Split Pants Quotes & Sayings

The one-legged creature is envious of the millipede; the millipede is envious of the snake; the snake is envious of the wind; the wind is envious of the eye; the eye is envious of the heart. — Zhuangzi

I did not recognise the man at the door and, in split-second time, I pointed the barrel of the fearsome looking weapon to the downstairs living room window, blew that out and then levelled it at the bedroom window above, and blew that out. The owner of the property literally shit his pants and slammed the door. — Stephen Richards

I'm really clumsy, so I trip and fall a lot. And every time I perform in New York my pants split onstage. That's happened four or five times. Every time, I pull on my mom's jeans as fast as I can, so there we are, standing backstage without our pants on. It's like a curse. — Jessica Simpson

Mommy, how come Dona Duck don have no pants?" Will sat on the couch eating cookies. Bree looked up. Then she glanced at the Donald Duck cartoon on the TV. "He have top but he no have bottoms,"
"Good point," she said. And yet the duck always wore a towel after he showered.
"Dat's odd," Will remarked. He leaned over his plate and began to split his cookies into two piles. "And where his pee pee go? He a boy right, mommy? But he don' have no pee pee. How he go to bafroom? — E. Jamie

Drawn lids one screen of skin, dreampaintings move across Day's colored dark. Tonight, in a lapse unfluttered by time, he travels what seems to be back. Shrinking, smoother, loses his belly and faint acne scars. Bird-boned gangle; bowl haircut and cup-handle ears; skin sucks hair, nose recedes into face; he swaddles in his pants and then curls, pink and mute and smaller until he feels himself split into something that wriggles and something that spins. Nothing stretches tight across everything else. A black point rotates. The point breaks open, jagged. His soul sails toward one color. — David Foster Wallace

I got dumped at Taco Bill's today; fell down, split my pants, and generally humiliated myself in front of a complete stranger; went to dinner at a snooty restaurant, found out said stranger is my future step brother; got called a stripper, hooker, and virgin by my mother ... did I leave anything out? — Nicole Christie

Love is down to earth and it reaches to the highest star; it is the valey of humility and the mopuntaintop of ecstasy. — Wilferd Peterson

Your life is nothing, just a little makeshift that you play with for a while, a machine that you put to use. And if something cracks it, then it's cracked, that's all. — Howard Fast

There's no need to measure the happiness of a life by its longevity. — Cate Culpepper

My partner and I won the race, and I threw my hat into the air and bent to pick it up. Everyone started laughin' because I had split the back end of my pants out, and I wasn't wearing shorts. — Chris LeDoux

I really owe everything to my parents and their devotion and drive to see to it that their children had the education which led to the opportunities that they never were able to have. — George J. Mitchell

Look, I want to say,
The worst thing you can imagine has already
Zipped up its coat and is heading back
Up the road to wherever it came from. — Tracy K. Smith

Ignorance lies not in the things you don't know, but in the things you know that ain't so. — Will Rogers