Spamming Funny Quotes & Sayings

The paparazzi do what they do, man. They have a job, too. — Tracy Morgan

The gloomy theology of the orthodox
the Calvinists
I do not, I cannot believe. Many of the notions
nay, most of the notions
which orthodox people have of the divinity of the Bible, I disbelieve. I am so nearly infidel in all my views, that too, in spite of my wishes, that none but the most liberal doctrines can command my assent. — Rutherford B. Hayes

We played for peanuts. But we did what we wanted to do, we heard what we wanted to hear, we performed what we wanted to perform, we learned what we wanted to learn. — Steve Lacy

Life is meant to be shared. With family, with friends, with someone you love. — Kay Correll

You don't do what's right because you know it will work out. You do it because you know it's right. — Jim C. Hines

When will society, like a mother, take care of all her children? — Horace Mann

We must move away from our dependency on fossil fuels, and I am glad that GM has invested over $1 billion in hydrogen fuel cells cars to meet this goal. — Albert Wynn

Recent events in the Middle East and North Africa clearly show just how dangerous the world is, and how great the challenges facing the intelligence community are going to be in the future as threats to U.S. national security continuously evolve. The U.S. intelligence community did not foresee the sudden collapse of the pro-U.S. regimes in Egypt and Tunisia, the eruption of a civil war in Libya, and the escalating wave of street protests across the Middle East. Then again, no one else in the U.S. government or among our allies abroad did either. — Matthew M. Aid

But here's my point to the LA Times. If you had a serious story to run, if you thought there was serious misconduct, you don't wait until the Thursday before the Tuesday. You run it early. — Susan Estrich

Empowerment means that people have the freedom to act. It also means that they are accountable for results. — Kenneth H. Blanchard

Look, you have been told everything. Lift up your eyes and look at the cloud and the light within it and the stars surrounding it. And the star that leads the way is your star. So Judas lifted up his eyes and saw the luminous cloud, and he entered it. — Rodolphe Kasser

Gold is the kindest of all hosts when it shines in the sky, but comes as an evil guest to those who receive it in the hand. — Gene Wolfe

Even when we're blindfolded, even when you're wearing sunglasses, even in the pitch black of night, we can always tell if you just ogled another woman. — Maria Bartiromo

Dear girl, it will be a very long road if you spend more time looking backwards than forward. — Soman Chainani

Claire was going to hate me. Our son was sucked into the pits of hell while I was watching General Hospital. God damn you Brenda and Sonny for making me lose focus. — Tara Sivec