Spellman Quotes & Sayings

I dreamed of being special then awoke to be unique. — Brian Spellman

I'm all groan up in America. — Brian Spellman

There's an ad for every vice. That's advice. — Brian Spellman

He who laughs last laughs ... doesn't get it. — Brian Spellman

An apple a day feeds the tapeworm to stay. — Brian Spellman

People always switched on turn me off. — Brian Spellman

David Spellman was born perfect. Eight pounds even, with a full head of hair and unblemished skin, he cried for a brief moment right after his birth (to let the doctor know he was breathing), then stopped abruptly, probably out of politeness. — Lisa Lutz

I finally decided what I want to be when I grow up - late. — Brian Spellman

That's art. Nothing is for everybody. — Brian Spellman

Self talk and self prayer: When you audible the first and correctly interpret, the white coats correct you in a nuthouse. When you audible the second and misinterpret, the dinner coats swear you to an oath in the White House. Does this make you nuts too? Then outfit your sanity seeking political asylum at my house. — Brian Spellman

You know what they say. They? — Brian Spellman

The glass is three fifths full of gas. — Brian Spellman

Talking to yourself is okay. Answering back is risky. — Brian Spellman

Nice days are more unsafe. There are more of them. — Brian Spellman

Life is short unless agony is long. — Brian Spellman

His sense of humor is purely cheap vaudeville, yet everyone falls for it. — Lisa Lutz

All of my cartoons are better than each other. — Brian Spellman

Spare the rod and spoil the Memorial Day rotisserie. — Brian Spellman

If people really grew up, there would be no crime, no divorce, no Civil War reenactors ... it's not like you think it will be, that one day you'll wake up and realize that you've got things figured out. You never figure it out. Ever. - Isabel Spellman attempting to explain growing up to her sister Rae — Lisa Lutz

Peace ain't worth fighting for. — Brian Spellman

If you see me standing on my head, I'm trying to cheer you up with my frown. I need my honesty, you my pleasantry. — Brian Spellman

As one mouth closes, another always opens. — Brian Spellman

If you only go around once in life, then why has that one gone around more than once? — Brian Spellman

The late bird gets the fish that got the worm. — Brian Spellman

I can't prove it yet know it when I seem it. — Brian Spellman

On the plus side, life doesn't add up. — Brian Spellman

I was accused of always acting superior. Always means being, not acting. — Brian Spellman

While he bore no real resemblance to anyone in my family, his features were a collection of my mother's and father's best attributes, with a few of Gregory Peck's thrown in. — Lisa Lutz

Ignorance is bliss. Wisdom is blisters. — Brian Spellman

I awoke to a daymare. Life. — Brian Spellman

When to others it's not lying. It's privacy. — Brian Spellman

Babies are never suicidal. Hard lives, not hard boiled eggs do that. — Brian Spellman

Swallowed my pride and shit lions. — Brian Spellman

It's a free country." Inmates once bought this. That's why they're inmates. — Brian Spellman

Suicide solves midlife crises. — Brian Spellman

Dreams don't come true, they are true. — Brian Spellman

We Americans want peace, and it is now evident that we must be prepared to demand it. For other peoples have wanted peace, and the peace they received was the peace of death. — Francis Spellman

The zoo lost its elephant again. It never forgets where to go. I found it in the middle of my room. — Brian Spellman

First, let me finish. Then interrupt. — Brian Spellman

The shot glass is half drunk. — Brian Spellman

Never leave to be on time to be on time. — Brian Spellman

Eighty percent of showing up for life is ninety percent exaggerated. — Brian Spellman

A good night's sleep counts healthy sheep. — Brian Spellman

Mom lied. The crust is the shittiest part. — Brian Spellman

I can't name just one example. Then there's only one. — Brian Spellman

Wait now or wait, wait later. — Brian Spellman

I hate feeling hate but feeling nothing feels worse. — Brian Spellman

Allow me to contradict my clarifications and in no time we'll get to the bottom of nothing. — Brian Spellman

They safely cured the world of sadness, wiser the Pfizer for it? — Brian Spellman

Always go with your first impetuosity. — Brian Spellman

My son, I don't believe in God, prayer, afterlife or miracles. You may disagree with me on all of these. I'd prefer that you agree and reserve rebellion and independence over important issues instead. — Brian Spellman

Ultimate meaning is meaningless. Meaning meaning means everything else. — Brian Spellman

A bind is when you're quadriplegic, suicidal about that and unable to persuade your best friend to murder you. — Brian Spellman

All porn stars on Animal Farm are equal but some porn scenes are more unequal than others. — Brian Spellman

Billions of years before twelve step groups, God committed shotgun suicide. Today wall scrapings share His gratitude stories. — Brian Spellman

Holiday and Holy Day, Christmas is more than a yule log, holly or tree. It is more than natural good cheer and the giving of gifts. Christmas is even more than the feast of the home and of children, the feast of love and friendship. It is more than all of these together. Christmas is Christ, the Christ of justice and charity, of freedom and peace. — Francis Spellman

This war in Vietnam is, I believe, a war for civilization. Certainly it is not a war of our seeking. It is a war thrust upon us and we cannot yield to tyranny. — Francis Spellman

When all seems hopeless, cross your fingers and stick with the secular prayer. — Brian Spellman

There is a meaning of life but I've been sworn to secrecy. — Brian Spellman

You've heard of the three ages of man - youth, age, and you are looking wonderful. — Francis Spellman

If at first you don't concede, try, try a gun. — Brian Spellman

It's no longer time to take sides for or against race, rather sides against those who still do. — Brian Spellman

My psychiatrist diagnosed me a Hypochondriac. I said, "Okay, can you prescribe me a placebo?"

"Not for Type-2 Hypochondriacs," he said. Your types would just fake faking. Then we'd have a real problem. — Brian Spellman

Paradoxes only stump sane people. Nuts have irrational on our side. — Brian Spellman

With good morality first candidates you'll get bad candor, bad ethics, bad loyalty and bad morality - lastly bad odor will surface to save the day if you maintain good optimism like I do. — Brian Spellman

I forgot what I was going to think. — Brian Spellman

Nostalgia was never what it used to be. — Brian Spellman

I assume therefore I think I think yet still don't know a goddamn thing. — Brian Spellman

I think I think too much too. — Brian Spellman

I love objectivity when mine. — Brian Spellman

The glass is completely full...of shit. — Brian Spellman

We the unwilling, led by the unqualified, will perform the unbelievable for the ungrateful — Cathy Cash Spellman

Don't hold grudges. Life's too long. — Brian Spellman

Most leave to be on time, thus always late. — Brian Spellman

Psychiatrists urge me to take my tranquilizers. When I don't they become agitated. I take their pills to calm them down. — Brian Spellman

I've been a novelist since 1995 and have had novels in and out of option, and watching that process just made me realize that I have to live by what I teach my students, because I teach screenwriting at Spellman. — Tananarive Due

Of course I had to talk to myself. I had no prayer God. I had no prayer doG. Why not reverse bark and froth and recite verse? — Brian Spellman

Okay, you won our shitty little argument. Pass the world. — Brian Spellman

My life is so bad that it's worse than it really is. — Brian Spellman

Fear of curiosity kills the cat ... slowly. — Brian Spellman

The early worm gets bird shit. — Brian Spellman

Pray as if everything depended on God, and work as if everything depended upon man. — Francis Spellman

I've been coerced into free will. — Brian Spellman

Never speak ill of the dead, insult his kin instead. — Brian Spellman

If life was fair ... one third of the people would comprise of judges and lawyers ... one third of police and prison officials ... and one third of legislators ... and one third more to make the other three thirds make any sense at all .... Thank goodness for no fair. — Brian Spellman

The pill for Insurance Deficit Disorder - aspirin. — Brian Spellman

A CEO is known by the company he reaps. — Brian Spellman

Too many crooks spoil the Roth. — Brian Spellman

Science seeks the right answer, humor the right wrong answer. — Brian Spellman

To Americans, either/or means both. — Brian Spellman

You can't have your cake and eat it too. Let them eat croissants. — Brian Spellman

Feed a squirrel and he'll leave you alone every day. — Brian Spellman

They're good but not all as good as each other. — Brian Spellman

Our atheist thoughts go out to his family following their loss. — Brian Spellman

Don't stay in this now. You'll fall behind. — Brian Spellman

Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear so don't look and they'll stay farther away than you expect they would. — Brian Spellman

A woman drove me to drink. I don't drink and drive. — Brian Spellman

Every swamp has a silted lining. — Brian Spellman

Where have you been all of your life? — Brian Spellman

My abs are normal - McAmerican. — Brian Spellman