Quotes & Sayings About Snark

But she needed ice on the roads. She needed her accident to look as accidental as possible. And she just didn't think she was capable of waiting another three months. Julia, however, knows none of this. She looks down at what remains of her best friend, and she thinks of all the times Liz was quiet and not really there. The times when she was the Liz everyone else knows, all snark and insanity, and the moments when she was the one that stared at invisible things and hadn't truly smiled in a long time. — Amy Zhang

What I don't like is snark for snark's sake. If you are going to make fun of me, at least be witty while doing it. — Timothy Ferriss

I'm sorry I missed the meeting and hurt your little feely-weels okay? — Nenia Campbell

Words cannot express my disappointment that I must pass on the invitation to once again witness your gelatinous buttocks swaying as you try to climb a greased pole naked in search of athletic glory. Sadly, the last occasion on which I witnessed this event had a deleterious effect on my psyche for which I am still seeking the attention of a therapist.
A.C. Kemp as Lady Arabella Snark — A.C. Kemp

The fairies came to christening parties and gave the babies magical gifts.
Bounce, effort, and snark.
Contemplation and enthusiasm. Ambition and strong coffee.
Sugar, curiosity, and rain.
And yet, there was a witch.
There's always a witch. — E. Lockhart

Another thing about pain - it renders you incapable of bullshit. — Gwen Mitchell

Flirt with the old ladies and you'll be fine," I muttered, shoving my stuff into the cubby.

He hung his green hoodie on the hooks right beside me. "Is that how you get by?"

"Doesn't work on the old ladies for me, but the old men on the other hand?" I paused and glanced at my nails. "Yeah, doesn't work on them either. — Katherine McIntyre

If the apocalypse comes...beep me! — Joss Whedon

Kate stood by the door with her arms crossed.
That was an anti-Curran pose. What the hell was the Beast Lord doing here?
I padded to the door.
"First, you didn't come home." Curran's voice held zero humor. "Second, I'm told that my mate is lingering in Raphael's house. There can't be any good reason for you to be here."
"Are you spying on me, Your Furriness?" Kate asked. — Ilona Andrews

Despite his best efforts, a few scalding tears escaped Cobalt's eyes. He swiped them away. 'Can you stand?'
'I damn well can, if my alternative's you holding me like a wilting female.' — S.W. Vaughn

Ignore the reek of feces in the air, the bloodstains on the ground, and you have yourself a glorious night. — Katherine McIntyre

I felt Leo's hand on my face, cool and smooth and utterly inhuman. He stroked back my hair, and his voice was curiously gentle when he said, "I would have been most . . . discommoded had you died."
"Yeah. That's why I stay alive," I said, my native snark coming back online, as if I had rebooted that file, "to keep you from being 'discommoded'." I'd have to look that one up. — Faith Hunter

He is a pimple on the cock of humanity — Shelly Laurenston

The placement of a perfect perfumed turd passive-aggressive zinger is equal to the flush of an orgasm. It is sublime. — Angela Ricketts

Sherrie would be there, and the last time I'd seen her at a social event she burst into tears when she saw me and ran out of the room. You're upset, I'd yelled after her, meanly. — Aimee Bender

Rumors had their own classic epidemiology. Each started with a single germinating event. Information spread from that point, mutating and interbreeding - a conical mass of threads, expanding into the future from the apex of their common birthplace. Eventually, of course, they'd wither and die; the cone would simply dissipate at its wide end, its permutations senescent and exhausted.
There were exceptions, of course. Every now and then a single thread persisted, grew thick and gnarled and unkillable: conspiracy theories and urban legends, the hooks embedded in popular songs, the comforting Easter-bunny lies of religious doctrine. These were the memes: viral concepts, infections of conscious thought. Some flared and died like mayflies. Others lasted a thousand years or more, tricked billions into the endless propagation of parasitic half-truths. — Peter Watts

[Dagley] had also taken too much in the shape of muddy political talk, a stimulant dangerously disturbing to his farming conservatism, which consisted in holding that whatever is, is bad, and any change is likely to be worse. — George Eliot

Although Lewis Carroll thought of The Hunting of the Snark as a nonsense ballad for children, it is hard to imagine - in fact one shudders to imagine - a child of today reading and enjoying it. — Martin Gardner

He grabbed the legs and addressed their owner ... current owner anyway. "Hold still. I'll get you out in a second." Then he hissed at me "Trash goes in the garbage can, Zeke, not people."
It was clear to me this guy was trash, but Griffin probably wanted to sort him into paper, plastic, glass, and human waste of space. See? Psychotic. — Rob Thurman

Gabi glared. If you want to add some variety to your sex life, why don't you just use your other hand? — Cherise Sinclair

Snark from nerds is a leading indicator that I'm wasting their time and when I find it, I ask questions until I understand the inefficiency so I can change it or explain it. — Rands

Venom's pupils contracted the instant before he slid his sunglasses back on.
She couldn't help it. "Why isn't your tongue forked?"
"Why can't you fly?" A smirk. "Those things on your back aren't accessories you know. — Nalini Singh

I don't know whether to punch you or kiss you."
"A combination of both is usually the best," Prophet advised. — S.E. Jakes

Yes, Troy, I'm tired. And do you want to know why?" She raised her brows, cocking her head on an angle to give him a full dose of attitude. "Cause I was riding Blake all night long. — Eden Summers

Your powers of observation are formidable, Michael says and Darien giggles behind one perfectly manicured hand, like some sort of preppie geisha. — Stephanie Wardrop

Jeff Beachum, Sergeant of Snark, Wielder of Witticism, Dominator of the Double Entendre, completely ran out of things to say. — Amy Lane

How the hell did you know where I was?" Prophet demanded.
Cillian said simply, "Don't bother searching your phone for chips."
"Then how did you know?"
"Prophet, I know everything."
Fuck him. Cillian did. — S.E. Jakes

I changed his name after I saw this old movie at the Snark. It's called Nosferatu, and it's the original Dracula story. It's ten times as scary as the version you see on television. The guy who plays the vampire is really bizarre. — Daniel Pinkwater

I'd seen this movie. This was the part where the dinosaurs ate the tourists. — Pippa DaCosta

As a gentleman- assuming you still have some pretensions in that direction- of honor- again, perhaps presumptuous, but still supposing your passing acquaintance with the concept- it is your duty- I won't even trouble to speculate here, but remain naively hopeful- to protect those under your care. — Connie Brockway

Things were about to change. If nothing changed, I wouldn't be writing this down because this is a book about the time when everything changed. And isn't that what every book is about? No, seriously, isn't it? I don't read books. — David Iserson

Snark is a fabulous defense mechanism. — Betsy Schow

Snark functions as a device to punish human spontaneity, eccentricity, nonconformity, and simple error. Everyone is being snarked into line, — Ryan Holiday

The day you ever have that much control over my behavior, it will be because somebody's asking you, should she get the pine box or a plain white shroud? — Michael Chabon

Whatever crimes this man had committed, they weren't as egregious as his inflated self-image. — Katherine McIntyre

In these times of stress, snark, division and despair, I still suspect that two of the most important features we possess are imagination and a capacity for goodness. Those are qualities for which we will be remembered most fondly. — Geoffrey S. Fletcher

What do you want, MacGuffin, a duel?"
"No." Julian held out both hands, one palm flat, the other held over it in a fist. "Rock, paper, scissors. Two out of three."
Ty rolled his eyes and held out his fist, apparently willing to play. Julian hit his palm three times, and Ty kept time with his fist in the air. But when Julian threw a paper, Ty reached into his jacket with his other hand and pulled his gun, aiming it at Julian.
"Ty!" Zane said in exasperation from the front seat.
"Glock, paper, scissors. I win."
"You are an ass," Julian muttered. — Abigail Roux

The trouble with today's snarky pipsqueaks who break off a sentence or two, or who write a couple of mean paragraphs, is that they don't go far enough; they don't have a coherent view of life. Spinning around in the media from moment to moment, they don't stand for anything, push for anything; they're mere opportunists without dedication, and they don't win any victories. — David Denby

There's something about winning Miss America that brings out the snark. — Gretchen Carlson

You've missed a lot of things. But mostly I think you've missed several opportunities to leave. Let me assist you to the door so that you won't miss this next one. — Victoria Laurie

Hell, right now my only weapons were Obnoxious and Snark, and I intended to use them whenever possible. — Diana Rowland

To those about to snark, we salute you. — Jacey Conrad

Where would he go?" Liam asked as he led them through the hallways, looking for a back exit.
"You're asking us to think like Ty?" Owen snorted. "I don't think that's possible; my brain isn't powered by squirrels on treadmills. — Abigail Roux

Way I figure it, if I'm forced to have a partner, might as well have one with benefits. If you're annoying me, fucking you will be more satisfying than punching you." Prophet grinned, then added slyly, "And I could punch you afterwards. — S.E. Jakes

I'm sure you've had many musicians in your soft spot. — Caisey Quinn

Ditto, Ethan said, a surprising amount of venom in his voice. I bit back a proud smile; he seemed to be adopting a little of my snark. — Chloe Neill

Hello, Mrs. Tran ... I have David's homework. And if you ever want to see it again, you'll pay me the two million dollars I asked for. — Nenia Campbell

I suppose I look acceptable, the black (haired) sheep among the Barrett blondes. — Stephanie Wardrop

The following Discourse [on art, by Sir Joshua Reynolds] is particularly Interesting to Blockheads as it endeavours to prove that There is No such thing as Inspiration & that any Man of a plain Understanding may by Thieving from Others become a Mich Angelo. — William Blake

John: I'm experiencing an odd sensation. I think it might be patriotism.
Spitfire: Steady. Too much of that can damage your health. — Paul Cornell

That's my girl," he murmured.
"I'm not your girl."
"Well," he said not bothering to hide his smile from her sightless eyes, "the good news is that the honey gave you back your sparkling personality."
"And the bad news?"
"The honey gave you back your sparkling personality. — Larissa Ione

Do you know where Jason is?" she asked Dmitri when they exited the morgue. Dmitri pressed the car remote to unlock the flame red Ferrari parked in the employees-only lot. "Tired of your Bluebell already?" A tendril of champagne circled around her senses, cut with something far harder. Never had she felt that harsh edge in Dmitri's scent. She pitied the woman he took to his bed today.
"Yeah, that's it. I'm building a harem. — Nalini Singh

Want a closer look? (Tate) Like a screwdriver through my eye socket. Sure, let's have a look-see. (Simone) Ooo, welcome back, Ms. Snark. I've missed you. (Tate) — Sherrilyn Kenyon

Tell me you aren't crying. My whole image of you as a bad-ass warrior is crumbling. — Heather R. Blair

Everybody better stay out of my way because I'm steamrollering my way through this town, powered on snark. — Sean Kennedy

Like most people raised on American movies, I have poor access to my emotions, but can banter like a motherfucker. — Josh Bazell

Johnny, he is bounce, effort, and snark. — E. Lockhart

Hungry licked her spoon and then pointed it at me. 'Aren't you forgetting the dishes?' she asked.
'Absolutely not,' I said. 'I'll remember the dishes as long as I live. See you later, Hungry. — Lemony Snicket

Has anyone sen Mr Snark "
"I saw him in the tunnel about 15 minutes ago."
"Oh no " wailed Dr Ferman "he will have been atomised."
"Oh dear" muttered an MP. "Bye-election. — Alexander McCall Smith

How bad do you want cancer? Bad enough to eat a rainbow of it? Personally, I think the red cancer would be the worst, but anything you swallow with artificial hues in it is going to pop a tumor out of your body the day after you eat it. — Laurie Notaro

Such a sweet letter from Lady Conway ... You remember my telling you about her? Her memory's bad. Can't recognize her relations always and tells them to go away."
"That might be shrewdness really," said Miss Marple, "rather than a loss of memory. — Agatha Christie

And pictures of perfection, as you know, make me sick and wicked. — Jane Austen

Ah, Proph." Tom paused. "You did have a nightmare last night."
"And here I thought maybe I dreamed it," Prophet muttered sarcastically. — S.E. Jakes

My dominant (no pun intended) discourse seems to be needy as fuck. — Alexis Hall

A lot of people have it in for me. It's practically a school sport. — Nenia Campbell

Rook Thomas, you look different somehow."
"Well, I recently got the shit kicked out of me," she said.
"Ah, that would be it then. — Daniel O'Malley

A human is not a device that reliably reports a gold standard judgment of relevance of a document to a query. — Hinrich Schutze

You don't have to make fun of it."
"Actually I do," I said. "I make fun of almost everything. — Jim Butcher

Next time I'm taking down hellhounds for you, I'll remember to tone down the pretty. — Pippa DaCosta

I'm a writer, not a DJ. I don't take requests. — Kate LeDonne Black

OK snark, settle. You're telling me you don't have the tiniest crush on him? Tell the truth, Grace," she said, cornering me over by the dishwasher.
"I don't have a crush," I debated.
"Well, maybe I have half a crush. I have a 'cruh'," I admitted, giggling.
"But it's strickly Joshua inspired," I added, knowing that was not entirely true. — Alice Clayton

For the snark was a boojum, you see. — Lewis Carroll

If God gave Dad Alzheimer's, He's got to understand when Dad forgets what church he belongs to. — Joanne Fluke

As expected, the church lady grumbled something incoherent and put Bridget's call on hold. A peppy rendition of "City of God" blared as hold music just long enough for Bridget to start to sing along with the chorus. Catholic brainwashing at its best. — Gretchen McNeil

It was borne in upon her audience that the outside of Jane's charming head was distinctly superior to the inside. — Agatha Christie

He was my age and in my imagination he was a fireman, not the kind that actually fights fires but the kind who travels the country shirtless posing for calendars. — Marika Christian

When words come out of your mouth, do your ears just block all incoming sound waves? — Amethyst Marie

These were wannabe elites who, once they popped on big-boy pants, would be infiltrating New York with their pretentiousness. — Alexandra Martin

Look, this is helping me out quite a bit, but could you just get to the punishment part? We're at the end of World War Two in history, and I can't wait to find out who wins. — Rob Thomas

How many kids are in the Graveyard?"
"A bunch."
"Who sends your supplies?"
"George Washington. Or is it Abraham Lincoln? I forget."
"How often do you receive new arrivals?"
"About as often as you beat your wife. — Neal Shusterman

Perhaps if he stumbled onto a bath and a tailor he could even be considered handsome. — Katherine McIntyre

My inner goddess confirms that staring at a beautiful/rich/powerful face is the basis of True Love. — Jess C. Scott

When you hand-wash my shirt, be sure to let it soak, you thug."
"Yes, dear," Eli said, accepting his weapons from Nunez, who clearly didn't know what to make of us or our relationship.
"He's my brother," I said to Nunez. "You can see the resemblance in the jawline and the snark line. — Faith Hunter

Lindworms are a sign of a healthy ecosystem," I said, straightening. "Now let's get out of here before the healthy ecosystem eats us. — Seanan McGuire

You can park your snark at the gate, Omaha. — Rainbow Rowell

But oh, beamish nephew, beware of the day,
If your Snark be a Boojum! for then
You will softly and suddenly vanish away,
And never be met with again! — Lewis Carroll

...I failed to...perform, with my partner, Master.

What, did you fall out of step on a foxtrot?......

Jesse and Will in Another Way — Anna Martin

I understand that you don't want to marry me," I said. "I mean, I don't know why, since I'm simply delightful to be around. But to each his own taste. — Merrie Haskell

Cleverness is like rouge - liberal application makes a woman look common and desperate. Wit is knowing how to apply it. — Tessa Dare

In this age of Twitter and Snark every misstep gets posted online in twelve seconds. — Howard Kurtz

I always wonder why condescending snarkiness is the chosen method of communication for so many forum users. It seems to me like these things would be much better expressed in non-confrontational, polite manner. — Gavin Dunne

He hung a patient expression on his face, the kind usually seen on people who talked about releasing your anger and surrounding yourself with good feelings while writing off anyone who disagreed with them as unenlightened. — Amy Fecteau

Vampire Willow: "Bored now. — Joss Whedon

You told me, girlfriend. Will your boyfriend be jealous we're tossing bitchy banter back and forth? — Lorelei James

You didn't feed from her," he said, and this was not a question.
"Swill poison? Not my kind of fun, little brother."
One corner of Stefan's mouth quirked up. He made no response to this, but simply looked at Damon with eyes that were ... knowing. Damon bridled.
"I told the truth!"
"Going to take it up as a hobby? — L.J.Smith

I am fluent in snark.
Bethany only notices snark when snark grabs her off the sidewalk, throws her in the back of a sketchy van with tinted windows, drives to the middle
of the Meadow-lands in the dead of night, and uses a heavy blunt instrument
to smack her repeatedly about the head as it screams, "I'M SNARK. DO YOU FUCKING HEAR ME? I'M SNARKY SNARKY SNARK!" And even then she's like, "Ohhhh? Snark? Is that you? — Megan McCafferty

That's me, keeping things bitchy from open to close." I turned around and gave him my customer service smile. — Katherine McIntyre

Miss Fitt, you know curiosity gets men killed."
I grinned. "Then I daresay it's good I'm a woman. — Susan Dennard

Let's get rid of those fucking ghosts once and for all, Proph. We tried burying them, but that never works. So how about we just set them free?"
"And let them go into the light, Carol Anne?"
"And just like that, you're a goddamned bastard again." But Tom was smiling as he said it. — S.E. Jakes

Sorry, one night stands don't stack up as credentials for tending bar. — Katherine McIntyre