Spring Funny Quotes & Sayings

It is both auspicious and peaceful for people to choose vegetarinism. — Albert Einstein

A lot of people over time have had this kind of pattern in their relationship with Bill Clinton. You first meet him and you're overwhelmed by his talent. He's so energetic and articulate and full of ideas and he calls himself a congenital optimist and that optimism is contagious. — Dee Dee Myers

Dorothy's coming up. I think she's tight."
"That's great." I picked up my bathrobe. "I was afraid I was going to have to get some sleep."
She was bending over looking for her slippers. "Don't be such an old fluff. You can sleep all day." She found her slippers and stood up in them. "Is she really as afraid of her mother as she says?"
"If she's got any sense. Mimi's poison."
Nora screwed up her dark eyes at me and asked slowly: "What are you holding out on me?"
"Oh, dear," I said, " I was hoping I wouldn't have to tell you. Dorothy is really my daughter. I didn't know what I was doing, Nora. It was spring in Venice and I was so young and there was a moon over the ... "
"Be funny. Don't you want something to eat? — Dashiell Hammett

My wife was saying to me just the other day how she's noticed a spring in my step lately. That was because I thought you were gone forever.'
'I missed you too, Thurid. — Derek Landy

Neruda had his first dream,
First meeting with the Moon and the Sun
In sunny La Mancha, hiding in his heart,
Where he learned how to sing like a nightingale. — Dejan Stojanovic

In high school, when you're a top player, there are ways of getting eligible, ways of getting out of going to class. It made going to the next level, which is college, that much harder. — Chad Ochocinco

All kinds of violence on the TV. You're not supposed to watch violence on the TV. Children, they can't watch it 'cause they're afraid maybe the kids will copy something they see on the TV. I can't even get a funny cartoon anymore because some 12-year-old somewhere watched a particularly violent episode of the Road Runner-Coyote show, and the next day, they found him at the bottom of a canyon, two giant springs strapped to his feet. — Norm MacDonald

Funny weather today,' said the ferryman, bending slowly to his oars. 'In the morning you wake up to such a mist that you can't see two fathoms distance. And then about ten o'clock out comes the sun. One says to oneself "Here's spring on the way". And no sooner said than hailstorms set in for the afternoon. And now the wind's getting up, and there's going to be quite a blow, that's certain. Funny weather. — Maurice Druon

Their lives revolved around evil acts; some within their control, and some not. Some of them weren't born with the capacity for kindness, and others found it better to spare no compassion for anyone in this cruel world because they felt none would be given to them. Fate deals a bad hand to some folks. Some people are just doomed to be no good. — Ramsey Isler

Yo, beautiful. Come pop this collar off me."
Natalya hissed, "Are you mad?"
"What's she gonna do? Vivisect me? Imprison me? We've got a pact to fulfill,remember?"
To Dorada, she cried, "Seriously, sweetheart, shake that mummified ass over here."
Regin kicked the glass. "Lemme the fuck out - "
La Dorada swung her head around,peering at Regin with her one eye.
"Okay. That's freaky. Lookit, Gollum, if you spring me, I'll help you find your Precious. — Kresley Cole

Some teams have a nucleus to build around. The Falcons barely have an embryo. So if you see suspicious looking wires running from the locker room to Dimitroff's office, and the general manager pushes down on the plunger as early as today, don't feel the need to cover your eyes. You've already seen the worst. — Jeff Schultz

Reality + Dreams + Humor = Wisdom So — Lin Yutang

I felt him move and turned my head to deflect his kiss so that it landed on the side of my jaw instead of my mouth. It shimmered there briefly like some iridescent, impossible butterfly. — Alexis Hall

Sudenly Garge spring up and walk to the wall to admire some modarn art hanging on Frank and Estele Catandas wall. Hes impressed. Frank and Estele have always had a traditienel sensibility when it come to aesthetic matter's. For as long as he knew it, this space on the wall was ocupied by a Normen Rockwell print of a smileing child with a cast on his arm eating a handful of bird seed out of the hand of the postman. But now its replace with this minimelist art work, a large black rectangle. He make out hes bald reflectien in the imposibly smooth black surfece. It look like something that should be hang in the Moma (Museum Of Modarn Art).
"This is beauteful," Garge remark. "It seem like a stark comentary on the end of art. Who designe this?"
"Not art," Frank go. "Thats a televisien. — Seinfeld 2000

What's that? You've never heard of the freshman thirty-five? That's funny, because neither had my parents, who welcomed me home on spring vacation with mild horror. I was a vaguely familiar food monster who had eaten their daughter. — Mindy Kaling

Only the forward-looking Christian remains sincerely optimistic and joyful, knowing that Christ will win in the end. — Billy Graham

Satan impregnated my mother one lovely spring morning. We didn't have the heart to tell my father. — Holly Hood

The weather wouldn't settle down. It would rain cats and dogs, then stop, then drip awhile, then stop while it made up its mind what to do next. — Glendon Swarthout

It's a funny thing about bogs. You can fill them with rocks and sand and old logs and make a little fenced-in yard on top with a woodpile and chopping block - but bogs go right on behaving like bogs. Early in the spring they breathe ice and make their own mist, in remembrance of the time when they had black water and their own sedge blossoming untouched. — Tove Jansson

I've knitted myself a hat, it's plum red with an appealing lace pattern, I figured that a few air holes would be nice now that it's spring. I put it on and feel like a cranberry in the snow, and I wonder if they can see me from the moon. Me and the Great Wall. — Kjersti Annesdatter Skomsvold

The clocks are all turned forward from Funny Time to Right Time. I always remember, Spring back or Fall in. — Dave Beard

I'd like to sing you a song now about my old girlfriend. It's called "They'll Find Her When the Leaves Blow Away 'Cause I'm Not Raking 'Til Spring." — Steven Wright

In the process of terrorizing an article on spring training, Butch glanced over at Marissa again, and V
knew the two were going to take off soon - but not because they were finished with their coffee.
Funny, he knew what was going to happen from extrapolation, not second sight or because he could read their minds: Butch was letting off the bonding scent, and Marissa loved being with her male — J.R. Ward

It must seem like the world is ending, but wait and see what God will do. He must have something wonderful in mind. — Rachel Hauck

If I had the opportunity to buy the latest movie that's out that month and watch it on the comfort of my big screen TV, I would pay for that. — Dana Brunetti

You won't forget me, Peter, will you, before spring-cleaning time comes?
Of course Peter promised, and then he flew away. He took Mrs. Darling's kiss with him. The kiss that had been for no one else Peter took quite easily. Funny. But she seemd satisfied. — J.M. Barrie

There's a mix of longing and sadness in his eyes, but he's not letting me get any closer. Seeing that brings me back to myself. Back to the here and now. The invasion. My mom. My sister. The massacres. They all come rushing back. He's right. We're at war. On the verge of an apocalypse filled with monsters and torture in a nightmare world. And I'm standing here, a moonstruck teenager pining for an enemy soldier. What am I, crazy? — Susan Ee

This is the power available to us! The same power that raised Jesus from the dead. It may not feel like we have this power, but we do. And each time we proclaim, "I am made for more," I pray all the power-packed truths within that statement rush into our hearts and keep us enlightened. — Lysa TerKeurst

In the Western tradition, we have focused on teaching as a skill and forgotten what Socrates knew: teaching is a gift, learning is a skill. — Peter Drucker

Soun Tendo: Drowned Octopus Spring?
Guide from Jusenkyo: Is tragic tale of giant octopus who drown 1600 year ago ... somehow. — Rumiko Takahashi

It's not Spring Break until somebody dies! — Daniel Tosh

I want to have the fairy-tale life with a wife and three or four kids. It will come. — Cris Judd

It had been in a Paris house, with many people around, and my dear friend Jules Darboux, wishing to do me a refined aesthetic favor, had touched my sleeve and said, "I want you to meet-" and led me to Nina, who sat in the corner of a couch, her body folded Z-wise, with an ashtray at her heel, and she took a long turquoise cigarette holder from her lips and joyfully, slowly exclaimed, "Well, of all people-" and then all evening my heart felt like breaking, as I passed from group to group with a sticky glass in my fist, now and then looking at her from a distance (she did not look ... ), and listening to scraps of conversation, and overheard one man saying to another, "Funny, how they all smell alike, burnt leaf through whatever perfume they use, those angular dark-haired girls," and as it often happens, a trivial remark related to some unknown topic coiled and clung to one's own intimate recollection, a parasite of its sadness. — Vladimir Nabokov