Squarepants Quotes & Sayings

The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma. — Patrick Star

The first ads for medical marijuana have started airing on television in California. The ads are quite expensive. It costs a lot of money to buy 30 seconds during 'Spongebob Squarepants.' — Craig Ferguson

I don't have time for this I've got to go pick a fight with a muscular stranger. — Stephen Hillenburg

Obviously, I lied, Kiera!" he yelled back. "If you haven't noticed, I do that! And what does it matter anyway? She wanted me, you didn't. What do you care if I-"
"Because you're mine!" I yelled back at him, quite unintentionally. Of course, he wasn't actually mine ...
The immediate silence after that was deafening. Kellan's face paled and then slowly got very, very angry. "No, no I'm not! THAT'S THE WHOLE FUCKING POINT! — S.C. Stephens

All my wife does is shop - once she was sick for a week, and three stores went under. — Henny Youngman

and an even crazier morning, — Wimpy Squarepants

I watch a lot of cartoons. I watch a lot of "SpongeBob SquarePants" and "Phineas and Ferb." — Colin Kaepernick

Do you feel it now Mr. Krabbs? — SpongeBob SquarePants

Success is when your name is in everything but the telephone directory. — Sam Ewing

I went to America to get away from constantly being cast in costume dramas, playing posh people. — Dominic West

Human beings are not seamless smooth creations, they have insoluble parts, and the closer you look the more mysterious they become. — Niall Williams

People aren't overcome by situations or outside forces. Defeat comes from within. — Banana Yoshimoto

Janaka gave his daughters to the sons of Dashratha, saying, 'I give you Lakshmi, wealth, who will bring you pleasure and prosperity. Grant me Saraswati, wisdom. Let me learn the joy of letting go.' This ritual came to be known as kanya-daan, — Devdutt Pattanaik

When I am gone, release me, let me go. I have so many things to see and do, You mustn't tie yourself to me with too many tears, But be thankful we had so many good years. I gave you my love, and you can only guess How much you've given me in happiness. I thank you for the love that you have shown, But now it is time I travelled on alone. So grieve for me a while, if grieve you must, Then let your grief be comforted by trust. It is only for a while that we must part, So treasure the memories within your heart. — Robert Bryndza

How about that? You can hear NFL Films music on everything from 'SpongeBob SquarePants' to 'Deep Throat.' — Steve Sabol

Unfortunately most easily-digested entertainment has as much actual content as a Spongebob Squarepants episode, so the trick is to try to fit actual nourishing content into enjoyable entertainment. — Jeffrey Lewis

I mean, who cares about SpongeBob SquarePants? I'm sitting here with Wolverine!
-random kid talking to Ari — James Patterson

I'd rather watch SpongeBob with with Kimmy than talk to you. At least that stupid yellow sponge tries to make sense. — Lora Leigh

Yes I usually make my kids eat their veggie chops and watch my concerts in dead silence. If they ask to watch spongebob squarepants I usually do something volatile like make them eat a yellow sponge with googly eyes on it. I hit them quite a bit, but then again I blame the condom manufacturing government for forcing me to birth them. — Thom Yorke

You are normal, even if it was you in that video. Normal human beings do crazy shit sometimes. One time I let this guy dress up as SpongeBob SquarePants while we had sex. — Taylor Bell

'SpongeBob SquarePants' is a great show, and it centers on a character that is courageously nice. Why is SpongeBob interesting? It's because he has passion. He has a passion for chasing jellyfish. — Vince Gilligan

Don't look back. You are never completely alone. — Daniel Silva

Elves, pixies, gnomes- the Moomins, Chorlton and the Wheelies, SpongeBob SquarePants- they all tried to invade you at some point. — Jacqueline Rayner

in painted quiet and concentration — Wislawa Szymborska

Never be SARCASTIC. A clever remark might gain you a few laughs but the butt of your remarks will be offended and will remember you for it. — Gary L. Graybill

One may hide cruel. One may even hide a certain amount of madness. One can never hide stupidity. — Melissa Jensen

Abraham is the shared ancestor of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. He stands at the heart of these three faiths. And yet you know almost nothing about him. — Bruce Feiler

In case you haven't caught the commercials, I'm in the new SpongeBob SquarePants Movie. — David Hasselhoff

Matt Leinart's L.A. duplex looks more like a Chuck E. Cheese safe house than a millionaire jock's crash pad. There's the requisite leather couch and flat-screen television, but the rest of the ground floor is bare except for a pile of Nick Jr. DVDs, a high chair, and a SpongeBob SquarePants director's chair. — Stephen Rodrick

What, you didn't pack your lunch?" Ty asked sarcastically as he
shifted around in the seat and wedged himself against the door. He kicked a
foot up and propped it on the console between the two front seats.
"Sure, in my SpongeBob SquarePants lunch box. I have the thermos,
too," Morrison shot right back.
Zane kept his mouth shut, eyes moving between the two men, and
occasionally back to the driver, who was casually paying attention.
Ty stared at the kid and narrowed his eyes further. "Spongewhat?" he
asked flatly.
Zane didn't even try to hold back the chuckle when Morrison looked
at Ty like he'd lost his mind.
"Spongewha ... you're yanking my chain, aren't you?" Morrison
said. "Henny, he's yanking my chain."
"Yeah, well, that's what you getting for waving it in his face," the
driver answered reasonably.
"What the hell is a SpongeBob?" Ty asked Zane quietly in the
backseat. — Madeleine Urban

The boulevard was awash with the curious and the shocked as wave after wave of tourist crashed into the unmoving masses of families who had just witnessed a brawl between The Incredible Hulk and SpongeBob Squarepants over territory, boundaries and the age old issue of ownership. — David Louden

I do like a lot of things that a lot of adults would scoff at. 'SpongeBob SquarePants,' 'Looney Tunes.' — R.L. Stine

In a country where miracles are been emphasized, people lose their sense of priority. — Sunday Adelaja

Nowadays, ads don't just sell a product. They sell an attitude! Look at this one! Here's a cool guy saying nobody tells him what to do. He does whatever he wants and he buys this product as a reflection of that independence. So basically, this maverick is urging everyone to express his individuality through conformity in brand-name selection? — Bill Watterson

[Reverend James] Dobson says that the [Spongebob Squarepants] video would be watched by millions of elementary school students and includes a reference to being 'tolerant of differences.' The nerve! Who does Spongebob think he is? Jesus Christ? Tolerance will not be, uh, tolerated. Oh, and tolerance is quite possibly closesly connected to gay-ance. — Celia Rivenbark

In fact, gone are the days of having sex at all. I have resorted to jerking off alone in the bathroom after my wife's asleep. It's a sad, lonely existence when you have to take your cell phone into the shitter so you don't wake your wife when you pull up the YouPorn app and crank one out. The worst part is the SpongeBob SquarePants shower curtain in the bathroom. Do you know how difficult it is to keep an erection while SpongeBob is staring at you with his big, googly eyes and you keep hearing the song "Jellyfishin', Jellyfishin', Jellyfishin" in your head? — Tara Sivec