Spike Milligan Funny Quotes & Sayings

When I grew older and went my own way, MMA kind of stuck with me. I got to the point where I wanted to make something of it. I always thought fighting was fun, so I joined a gym and took it serious. I never actually thought I would be a real fighter, though. But I began to excel on the local circuit and I did well for myself. — Brad Tavares

Dinner was meat - not hunks of meat, as in Australia, but pathetic scraps of meat, as in Britain - which the girls upstairs transformed into edible dishes by heating it in secret ways and adding bits of stuff to it. — Clive James

I like to customize things. I customized the back of old Lincoln to be my mobile office. I had one of those little laptop desks like in a police car, and I had a cooler in there, so that was my mobile office. — Matthew McConaughey

It was a strange room, the door hanging off its hinges, and yet a telephone. But its last occupant was a harlot, long past her best, which had been scarlet. — Samuel Beckett

I want to retain my own identity. Therefore the thing I'm most anxious to avoid is any kind of work that can be considered 'interesting' in its own right. I want something that can't possibly touch me. I want some big, swollen corporation that's been bumbling along making money in its sleep for a hundred years, where they have to hire eight guys for every one job because none of them can be expected to care about whatever boring thing it is that they are supposed to be doing. I want to go into that kind of place and say, Look. You can have my body and my nice college-boy smile for so many hours a day, in exchange for so many dollars, and beyond that we'll leave each other strictly alone. — Richard Yates

I can speak Esperanto like a native. — Spike Milligan

Professor Milligan will now play his tree! The composition is in A Minor, the tree is in A garden. — Spike Milligan

Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse. — Spike Milligan

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven. — Spike Milligan