Snappy Sarcastic Quotes & Sayings

I think that almost all traditional institutions are sexist, and they're probably racist and homophobic, and they're all of these things. But a lot of them, like marriage, are too embedded into the culture to give up. — Jessica Valenti

GOOD IDEAS ALTER THE BALANCE IN RELATIONSHIPS. THAT IS WHY GOOD IDEAS ARE ALWAYS INITIALLY RESISTED. — Hugh MacLeod

I used to work out in the gym a lot when I was younger. I was a competition body builder when I was 16 or something crazy like that for a short period of time. So, the gym is quite familiar and I know what I'm doing there. — Guy Pearce

God didn't create the universe and then sit back and watch it unfold. God is acting NOW in every situation to make every event happen. — Steven Colborne

Nice writing isn't enough. It isn't enough to have smooth and pretty language. You have to surprise the reader frequently, you can't just be nice all the time. Provoke the reader. Astonish the reader. Writing that has no surprises is as bland as oatmeal. Surprise the reader with the unexpected verb or adjective. Use one startling adjective per page. — Anne Bernays

It's over," Keelie said.
Too bad. But I want you to know, I will always love you."
She narrowed her eyes and said, "When you look at me and say that, are you thinking of Dolly Parton or Whitney Houston?"
Burt Reynolds," he said.
She nearly spit out her coffee when she laughed, then she said, "That almost makes me want to try again. — Becky Cochrane

The bare bulb in the middle of the room dimmed and brightened, brightened and dimmed again. It had taken on the rhythm of the bell, burning its hottest on each chime. In the troughs between the chimes the darkness in the room became utter; it was as if the world he had occupied for twenty-nine years had ceased to exist. Then the bell would sound again, and the bulb burn so strongly it might never have faltered, and for a few precious seconds he was standing in a familiar place, with a door that led out and down and into the street, and a window through which-had he but the will (or strength) to tear the blinds back-he might glimpse a rumor of morning. — Clive Barker

My mother was a fashion designer, and my father was a model. — Paige Butcher

- You get more misanthropic every day.
- I get older every day. My experience of human nature gets wider and deeper. — Richard Russo

It's a bad sign when someone drinks a lot and doesn't laugh. — Andres Neuman

Don't censor yourself to comfort their ignorance. — Jon Stewart

If you're giving to get, all you'll receive is disappointment. But if you're giving to give, all you'll receive is joy. — Toni Sorenson

Expectations have a creative power in it, so expect what you want in life. — Debasish Mridha

'Ten' by Pearl Jam is still by far one of my favorite albums and is a big part of what inspired me to learn guitar. — Mark Salling