

My grandmother is a little Cuban woman who cooks all day and speaks Spanish. Your grandmother watches pay-per-view porn."
"She used to watch the Weather Channel, but she said there wasn't enough action."
-Ranger and Stephanie — Janet Evanovich

Ranger was definitely wow. He stood half a head taller than me. He was perfectly toned muscle, and he had classic Latino good looks. He always smelled great. He dressed only in black. His eyes were dark. His hair was dark. His life was dark. Ranger had lots of secrets. — Janet Evanovich

You can relax. I am not here to collect on the deal"
I blinked. "You are not? Then why did you drop your gun belt?"
"I am tired. I wanted to sit and the belt is uncomfortable."
"Oh."
He smiled. "Disappointed?"
"No." Liar, liar, pants on fire. — Janet Evanovich

Ranger was grinning. "Somebody beat the shit out of this guy before he got shot."
"That would be me."I said.
"Babe,"Ranger said, the grin widening. — Janet Evanovich