Sport Funny Quotes & Sayings

After painting comes Sculpture, a very noble art, but one that does not in the execution require the same supreme ingenuity as the art of painting, since in two most important and difficult particulars, in foreshortening and in light and shade, for which the painter has to invent a process, sculpture is helped by nature. Moreover, Sculpture does not imitate color which the painter takes pains to attune so that the shadows accompany the lights. — Leonardo Da Vinci

Racquetball is the only sport where simultaneously you can be looking at the ball and it'll hit you in the back of the head at 90 miles per hour. — Brian Regan

When we hold a World Championship for a particular sport, we invite teams from other countries to play as well. — John Cleese

I can't believe I've missed this sport. It's all about fingering holes and caressing balls. — K.A. Mitchell

I've always been obsessed with style and glamor and if I want anyone to get anything out of my book, it's how we can all have them in our lives. — Rachel Zoe

I've actually tried to roast somebody that I don't like, and it doesn't go well. Either they're a bad sport or I'm not as funny as I could be. — Jeff Ross

One's 'thing'
(1) A point of personal interest; a hobby, sport, or avocation that succinctly defines a person. (2) A brief coupling of words used to evoke someone's personality in a small-talk setting: Billy's thing used to be soccer; now it's masterbation. (3) A laconic summation of one's character and interests used for the purpose of categorization and judgement. See also 'What do you do? — Joshua Braff

Skiing is my favorite sport, because, that's the only sport that is actually better to watch the worst the person is at it. "That guy won a gold medal in the Olympics" "Oh yeah, that's cool, i wanna watch the fat guy" "Come on dude, you can take that hill" — Demetri Martin

Am I a trance medium? No. Have I got a gift psychically? Absolutely not. But I believe in the survival of consciousness after death. — Dan Aykroyd

Fencing is a funny sport. Competitive fencing is not really very applicable to the stage world unless you're fighting with a rapier during the Renaissance, you know? — Kris Holden-Ried

He seemed to have lost the power of intellectual effort, now that the stimulus of pain had been removed. He was not bored, he had no desire for conversation or distraction. Merely to be alone, not to be beaten or questioned, to have enough to eat, and to be clean all over, was completely satisfying.

By degrees he came to spend less time in sleep, but he still felt no impulse to get off the bed. — George Orwell

Extreme emotions could be lethal. If I can't have you nobody will, and so forth. Death could set in. — Margaret Atwood

The older I get, the more and more I notice I'm like my father. It's funny, because when I was younger I tried to just back away from my father as much as I could, and some of the philosophies, some of the life lessons, some of the beliefs that he had within me are always constantly ongoing, and they're always prevalent in my life, whether it's trying to be every single thing that I can be in my sport or life or relationship or business, whatever avenue I'm pursuing. — Apolo Ohno

I stand by all the misstatements that I've made. — Dan Quayle

As a young man, I used to sport a rather ragged beard [ ... ]; it doesn't suit and in its untended state I can often come to look like a set of sensory organs lost in a raspberry bush. — Claire North

Though there are some disagreeable things in Venice there is nothing so disagreeable as the visitors. — Henry James

I love Cheetos, those hot, spicy kind. And chocolate. Every time I'm in the airport I'm buying Cheetos and eating them on the airplane. — Alessandra Ambrosio

It's said that sport is the civilised society's substitute for war, and also that the games we play as children are designed to prepare us for the realities of adult life. Certainly it's true that my brother thrived in the capitalist kindergarten of the Monopoly board, developing a set of ruthless strategies whose success is reflected in his bank balance even to this day. I, on the other hand, can still be undone by the kind of ridiculous sentimentality that would see me sacrifice anything, anything, in order to have the three matching red-headed cards of Fleet Street, Trafalgar Square and The Strand sitting tidily together on my side of the board. — Danielle Wood

Things have been invented because of alcohol. Like the taser, okay? Yeah! The morning after pill, okay? The reach-around. Judge Judy. What has pot given the world? Hackey sack? YEAH! Hilarious ring tones? OH GAH! Ultimate Frisbee Championships? It sucks to be a champion at a sport that can't get you laid. It's an unneeded skill like, I dunno, being the best banjo player. Or a squirter. — Dave Attell

Sport is the only profession I know of that when you retire you have to go to work. — Earl Monroe

I was foreign and Jewish, with a funny name, and was very small and hated sport, a real problem at an English prep school. So the way to get round it was to become the school joker, which I did quite effectively - I was always fooling around to make the people who would otherwise dump me in the loo laugh. — Alain De Botton

If the accident of genes has put you in a place where you can be a role model, then be somebody! — Lauren Hutton

It is very funny to listen to the lady renters (of any sex): having played the sport, having bashed the horse on its sore spine with their fat bottoms and dragged it with all their might by the mouth with the "iron," and finally having dismounted - they, for some reason, resort to baby talk, absolutely convinced of the horse's love for them. — Alexander Nevzorov

The person who proclaimed me Best Dressed Man never saw me in my sport outfit. — Robert Pattinson

The thing that impressed itself most on me in Holland was the thoroughness of the agriculture and the excellence of the Holstein cattle. I — Booker T. Washington

Killing animals for sport, for pleasure, for adventure, and for hides and furs is a phenomena which is at once disgusting and distressing. There is no justification in indulging is such acts of brutality. — Dalai Lama

Tennis is a funny game, and it takes a life-time of keeping one's eyes open on the circuit to have any chance of understanding the strange phenomena that exist in our exciting sport! — Sania Mirza

Even Nature is observed to have her playful moods or aspects, of which man sometimes seems to be the sport. — Henry David Thoreau

Knox Masters is exactly the type of guy I want to date. He dominates a sport I love. He's confident but not arrogant. He's funny, able to laugh at himself, and ... shit, hot as the fires of Mordor. I mean, the One Ring could be forged in his hotness.
I want him. — Jen Frederick

Football is not a contact sport. Its a collision sport — Duffy Daugherty

For something to be beautiful it doesn't have to be pretty. — Rei Kawakubo