Spoof Bible Quotes & Sayings

Freedom is dangerous. Possibly crawling on all fours might be safer than standing upright, but we like the view better up there. — Isabel Paterson

I hate Breeds," she muttered. "Do you know that? You and your sharp, damned noses. Just because I want to doesn't mean I should. Hell, I want cheesecake but I know better. It goes right to my hips. Does that mean I have to eat it anyway?"
He stared back at her in disbelief. "You're comparing me to cheesecake?" Offended male fury and outrage glittered in his eyes.
She huffed, "Well, the same principle applies. — Lora Leigh

Family,"_ _ _"They're the people in your life you don't get
to pick. The ones that are given to you, as opposed to those you get to
choose. — Sarah Dessen

When I meet a woman, I don't think, 'Gee, I wonder if she's read the latest thesis by Stephen Hawking? I think, 'Great tits.' — Gene Simmons

When I was 25, I was in a show called 'Bajour,' and I was going to leave the show because I couldn't breathe. I couldn't sing, and I couldn't do the basic dance steps I had to do. Fortunately, two actors in the production - who were also yoga instructors - taught me some breathing exercises, and my asthma was cured that day. — Paul Sorvino

Live with your century, but do not be its creature. — Friedrich Schiller