Snarky Humor Quotes & Sayings

Sometimes I used to think to myself, 'Have I lost a sense of humor?' but I don't think that I have. I think one can be as snarky and sarcastic as lots of people, but I have never found that it makes me particularly happy. — Kenneth Branagh

The broader we cast our net, the deeper we wind up owning our own thoughts. — Peter Enns

Clearing his throat, he rumbled, "Miss Darling, a word if you please."
"Sesquipedalian," she said, keeping her back towards him.
The strange response momentarily stunned him. "Pardon?"
Turning around, she leaned against the counter and grinned at him, "You asked for a word and I gave you one. It means 'many syllabled' and while it's exceedingly pretentious it is a lot of fun to say. Sesquipedalian; it tangles up the tongue and then just falls right off.
"Or perhaps you would prefer a different word?" she continued guilelessly and he was completely charmed by her. "Tittle, which is the little dot over i's and j's; or Ornithopter, an aircraft that flies by flapping its wings; Tuatha De Danan Lora or Expector Patronum?"
"Now you're just making words up," he grinned, and realized he had missed talking to her. — A.C. Warneke

What are you running from?"
That put a damper on the fluttering lashes. "Columbia House Music Club," I said, recovering my snarkiness quickly. "Oh, sure, they say they'll sell you six CDs for a penny, but they'll hunt you down like the hounds of hell if you miss the payments. — Molly Harper

I know I'm asking a lot. You'd need to start talking, stop growling, and bathe. No offense meant, but you look like a crazy man the way you are. — Melissa Haag

If all the world's a stage, then it's missing a few planks. — John Fogarty

That's about as effective as a windshield wiper on a goat's ass. — Denise Tompkins

I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks. 'We spent one night together.'
'You had sex then?'
'No we crocheted a quilt.' I cocked my head to side and gave him my nastiest glare. Lorelei Preston to Agent Brody-The Wild Hunt — Ashley Jeffery

Jude, it was so hard seeing you day after day, that fucking smile of yours, those eyes, that snarky sense of humor. I wanted you so badly, and not being able to even touch you felt like trying to breathe under a mountain of snow. — Nash Summers

He was my age and in my imagination he was a fireman, not the kind that actually fights fires but the kind who travels the country shirtless posing for calendars. — Marika Christian

If she did bitch-slap me, I'd bitch-slap her right back, but I resented the word bitch and all its familiar forms, as it was degrading to women and dogs everywhere. — G.G. Silverman

The guy had guts - I had to give him that. Later on I was hoping for a first-hand look at them. — Rob Thurman

If you send someone a snarky Tweet, does that make you an Angry Bird? — Avram Ohm

The newly developed snarky side of my personality wanted to tell him 'There's no crying in vamp battles. — Robyn Jones

Our enemies can deal a blow to us any time they wish. They did not wait for permission to do this. They do not deal a blow with prior notice. They do not take action because they can't. — Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

I wasn't giving this guy an inch. He disturbed me. I didn't like things that disturbed me, which is why I was licensed to shoot most things that disturbed me. Unfortunately, humans were not on the list and sexual attraction was not considered a valid reason to shoot someone. — Angelia Sparrow

I fall asleep with the sound of her voice echoing in my head, and a feeling in my chest like someone is scooping my heart out with a spoon. — Melissa Keil

3. When making your dramatic exit, crawl along one of the web strands that extend outward from the center. Avoid the webbing that runs in concentric circles, as it's the stickiest.
4. Once you've escaped, say something snarky to the queen, like "Sorry I couldn't stick around. — Andrew Shaffer

An error becomes an error when born as truth. — Stanislaw Jerzy Lec

Elinor had some difficulty here to refrain from observing, that she thought Fanny might have borne with composure, an acquisition of wealth to her brother, by which neither she nor her child could be possibly impoverished. — Jane Austen

You catch more flies with honey, ever heard of that?" He shrugged. "I don't like flies. They're annoying." He grinned "I'd rather catch hell. — Heather Hildenbrand

What you're feeling now, and the person you may reach with your words five years from now-that's why you write poetry. — Colleen Hoover

You stackin cheddar cause you working at the burger place. — Inspectah Deck

Because in the end it is our emotions that make us weak, not our actions. — Tahereh Mafi

Who knew Demon Child would have such a normal name? I expected something exotic like Serena or Destiny or the Evil One That Comes in the Night to Make Us Chilly. — Darynda Jones

Wait. Are you actually suggesting that any woman who doesn't kiss your ass must therefore be gay?" He shrugged. "And you wonder why I must insult you. — Kylie Scott