Smoove L Quotes & Sayings

I would only take a role that I know I'm comfortable in and I can do. I've turned down plenty of things because I'd feel it's not me, and I wouldn't want to come on someone's project and flip that. — J. B. Smoove

I don't like to dabble in anything I don't do well. I don't talk politics. — J. B. Smoove

When I first started doing comedy years ago, I used to be the biggest Michael Richards fan. I used to love this dude. He was on a TV show called 'Fridays,' and man, he was tall and lanky - and I was tall and lanky. I love physical comedy, and he was a physical comedian, and I said, 'Man, I love this guy.' — J. B. Smoove

I'm sure back in the Greek days or the Roman Empire days, when guys fought in arenas and were fighting lions, people were talking smack. Every era in history has someone talking smack. No way you can have talent and not proclaim your victory. — J. B. Smoove

I talked about everything, man. I've always written material that everyone can laugh at. I talked about growing up. I did a lot of physical comedy. That was my thing. I was a physical comedian. I did anything and everything from running on a treadmill, I can paint a picture on stage of anything. — J. B. Smoove

I have big hands. I can't do the touch-screen thing. I'm a button guy. I want to press buttons. — J. B. Smoove

I may even show up behind the camera. I love to put things together; I love to give direction. I have a great eye for pace. — J. B. Smoove

I've done everything. Selling door-to-door fire extinguishers ... In bars, I used to repair those machines that have 10 different buttons on them to spray club soda and seltzer. — J. B. Smoove

I've had jokes stolen a thousand times. But if you can do it better than me, you can have it. I've had jokes stolen from me in the club when I'm next on stage. And my brain will start to turn, and the gears will start turning, and I'll go onstage and create a whole new bit. — J. B. Smoove

You can't let people take advantage of you. Go get that ass. — J. B. Smoove

Before I got into stand-up, I used to be a hip-hop dancer in a crew, and my name was J. Smoove, and my partner was J. Groove. — J. B. Smoove

I admire Russell Simmons. He is a successful dude that has done a little bit of everything. He keeps it moving, and he's still doing things. Larry David is also amazing. He is honest and blunt. A creative genius. — J. B. Smoove

I loved Peter Sellers. I thought he was the perfect mix of physical comedy with out-of-the-box humor. I loved his tone; I loved his physicality; I loved everything about what he was doing as a comedic actor. — J. B. Smoove

If your boss asks you why you're comin' in late, you say it's 'cause you stayed late. — J. B. Smoove

My wife and I have been together for 11 years, and seven of those married. We got married on 07/07/07. We support each other 150 percent. We have fun. We are a modern-day Sonny & Cher. I don't sing. My wife sings. We're so different, but so alike. We got that ying and yang thing going on. You see it, but you don't know how it works. — J. B. Smoove

Mel Gibson is losing it. I don't know how people still supporting this dude's movies like it's all good. That dude is nuts. All you gotta do is shut him down and don't support any of his movies. — J. B. Smoove

True Yankees fans know an up-and-coming player when they see one. — J. B. Smoove

We came here to pick up chicks, not talk about dicks. — J. B. Smoove

You have to fail, man, but you cannot allow failure to stop you from doing what you must do. Failing is just as good as succeeding in a lot of ways. It's how you react to it all. You can react to success the wrong way and be a total failure. Or you can react to losing with your whole heart, learn from it, and be a huge success. In stand-up, I've learned to know when I'm burning it up or when I'm being so-so. That's experience. I learn every single time I'm on a stage. — J. B. Smoove

People love things about Hollywood. People love to see the inside of what's going on. — J. B. Smoove

I wish black people had a flag they could put into the ground, like when the troops stormed Iwo Jima. — J. B. Smoove

To be a true comic, you have to have a signature move. You ever watch wrestling? And your favorite wrestler has the one move that he always does to finish his opponent off, right? Like when he climbs on the rope, and he always jumps off the top rope and finishes off his opponent - that's what a comic has. — J. B. Smoove

When I started stand-up, the first thing I did was to take an improv class. — J. B. Smoove

'The ruckus' is different experiences you go through throughout your life which builds your ruckus points up - your tolerance. You've got to have a high tolerance for dealing with stuff all the time. — J. B. Smoove

There's book smart, there is street smart, there's relationship smart, there's too many different kinds of smarts to know all of them. Everybody doesn't know every kind of smart. There's money smart, there's movie smart, there's computer smart. There's just too many different kinds of smarts for people to know all the smarts. — J. B. Smoove

When you're on stage performing stand-up, things only happen one time. I've done bits where I improv a joke, and people are dying. The next show, I try to repeat it, I can't do it. Because with the first audience that was our moment. It can't happen the same way again. We were all there: a certain type of people were at that show and we all got it. — J. B. Smoove

I love to pitch things that I believe in and products that I love to use. — J. B. Smoove

My wife is a vegetarian. When my wife is with me, I eat vegetarian. When she's not, I eat meat. I'm just being honest. — J. B. Smoove

This Italian restaurant I'm at is authentic! When they seat you, they give you a mustache. — J. B. Smoove

I'll drive down the street, and I'll practice improv. I will sit there at a red light and see two guys talking to each other, and I will just start playing both characters. I can't hear them, but I can see their mouths moving, so I'll just put words in their mouths. — J. B. Smoove

I don't consider myself a stand-up comedian. I consider myself a performer; a comic as opposed to stand-up comedian. Stand-up comedians stand there and do their bits; I break every rule in creation. If there's a rule that can be broken in stand-up, I'll do it. — J. B. Smoove

If I had signed my fourth season of SNL, I wouldn't have ever had the opportunity to do Curb Your Enthusiasm. If my buddy OG Pearson wouldn't have passed away, I wouldn't have been in L.A. for his memorial, and I would've never auditioned for Curb. — J. B. Smoove