Social Media Humor Quotes & Sayings

That's why I'm not on social media. People are way too open about their private lives. I don't need to see pictures of what somebody had for lunch or hear about how difficult their last bowel movement was or see on a map where they were when either one happened. — Janet Evanovich

He said, "If God lived on Earth people would stalk his Facebook page and leave nasty comments on his Pinterest site." Then it sunk in- timing was everything and social media was the devil. — Shannon L. Alder

Social Networking Reality Check: After you've met, reunited, scheduled, confirmed, celebrated and reminisced, re-boot and remind yourself that your closest friends are probably not even on FaceBook. Life's most intimate personal details, insecurities, conflicts and "drama" should not play out on a public website. Your discretion, dignity and self respect should not log off when you log on. — Carlos Wallace

All the English speakers, or almost all, have difficulties with the gender of words. — Bernard Pivot

These days. Most of us have the attention span of a meth-addicted squirrel. — Kristen Lamb

To think ill of mankind and not wish ill to them, is perhaps the highest wisdom and virtue. — William Hazlitt

Want to enjoy an restful day? Wake up, turn your phone on, meditate, look at the sky - then toss your phone into the bushes. — Waylon H. Lewis

The late Christopher Hitchens had the professional contrarian's fixation on attacking sacred cows, and rather soon after his cancer diagnosis, he became one himself. — Alex Pareene

I need to be free, to speak the unspeakable. You can't do that in office. — Mo Ibrahim

I never lecture, not because I am shy or a bad speaker, but simply because I detest the sort of people who go to lectures and don't want to meet them. — H.L. Mencken

Peg and I are in the trenches of social media, not in a "war room" back at headquarters. We acquired our knowledge though experimentation and diligence, not pontification, sophistry, and conference attendance. — Guy Kawasaki

The more passionate and argumentative I get the more followers and friends I make online. — Tasha Turner

We are all different and we all have a different sense of humor. — John Patrick Hickey

We have gotten so use to humor being something nasty and offensive that we started to believe that was the only way to get a laugh. — John Patrick Hickey

We are the generation of Social Media, Our biggest Revolution is a Tweet of 141 Characters. — Sandra Chami Kassis

Fools live life; intellectuals only think thoughts arising from borrowed knowledge.
That is why fools enjoy life while so called wise people are busy posting tweets about life.
Unfortunately, I am a wise man. — Saurabh Sharma

THE KNOWLEDGE THAT YOU CAN HANDLE ANYTHING THAT COMES YOUR WAY IS THE KEY TO ALLOWING YOURSELF TO TAKE HEALTHY, LIFE-AFFIRMING RISKS. — Susan Jeffers

We get to live in a time that we get to use social media as a tool. It's not just a face on a piece of paper, and that's what makes you someone's favorite model. We can have a very similar sense of humor as someone, and that's why we're their favorite model, or our personal style, off the runway, is why we're their favorite. — Gigi Hadid

We have more ways to get our news than ever, which is supposed to be a good thing, because more competition is supposed to challenge you to do better. However, in this social media age, what is has done is allowed the information business to be a free- rein free-for-all. Old rules of journalistic integrity have been thrown out the window. Everyone has been given the conch, and no one knows what to do with it. Instead of using the new-media landscape to spur us to higher quality, we have instead become sloppier than ever: Tweet first, research later. Post first, rescind later. Guess first, confirm later. — Luvvie Ajayi

I never felt like I had anything really figured out. When I was a teenager, it was all about teenagers having an 'identity crisis.' That was the phrase that was used. But in my early 20s, I was still like, 'When am I going to be over that?' — Kim Gordon

You could say that Facebook is doing a far more effective job than religion at teaching us to 'love thy neighbor,' connecting us with random strangers and 'friends' from distant lands. — Gemini Adams

Tempted to type meaningless twaddle all the time on Twitter ... with alliteration, no less! — E.A. Bucchianeri

What need is there to weep over parts of life? The whole of it calls for tears. — Seneca.

#Twitter: proudly promoting ghastly grammar and silly misspelling since 2006. — E.A. Bucchianeri

If someone is trying to share a laugh and you personally do not find it funny, then just move on and leave it alone. Do not steal someone else's humor. — John Patrick Hickey

I'm suffering from "Hyper-analytical Social Media Posting Disorder", characterized by a compulsion to edit 5 minutes after posting a comment, augmented by a repeating pattern: (((Tremors))) - fix-it - relief!!!

Will this comment survive? — Andrew Neff

The prefect evening ... lying down on the couch beside the bookcase and reading himself sleepy ... Jim lying opposite him at the other end of the couch, also reading; the two of them absorbed in their books yet so completely aware of each other's presence. — Christopher Isherwood

It seems we would rather have a past filled with great scientists than just great artists and writers who could dream up these wonderful and awe-inspiring creations. It's a strange irony: we're spending our time trying to find the truth in our past, but creating myths of ourselves in the present. — Aditya Iyengar

Thought for the day: Twitter ... 140 character limit ... must be a great tool for fortune cookie writers ... — E.A. Bucchianeri

Facebook has been spreading across the continents faster than a highly contagious Asian bird flu! — Gemini Adams

Knowledge fueled by emotion equals action. — Jim Rohn

You have to give kids things they're interested in reading. That's what teachers do who are engaged in what their students want. — Jenna Bush